(no subject)
Jesus!!!!!!!!!! Do you see what time it is??? Take a look and the time stamp... It's almost 3 a.m... Luck me felt the beginings of an anxity attack... The same thing that landed me at the firestation being revived... I don't know why... for about 6 to 7 hours straight I've been struggling to breath and I felt likek I was on some kind of twizted fucking drug cuz, I coulndn't walk; only wobble. Couldn't talk; only mummble and slurr. Couldn't breath; only nearly pass out every 2.713 seconds...
The biggest thing that upset me about this is:
1. COMPLETLY unexpected
2.I'm tiered but can't sleep. (thats because I can't even breath when I lay down)
3.Nothing I can do, have done, will do works... I can't seem to calm down..
Just like the firestation, I didn't think I was THAT upset about my shit... Yeah some bullshit happend in the past couple of weeks; that is a fairly big deal to me... But nothing happend that fucking bad....I had to find some body to talk to me ont he phone no matter what... The pharametics said talking really help me release the corbon monoxid thats fucking me up.. That and I need someone to keep me busy and constantly on something ..... I f I had something to continuously keep me thinking then is was a lot easier to keep from backing out...
and nobody was around.. No one answered thier phones... On a friday night I couldn't find one person to talk to me for 30 minutes or so.
I tried taking a shower to snap me out of it.. and I ended up sitting on the shower floor for 15 minutes because I coulnd't stand up... I coulnd't feel my legs for some reason... they felt so weak and I kept falling everytime I tried to get up...I had to crawl out of the tuband lay on the cold tile floor for a while till I could finally stand up long enough to make it to my room across the hall.....
but I'm glade to report this: I am feeling a little bit better... I might get to sleep around 5 or 6 a.m.... what bullshit is that...
The biggest thing that upset me about this is:
1. COMPLETLY unexpected
2.I'm tiered but can't sleep. (thats because I can't even breath when I lay down)
3.Nothing I can do, have done, will do works... I can't seem to calm down..
Just like the firestation, I didn't think I was THAT upset about my shit... Yeah some bullshit happend in the past couple of weeks; that is a fairly big deal to me... But nothing happend that fucking bad....I had to find some body to talk to me ont he phone no matter what... The pharametics said talking really help me release the corbon monoxid thats fucking me up.. That and I need someone to keep me busy and constantly on something ..... I f I had something to continuously keep me thinking then is was a lot easier to keep from backing out...
and nobody was around.. No one answered thier phones... On a friday night I couldn't find one person to talk to me for 30 minutes or so.
I tried taking a shower to snap me out of it.. and I ended up sitting on the shower floor for 15 minutes because I coulnd't stand up... I coulnd't feel my legs for some reason... they felt so weak and I kept falling everytime I tried to get up...I had to crawl out of the tuband lay on the cold tile floor for a while till I could finally stand up long enough to make it to my room across the hall.....
but I'm glade to report this: I am feeling a little bit better... I might get to sleep around 5 or 6 a.m.... what bullshit is that...