disowning
Well, it's happening again. I posted on this same topic (it was my only Friends-only post) back early in the year when there was still snow on the ground. Apparently I need to put more effort into resolving it. How does a person go about getting themselves kicked from a family without causing any particular trouble? Or, at least, less trouble than is being generated by simply avoiding contact?
My urge is to send a single email to all the relevant parties that simply states that I am not who they want me to be. I figure regardless of how I phrase it, though, they'll just assume that I hate them and then insist that I tell them why, which would satisfy neither my needs nor theirs. Has anyone out there tried to get disowned by their family? I have no interest in inheritances, so just being considered by them as a dead relative would really seem the best solution.
"I don't live my life in the company of other people. This fact should be no surprise to any of you, as you all saw that I made no effort to keep close contact with anyone at any age. Following this same method for the last 4 decades, I have just moved on with my life. Those years provided plenty of time for all of you to grow accustomed to the idea that I am simply not like other people. I have not tried dating in more than a decade because, in part, it is far easier for me to survive just as my self than it is try to try incorporating other people into my life. I have no interest in maintaining contact with you, but my motivation grows from my own instinct for survival and has little to do with ill will toward anyone from my past. I can remember a pleasant memory for each of you that I grew up near, but such thoughts do not cause me to consider you part of my life today. Just think of the day that I moved away from Midland as the day that I died, and move on with your own lives and plans. I hope someday to finally understand a single person fully, but I think that I do not have enough room in my mind for more than that. As with the rest of humanity that I encounter, I can be concerned for your troubles and triumphs only in a general sense. Save your stories and your efforts for people who can be intimately involved in your lives. I am not such people."
That's my current draft. If I can't think of any better way to resolve things, I may resort to using it soon.
Yes, I do think that I am being self-consistent here. There has been a time or two when people who left my immediate vicinity (or I theirs) still left me with a desire to maintain contact over the years. Thinking forward, though, I've already accepted that I'll have to pass even them into the category of "general humanity" as well. When I finally decide to make my walk into the forest without coming back, I cannot have any ties to old ways of thinking. Remembering them would lead me to remembering language. And language is one of the things that I hope to experiment with leaving behind eventually. But that's a story for a different post. Focusing on the here and now, I just need a way to ease my relatives into an understanding that I'll never be the loving [son, brother, uncle, whatever] that they expect, and that I consider myself just another wandering person on a busy planet.
My urge is to send a single email to all the relevant parties that simply states that I am not who they want me to be. I figure regardless of how I phrase it, though, they'll just assume that I hate them and then insist that I tell them why, which would satisfy neither my needs nor theirs. Has anyone out there tried to get disowned by their family? I have no interest in inheritances, so just being considered by them as a dead relative would really seem the best solution.
"I don't live my life in the company of other people. This fact should be no surprise to any of you, as you all saw that I made no effort to keep close contact with anyone at any age. Following this same method for the last 4 decades, I have just moved on with my life. Those years provided plenty of time for all of you to grow accustomed to the idea that I am simply not like other people. I have not tried dating in more than a decade because, in part, it is far easier for me to survive just as my self than it is try to try incorporating other people into my life. I have no interest in maintaining contact with you, but my motivation grows from my own instinct for survival and has little to do with ill will toward anyone from my past. I can remember a pleasant memory for each of you that I grew up near, but such thoughts do not cause me to consider you part of my life today. Just think of the day that I moved away from Midland as the day that I died, and move on with your own lives and plans. I hope someday to finally understand a single person fully, but I think that I do not have enough room in my mind for more than that. As with the rest of humanity that I encounter, I can be concerned for your troubles and triumphs only in a general sense. Save your stories and your efforts for people who can be intimately involved in your lives. I am not such people."
That's my current draft. If I can't think of any better way to resolve things, I may resort to using it soon.
Yes, I do think that I am being self-consistent here. There has been a time or two when people who left my immediate vicinity (or I theirs) still left me with a desire to maintain contact over the years. Thinking forward, though, I've already accepted that I'll have to pass even them into the category of "general humanity" as well. When I finally decide to make my walk into the forest without coming back, I cannot have any ties to old ways of thinking. Remembering them would lead me to remembering language. And language is one of the things that I hope to experiment with leaving behind eventually. But that's a story for a different post. Focusing on the here and now, I just need a way to ease my relatives into an understanding that I'll never be the loving [son, brother, uncle, whatever] that they expect, and that I consider myself just another wandering person on a busy planet.