P.S.
Sometimes writing things down just seems to make me feel relieved to get some things off my mind. I probably should just make it officially lame and add DEAR DIARY to the damn beginning of this thing. I was thinking a lot lately about my life so far. I Can't believe half of the things that have happened to me. I thought about what I've done so far with myself and its a little overwhelming. I'm about to move out of this house i worked so hard to pay for. I'm about to basically start all over again. Change is always hard for me. Then again probably for most people...With the recent events that have gone on i find myself wondering if I'm ever going to sort it all out. Is it ever going to make any sense? IS there really going to be a day where it all hits you and comes together like it should just so you can say....ya this is right where i wanted to be.
I've always learned my lessons the hard way, every single time it seems. I guess im just exhausted from it all. The emotional ride i continuously get back onto. Only the older i get the scarier it is. I can actually remember the days of being so care free from most issues that tremendously bother me now. Biggest of all is LOVE. When your a child i truly feel you know the meaning. You're not judging, pure innocence and loving without agenda or any regrets. Now it just gets to me. Like most of my confidants i talk to. It seems if you have someone you love, and loves you in return that's all that really matters. Because no matter how poorly the day has gone, how much your job pissed you off, how broke you are...if you've got that someone it doesn't bother you so much. Because at the end of the day, you're happiest with just being with that someone. When you dont? Well ive found it doesnt matter what kind of job you have, how many new things you buy, friends you have..if the one you loved is gone it all seems meaningless to not share it with someone.
It's so annoyingly hard to figure it all out. I suppose thats what makes it so worth it. When its all said and done I sure hope my life has started on the right track this time. I cant tell what the future will bring, but im hoping its better and beautiful.
I've always learned my lessons the hard way, every single time it seems. I guess im just exhausted from it all. The emotional ride i continuously get back onto. Only the older i get the scarier it is. I can actually remember the days of being so care free from most issues that tremendously bother me now. Biggest of all is LOVE. When your a child i truly feel you know the meaning. You're not judging, pure innocence and loving without agenda or any regrets. Now it just gets to me. Like most of my confidants i talk to. It seems if you have someone you love, and loves you in return that's all that really matters. Because no matter how poorly the day has gone, how much your job pissed you off, how broke you are...if you've got that someone it doesn't bother you so much. Because at the end of the day, you're happiest with just being with that someone. When you dont? Well ive found it doesnt matter what kind of job you have, how many new things you buy, friends you have..if the one you loved is gone it all seems meaningless to not share it with someone.
It's so annoyingly hard to figure it all out. I suppose thats what makes it so worth it. When its all said and done I sure hope my life has started on the right track this time. I cant tell what the future will bring, but im hoping its better and beautiful.