This is very pertinent to my new job! One big part of it is that I evaluate patient's swallowing and feeding ability. XD I don't work in an acute unit though... thank goodness! The Sputum patate mold thing sounds a bit too gross for me, and I have to admit I do a great job handling gross stuff.
You might be a dysphagia therapist if... Dysphagia is the medical term for "problems swallowing/feeding" btw.
And P.S. -- my "cornbread" is scrambled eggs. I view all scrambled eggs on a patient's food tray with much distrust and suspicion. Sure, it's "dental soft" but it's to gummy and chewy and crusty and soft that I basically think it's "advanced consistency." Grrrr!