A long one!
I'm sitting here in the back room of my two room double, mostly because the front room is full of stuff. A majority of it isn't even mine! Part of me is looking forward to setting up the room, and part of me is dreading it. I want to get most of it done today because I have things to do for chorale (such as update the roster) and other small little details like by shampoo. Showers tend to be good things.
I haven't had time to process the past few days. As soon as I got up to Waterville, I really felt like I wanted to go home. I started to have such mixed feelings about senior year. Mostly I felt drained -- I still do. I look at the year ahead and think to myself How in the world am I going to manage to pull this off? With God's help, surely.
Colby Christian Fellowship encourages me though. At first it was on my "draining" list, but from what's been happening and through conversations I've had with people, I think there's a lot of potential. There's a need for intimacy in the group that I think we were all aware of but no one had the courage to speak up on this issue until Patrick did Friday night. I unfortunately missed what he had to say, but I've talked to several people about what I missed and have a relatively clear picture of what he said. I also plan on talking to him directly. We talked about the need to be more vulnerable with each other. There should already be some level of trust, as we are all brothers and sisters in Christ -- we are all part of God's family. We should be able to share in each other's struggles, as well as in their joys.
On some level, this already exists, but mostly between those of us who know each other well. Those who know us well enough to push us for an answer about how we are doing when we gloss it over with a non-committal "fine." But here, it leads to clique-iness. I have always felt that there was an undefined "in" and "out" group in the fellowship, mostly among those who attend the same church. I think that this willingness to be vulnerable with each other is a step in the right direction.
So we'll see what God has in store. I know people want to "turn up the volume" a notch or two as far as our voice on campus is concerned. Not anything blatant, mind you. But supporting more speakers that we would agree with even if they aren't necessarily Christian, being more involved with people on our floors, making social events more social, in nature and not just "a bunch of Christians hanging out."
I've had a lot of good conversations this weekend. I think the most memorable was with Queenie, a Catholic friend of mine. She's made a decision to remain single until she's ready for commitment, and I very much admire that decision of hers, considering I've made a similar one at least for senior year, even if my reasons are different than hers are. I really made that decision sometime this summer, but her decision gives me encouragement to really stick with it. She's also leading a study with Newman Council on "What it means to be Catholic." I'm really interested in learning about Catholicism, as it has cropped up for me in several different contexts this summer. This launched us into a discussion about different denominations and such. Both of us are really interested in learning the differences between denominations and the history and everything. So I imagine there will be several good discussions between the two of us this coming year.
One thing that was hard to deal with was everyone talking about how great Mary Low was going to be this year. A lot of people are living in that dorm, and I really wanted to live there this year instead of being stuck in EQ for the third year in a row. Not even that, being stuck on the same side of EQ for three years is more like it. I have to keep reminding myself that there must be some purpose for me being here again. So we'll see what ends up happening on my floor this year. Christabel and Hui are down the hall, Nico and Francis are on the first floor, my brothers are on the ground floor, and I haven't wandered the third floor yet to see who else is there. And there are loads more people I know are living in this dorm too.
I got to see Hillary the other night too! I'm so excited to hang out with her more this year. I told her a bit about my summer....hehe, she's way too funny. Collegium is going to be fun. Too bad Ben's not doing it -- we'll just have fun without him. :-P
So yeah. Senior year. Between classes, church, music, and CCF, time is going to be a precious commodity. And I really want to strengthen some relationships and make time for people.
I'm sure there will be more to come later, but I should start getting ready for church!
I haven't had time to process the past few days. As soon as I got up to Waterville, I really felt like I wanted to go home. I started to have such mixed feelings about senior year. Mostly I felt drained -- I still do. I look at the year ahead and think to myself How in the world am I going to manage to pull this off? With God's help, surely.
Colby Christian Fellowship encourages me though. At first it was on my "draining" list, but from what's been happening and through conversations I've had with people, I think there's a lot of potential. There's a need for intimacy in the group that I think we were all aware of but no one had the courage to speak up on this issue until Patrick did Friday night. I unfortunately missed what he had to say, but I've talked to several people about what I missed and have a relatively clear picture of what he said. I also plan on talking to him directly. We talked about the need to be more vulnerable with each other. There should already be some level of trust, as we are all brothers and sisters in Christ -- we are all part of God's family. We should be able to share in each other's struggles, as well as in their joys.
On some level, this already exists, but mostly between those of us who know each other well. Those who know us well enough to push us for an answer about how we are doing when we gloss it over with a non-committal "fine." But here, it leads to clique-iness. I have always felt that there was an undefined "in" and "out" group in the fellowship, mostly among those who attend the same church. I think that this willingness to be vulnerable with each other is a step in the right direction.
So we'll see what God has in store. I know people want to "turn up the volume" a notch or two as far as our voice on campus is concerned. Not anything blatant, mind you. But supporting more speakers that we would agree with even if they aren't necessarily Christian, being more involved with people on our floors, making social events more social, in nature and not just "a bunch of Christians hanging out."
I've had a lot of good conversations this weekend. I think the most memorable was with Queenie, a Catholic friend of mine. She's made a decision to remain single until she's ready for commitment, and I very much admire that decision of hers, considering I've made a similar one at least for senior year, even if my reasons are different than hers are. I really made that decision sometime this summer, but her decision gives me encouragement to really stick with it. She's also leading a study with Newman Council on "What it means to be Catholic." I'm really interested in learning about Catholicism, as it has cropped up for me in several different contexts this summer. This launched us into a discussion about different denominations and such. Both of us are really interested in learning the differences between denominations and the history and everything. So I imagine there will be several good discussions between the two of us this coming year.
One thing that was hard to deal with was everyone talking about how great Mary Low was going to be this year. A lot of people are living in that dorm, and I really wanted to live there this year instead of being stuck in EQ for the third year in a row. Not even that, being stuck on the same side of EQ for three years is more like it. I have to keep reminding myself that there must be some purpose for me being here again. So we'll see what ends up happening on my floor this year. Christabel and Hui are down the hall, Nico and Francis are on the first floor, my brothers are on the ground floor, and I haven't wandered the third floor yet to see who else is there. And there are loads more people I know are living in this dorm too.
I got to see Hillary the other night too! I'm so excited to hang out with her more this year. I told her a bit about my summer....hehe, she's way too funny. Collegium is going to be fun. Too bad Ben's not doing it -- we'll just have fun without him. :-P
So yeah. Senior year. Between classes, church, music, and CCF, time is going to be a precious commodity. And I really want to strengthen some relationships and make time for people.
I'm sure there will be more to come later, but I should start getting ready for church!