modern warfare

[mellin]

i found that bottle.
more than two years have passed.
i feel sick.
people want to help me "get past it".
i would feel like an even more terrible person if i were able to do so.
all the while
i'm worried about rancs
my mom
my dad
apartments
my brothers
skin rashes
boys
fucking boys.
boys who don't care about me.
alcohol
clarity
but i could have given this some thought
i actually put it out of my mind.
that's what sickens me.
in my head, it was 6 months ago.
in reality, it was more than two years ago.
it makes me really, really sad.