why do i even bother...
...livejournal has long ago been pronounced officially dead. but yet, here i am feeling the strange urge to write something. in this journal. something. something of substance.
for some reason completely unbeknown to myself i was looking through my past entries today and everything seems so....shallow. lighthearted. casual.
...but that's me, right? at least...that's the impression everyone seems to get...i'm just a happy, relaxed, always chipper sort of person, right? but it's far from the truth. i mean, yes, i am about as relaxed as they come and a fairly stable person as far as emotions go...it takes quite a giant heave to rock my boat...but sometimes i feel like i don't come across as having any depth. i don't know. maybe i'm wrong. all i know is that so many thoughts...so many ideas lay imbedded within me that i do not dare allow to escape...but sometimes i wish i would...
that just gets me thinking further...if i possess this...dimension...that i conceal from most of the world...what sort of depth lay behind others? what sort of secret intellectual qualities lie hidden from my view? this only makes me more determined never to judge people...even based on what i personally observe of them...for i cannot fathom what lies deep within them...i cannot fathom their personal struggles and weaknesses...just as they cannot fathom mine. even someone who in every way seems to be intellectually dull....mentally dry....who can imagine the thoughts they ponder late at night? who can imagine their true capacity....for even those who have been labled mentally delayed have taught something to humanity. even those who have been categorically catagorized as slow or stupid can sometimes see things in a different light, can sometimes open up a whole new world to us.
intelligence. who are we to decide what it is? we have no idea what it is. everyone exists exactly as they are for a reason. everyone has something they can contribute to humanity. therefore, no person is not worth my time. no person does not deserve my love and respect. even if they do me wrong...even if they get under my skin and on my nerves...even if they seem to be filled to the brim with evil...they deserve my love. they deserve forgiveness. they deserve a chance to be heard. they deserve a chance to be understood.
...for they are just as undeserving as i....
for some reason completely unbeknown to myself i was looking through my past entries today and everything seems so....shallow. lighthearted. casual.
...but that's me, right? at least...that's the impression everyone seems to get...i'm just a happy, relaxed, always chipper sort of person, right? but it's far from the truth. i mean, yes, i am about as relaxed as they come and a fairly stable person as far as emotions go...it takes quite a giant heave to rock my boat...but sometimes i feel like i don't come across as having any depth. i don't know. maybe i'm wrong. all i know is that so many thoughts...so many ideas lay imbedded within me that i do not dare allow to escape...but sometimes i wish i would...
that just gets me thinking further...if i possess this...dimension...that i conceal from most of the world...what sort of depth lay behind others? what sort of secret intellectual qualities lie hidden from my view? this only makes me more determined never to judge people...even based on what i personally observe of them...for i cannot fathom what lies deep within them...i cannot fathom their personal struggles and weaknesses...just as they cannot fathom mine. even someone who in every way seems to be intellectually dull....mentally dry....who can imagine the thoughts they ponder late at night? who can imagine their true capacity....for even those who have been labled mentally delayed have taught something to humanity. even those who have been categorically catagorized as slow or stupid can sometimes see things in a different light, can sometimes open up a whole new world to us.
intelligence. who are we to decide what it is? we have no idea what it is. everyone exists exactly as they are for a reason. everyone has something they can contribute to humanity. therefore, no person is not worth my time. no person does not deserve my love and respect. even if they do me wrong...even if they get under my skin and on my nerves...even if they seem to be filled to the brim with evil...they deserve my love. they deserve forgiveness. they deserve a chance to be heard. they deserve a chance to be understood.
...for they are just as undeserving as i....