Title: Strange Love (Laundry Day: Mark II)
Fandom: Supernatural
Author: Mello McQueen
Summary: In which Dean is annoyed, Castiel complains a little (or a lot depending on your perspective), Sam comes to some (entirely accurate) conclusions, Dean’s clothes remain entirely unapologetic and the car probably isn’t fixable.
Genre: Crack~tastic/Humor
Characters/Pairings: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Dean and Castiel’s respective clothing. Implied Dean/Castiel.
Authoress Notes: Written at 12/12/2011 8.01 A.M. Word Count: 1,326. Yep, that’s right, it’s a sequel! Enjoy.
Strange Love (Laundry Day: Mark II)
Castiel has been standing in the middle of Bobby’s junkyard observing Dean for some time, by human standards. In actuality it has only been one hour, fifteen minutes and forty seven seconds.
Dean has ignored Castiel’s presence for all but twenty-two of those seconds, instead preferring to focus on his task of repairing one of Bobby’s broken down cars - the salvage-ability of which Castiel has begun to question - with excessive attention.
This is mildly irritating, Castiel thinks, but not so much as the unkempt state of Dean’s clothing. Despite Castiel’s previous efforts to teach them a lesson, they are once again behaving in that same disobedient fashion, dirt covered and grease-stained as they are.
The angel sighs at this, lingering some twenty odd feet from Dean’s location. "I don't understand.” He insists, seemingly to thin air though in reality his comments are directed at his own attire.“Is it possible that they feel they will gain some form of satisfaction or pleasure from being unkempt and crude constantly?” A pause. “You are always so good and nice and yet they are discourteous and impolite and...and..."
Obnoxious? Castiel’s clothes seem to say. Castiel nods at this in affirmation.
"It is...frustrating." Confides Castiel as he adjusts the edge of his left cuff, frowning slightly as his tie ruffles in the wind. It seems to point in Dean's direction and Castiel can only sigh. "Yes," He says, "I know. Dean is clearly a bad influence on them."
Castiel strokes his fingers along the cuff, satisfied that his clothes seem to be in agreement and he nods again, looking away from Dean who has paused, halfway through the action of wiping motor-oil on his jeans, to glare up at him. Castiel notices that nothing is being done to rectify this situation. He also notes that Dean’s glaring is a marketed improvement considering the man has not been able to look Castiel in the eye for over a week now, much to the angel’s confusion.
Castiel tells his clothing as such. "Dean is very strange." He informs them, and goes back to staring at the hunter once Dean has gone back to pretending that the angel does not exist. As he observes him, he tells his clothes all the things that make Dean confusing to him - things that he could never tell the other angels.
Not that he hasn't tried, mind you, it's just that his brother's all seem to misinterpret the things that he says, especially Balthazar who has gone from referring to Dean as 'the hunter' to 'your hunter' and recently, much to Castiel’s chagrin, more often than not the word ‘hunter’ is exchanged for other more intimate terms such as 'boyfriend' and 'lover'.
As Castiel speaks, he feels somewhat relieved to get these things 'off of his chest' as human beings say.
He is so engrossed in his task of contemplating the enigma that is Dean Winchester and his errant clothing, Castiel does not notice Sam's approach until the younger Winchester is standing beside him, frowning at Castiel in that way that Dean often does that tells him he is doing something that human's find strange - although, Sam is Sam and not Dean and so it is not quite the same but it is close enough that Castiel recognizes it for what it is.
Instead of commenting on this, he says: "Hello, Sam." by way of greeting.
Sam nods, slow and careful, watching Castiel as though he thinks the angel is unstable.
"Hey...uh...Castiel." A pause, "what're you...uh...up to?"
Castiel frowns. It takes him a second to work out that this is a form of human slang and that Sam wants to know his reason for being at Bobby Singer's house. "I was contemplating your brother. I find him difficult to understand." He says, honestly.
Sam blinks and seems surprised by this. After a moment of hesitation, he gives a laugh that Castiel and his clothing separately conclude sounds somewhere between slightly nervous and uncomfortable. Castiel wonders why. "Well, uh...Dean's really not that hard to understand." Sam says, with a half shrug. “I mean, uh, he’s pretty easy to read, once you get to know him, you know?”
Castiel frowns and goes back to staring at Dean. He considers this and quickly comes up with a list of facts concerning the elder Winchester, which he then relays to Sam. “Dean is a hunter. He is loyal to you and he loves his car. He likes pie and bacon cheeseburgers and beer and the act of courting physically appealing women of questionable legality in bars.”
Sam is about to say something concerning Castiel’s observations, but Castiel continues with: “however, Dean does not love them and has no intention of developing further relationships with them. He is generally rude and impolite and prone to bouts of blasphemy and recklessness and… he is a bad influence on others.”
“Uh…well…” Sam starts, instinctively wanting to defend his brother, despite not being sure what to say as Castiel looks down at his tie. The angel runs his fingers over the silk surface and sighs resignedly.
“I know it does not make sense but…I do not find these things as abhorrent as I, perhaps, should.” He says, softly, more to his tie than to Sam who he notices is once again staring at him with that same baffled look of confusion, as though Castiel has suddenly grown a second head.
He hasn’t. He would have noticed that.
“Is everything alright, Sam Winchester?” He asks, looking up at the other in question. Sam glances down at the fabric still pressed between the angel’s fingers and says:
“Uh, no…well, I mean, yeah, uh…everything is…everything’s fine.” Castiel frowns and tries to determine if Sam is lying to him, however, the younger Winchester does not seem to be.
Castiel nods, then. “If you are certain, Sam.” Turning to give Dean one last considering look, he adds: “I apologize, but there are things I must attend to.” And with that he stretches his wings and takes flight, leaving Sam to stare at the empty space beside him.
Sam stands stock still for a long moment after Castiel departs before eventually making his way over to Dean who is working on another of Bobby’s old cars. It doesn’t look particularly salvageable if you were to ask Sam, but that’s exactly why Dean is the mechanic and he’s the geek with the laptop. “Hey, Dean.” He greets.
Dean looks up at him and nods in acknowledgement and Sam doesn’t miss the way his eyes briefly track the area behind Sam, searching for a sign of Castiel. After a moment, he confirms this by saying: “So, where’d our friendly neighborhood angel get off to?”
Sam shrugs at this. “I don’t know.” He replies in earnest, “he said he had places to be so I guess he must.”
“Huh.” Is all Dean says to this, as he wipes his greasy hands on a dirty rag that doesn’t so much as remove the substance as it simply smears it around on his skin, and picks up a bottled water, untwisting the cap. He’s mid-swig when Sam says:
“So, uh…I think he was talking to his clothes.”
Dean’s eyebrows arch upwards slightly and he gives Sam this look that can only mean: “See? I told you so. …bitch.”
“Yeah, yeah, jerk…” Sam replies, automatically, to the things that Dean isn’t saying. “I know. But, I think he might be in love with them.” He adds and watches Dean whose eyebrows arch higher in a silent question of: “what the hell? Seriously?”
Sam nods sagely, then pauses, waiting until Dean takes another drink and is mid-swallow before finishing with: “Well, why not? He’s in love with you, right?”
Predictably, Dean sputters and almost chokes to death on his water.
“Shut up, Sam.” He says when he can breathe properly, putting the water bottle back down and stalking off.
Sam struggles not to laugh himself into a coma.
End