"You're still my favorite artist in the county."
Today is Thursday so I am pretty happy. My weeks go like this: Middle of week= good, end of week= bad, beginning of week= horrible. Yep. What's up with that? I think it sucks a lot.
So I didn't make the GHP county interview. I feel like a big idiot because EVERYONE makes county. I was the only one from Chamblee that applied to not make it. Landers came into 6th period on Tuesday and took me outside. I could tell by her face. I said "I didn't make it." She said "No. I'm sorry." We talked a little bit. She could tell I was tearing up so she gave me a big hug and let me come back to her room, or Mr. D's room since everyone in Landers' room knew where she had gone. Ashlie was in Mr. D's room. I told her, teared up, got a big hug and some wise words. It was so great to have Ashlie there. 10,000 points for you. After school, I went to my mom's house and she was in Athens. I broke down. I called her and she comforted me. My dad called, so I told him as well through some sobs. I couldn't handle being alone so I went to Carolina's where I did my homework and listened to my headphones while she did her's. When I finished my work I just wanted to go to sleep. I closed my eyes and Carolina comforted me while I cried once again for what felt like the millionth time.
So obviously I'm really disappointed and let down, but there's good parts to it as well I guess. I will now have more time to make art on my own and I'll get to spend more time at home before Glenna leaves for college. I'll be able to spend more time with artist boy and all my other friends, too. I'll be able to get a job, and I will be able to spend my first summer with a car and a license at home. I can spend more time with all my family and my little baby Zoie dog. I won't have to make a portfolio for state and spend all my time making art and stressing out about it.
The reasons that I wanted to go besides the art part still remain an obstacle though. I'm dreading it. Last summer was awful and I can't let that happen this summer. I have to make sure I'm busy all the time and that I'm happy. I'm honestly really scared. My stomach hurts just thinking about it. But I guess I'm excited at the same time.
We'll just have to wait and see.