Frustrations
I’ve known for a long time that I was the black sheep of my family. I don’t really like referring to myself as the black sheep…..in my experience it carries a negative connotation with it. Nevertheless, I can’t see any really good way of explaining my role in my family. Black sheep fits.
My family of origin has never quite understood me. I believe it is because I have a much bigger world view than they do and that I’m actually interested in learning. My family is very simple minded. They aren’t interested in learning much beyond what they absolutely need to know in order to survive from day to day in their small world. They not only are completely satisfied to be the way they are, but they see no reason to even think about expanding their horizons.
It’s very frustrating for me. They don’t understand me and they can’t appreciate me and my talents. I suppose that if my talents were bringing in money they’d appreciate me….at least from a monetary perspective. “I can’t comprehend what she’s doing with her life, but since she’s making a good living at it I guess I should be proud…..” No, from their perspective I’m just “strange”. Oh yes, and if I get frustrated with their inability to understand and I show that frustration then I’m not only strange, but I’ve got a “bad temper” to boot. It’s in my best interest to just calmly walk into a room, lock the door and beat my head against a wall until I either feel better or am unconscious. No doubt that would cause even more raised eyebrows.
I want someone in my corner who understands what my life goals are. I want someone who understands that I’m well equipped to be successful in the field of psychology. Someone who understands that a degree in psychology is NOT a degree in basket weaving. Someone who realizes that it’s practical, useful and the world needs good therapists.
I need a cheerleader in my corner. It’s very emotionally draining to have an entire family full of people who do not understand you. It’s hard to be the only person who believes in my goals and dreams. They are waiting for me to fail. Not that they want me to fail or that they would ever say that to my face, but they can't comprehend that I will do anything else other than fail since what I'm undertaking is so strange in their eyes. There are times when I feel fragile without the support system that I need to help bolster me.
I know the answer to this problem. I will address it…..no worries. It’s just that sometimes it helps to write down my disappointments.
My family of origin has never quite understood me. I believe it is because I have a much bigger world view than they do and that I’m actually interested in learning. My family is very simple minded. They aren’t interested in learning much beyond what they absolutely need to know in order to survive from day to day in their small world. They not only are completely satisfied to be the way they are, but they see no reason to even think about expanding their horizons.
It’s very frustrating for me. They don’t understand me and they can’t appreciate me and my talents. I suppose that if my talents were bringing in money they’d appreciate me….at least from a monetary perspective. “I can’t comprehend what she’s doing with her life, but since she’s making a good living at it I guess I should be proud…..” No, from their perspective I’m just “strange”. Oh yes, and if I get frustrated with their inability to understand and I show that frustration then I’m not only strange, but I’ve got a “bad temper” to boot. It’s in my best interest to just calmly walk into a room, lock the door and beat my head against a wall until I either feel better or am unconscious. No doubt that would cause even more raised eyebrows.
I want someone in my corner who understands what my life goals are. I want someone who understands that I’m well equipped to be successful in the field of psychology. Someone who understands that a degree in psychology is NOT a degree in basket weaving. Someone who realizes that it’s practical, useful and the world needs good therapists.
I need a cheerleader in my corner. It’s very emotionally draining to have an entire family full of people who do not understand you. It’s hard to be the only person who believes in my goals and dreams. They are waiting for me to fail. Not that they want me to fail or that they would ever say that to my face, but they can't comprehend that I will do anything else other than fail since what I'm undertaking is so strange in their eyes. There are times when I feel fragile without the support system that I need to help bolster me.
I know the answer to this problem. I will address it…..no worries. It’s just that sometimes it helps to write down my disappointments.