Cassandra Phenomenon

[mellowtigger]

It's not bigotry if it's true.

I learned Friday morning about a new term. It's a term that apparently has some autistic self-advocates in quite an impressive twist. Some are rather shrill in calling it a sham and a bogus disorder, while others are more cautious and simply call it counterproductive to call attention to this disorder because it

Comments

[polygonia]

I don't know, I haven't been in a relationship before because I'm shy, but it seems like relationships take a lot of hard work, and it's good for a non-AS person to try to understand someone with AS rather than expect them be what they are not or to expect things from a relationship a person can't get because a relationship isn't about total complition and contentment.

I don't know if I'm making sense, but I'm with the person above. I hope you find someone who is kind and understanding and right for you because it's kind of sad to me for you to feel that way about yourself....

I hope I'm not insulting you, but perhaps it would be helpful if you talked to a counselor about this.
Even two NT people would have a lot of trouble in a relationship and not just because of that mars and venus thing, but because it's hard being with another person, but I hope one day you can feel a bit wholer. I'm not sure if I agree with this Cassandra Phenomenon concept...Anyone would need a relationship with compassion, understanding and communication, but it does start with loving yourself first.

Now if I can work on the same thing and get into a relationship one day. Have a good night and I hope I didn't make you feel bad or something.

[mellowtigger]

No, I read nothing insulting in your words.

I think a useful metaphor here is dance. When two people are learning to dance, each may step on the other's toes and hurt them a little. The hurting lessens as they become more skillful at the dance. With some people, though, the stepping is more like stomping. It's more pain than the partner should ever be asked to endure. Sometimes it might be better for a massive klutz to bow out, stand along the wall alone, and just watch the other people dance.

I hadn't thought about counseling because I had already chosen my solution. It is a solution that works, after all, for its intended purpose. As I learn more, though, and think about the possibility of relationship... then I suppose counseling becomes more of a useful tool to consider.

[polygonia]

Yeah, I had some counseling for my social phobia with a psychologist. She was like, you have to get out and meet people more.

It's still hard for me because I don't totally like being social too, but I do want a boyfriend eventually, or perhaps even a girl friend.
As relationships sound appealing and kind of scary at the same time.