Contemplation...

[mellamomadison]

After several conversations today, including one with the ex, I can honestly say that I'm happy with where my life is at right now. I like him. What else do you want me to say? Him as in CJ, not Tim. I love tim, I do love him a lot. But as a friend. He is my friend...has been my friend for 5 years now. Crazy, huh? But that's just it. Tim no longer could give me the feeling the CJ does. I know i'm a horrible person, I broke a guy's heart, etc. But really..for once in my life I'm being selfish. Its not that I dont care, but I dont care to the fact that I'm happy...for me. So that's life. For all of you guys friends with tim, I know he's out there calling me a whore, saying that i'm sleeping around or doing whatever. Just know that Tim knows nothing about my life. He thinks he knows exactly what i'm out doing, who i'm with, what i'm thinking. But, no. Sorry. If you guys were ever my friends you'd realize this. He's speaking out of hurt and anger, not facts. I hope you know this cause i'm sick of dealing with the drama that this is turning in to. Anyway. Classes start tomorrow which is upsetting, especially since I could've gone back to Vegas today. Whatever though...I need to stop spending money!!

Ps- Erika, you are fucking hilarious. The machine will always be in function so if you ever need any help with Dom, let me know..HA. all jokes of course ;)

:slurp: