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[melliefluffle]

All I want is to forget. I want to close my eyes and see darkness, but instead when I close my eyes I am haunted by images that just won't go away. I don't want these feelings. I don't want these memories. I want a blank slate. I want to go to bed at night and not have my sleep tortured by dreams that taunt me in the morning. Instead, every morning

Comments

[mellowslow]

mellie!

so funny cuz i was gonna write to you last night, i was wondering where you were,and how you've been

so glad to hear things are better.

are you still in the military?
whats goin on in your life?
post back ; i missed hearing from ya

[melliefluffle]

Hey :)

I suppose I am still in the military. I even got promoted! Ha! I have to pay my unit a visit this weekend and make a likely futile attempt to bail myself out of the shithole I dug myself into. It should be a good show.

Thanks for checking up on me... it means a lot. :)

<3

[mellowslow]

are you active or reserves?
gl with all that
at least it sounds like fun times at the lake
:hugs:

[melliefluffle]

Oh yeah. Lots of lake fun... just not much reservist fun. My commander is gonna chew me a new asshole, probably take all my rank and put me on toilet scrubbing duty for the next six months. Or maybe he'll just chapter me straight into the IRR and off to Iraq... ha!

I'm psychotically optimistic about this weekend. I'll let you know how it goes. :)

[mellowslow]

when i decided i needed to get out i just stopped going to the the center and started seeing a doctor instead. stories about eye twitching, heart palpitations, etc got me meds that aren't desirable in the military, thus easing the separation process. they let me out w/o penalties and wished me well in my future endeavors.

[melliefluffle]

I'll keep that in mind, but I actually don't want to get out. I just needed a little breather from... everything... and now that my breather is over I want to get all the things that I let slide back on track... including my military crap. I still want to be a drill sergeant some day, and I can't do that from the IRR...

[mellowslow]

i see. and although i've never met you in person i have a sneaking suspicion you'd make an excellent DI. the kind you that doesn't take any crap but you always remember. all the best!