'What You Wish For' Part III
Title: What You Wish For
Fandom: Labyrinth
Word Count: 29, 980
Rating: PG-13
Genre: General/Drama
Summary: Years after defeating the labyrinth, Sarah is still haunted by dreams of the Underground. She has tried to grow up and leave her childish fantasies behind her, but in sleep, she can't escape them, no matter how much she wants to -- or needs to.
Thanks to whydah and sapphistscot for beta-ing and helping shape the story.
When she reached the bottom of the hill, Sarah walked around the stone entrance of the labyrinth, looking for the way in. How had she gotten in last time? She couldn't see a door -- had there been one before? No -- no Hoggle had made the walls open for her, hadn't he? It was when she first met him. She cast her memory back, trying to remember, but the memories were vague and fuzzy. She had been a little overwhelmed and surprised by it all at that point, it hadn't quite seemed real yet, as if she had been somewhere outside her body, watching it happen to someone else. It hadn't been until she'd heard Toby, his cries echoing unnaturally close, all around her, that it had really sunk in -- it was real, it was really happening. And standing there, years later, she couldn't help but feel the same way. It was as if this was just another dream. It looked so familiar and yet, in so many ways, it was something entirely new. Her mind suddenly threw up a memory of when she had first come home for the Christmas holidays after being away at college, and driving through the town she had grown up in, everything looked just the way she had remembered and yet old stores had closed down and new ones had sprung up, and it was all completely different at the same time.
She shrugged off the thought quickly. She had only been in the labyrinth once before, even if she'd dreamed of it after, and she was never, never going to see it again after this so there was no point in trying to work out what was the same and what was different. All she needed to work out was how to get inside.
She frowned, concentrating on the memory, trying to recall all the details. They had been by a pond, she remembered that because Hoggle had been, well, relieving himself when she first met him. And he'd been spraying fairies. She remembered the righteous anger that had surged up in her, the cruel, ugly dwarf attacking the beautiful, defenceless little creatures. (Although the feeling had faded pretty quickly once one bit her.)
She ran around the wall, a few metres in each direction, trying to find the pond again, but there was no sign of it, or of where one had been. It was all dry, dusty sand everywhere she looked -- no plants, no water, just dirt. She sighed, pressing her lips together. Well, she knew the labyrinth could change things around, so maybe the pond had moved, but the way in still had to be around here somewhere. It had to be. She stood close to the wall, pressing her hands against the lichened stone to feel for an entrance, someplace where the stone indented or she could push it forward. Feeling nothing, she began to walk slowly around the wall, her hands trailing along it as she went, probing and prodding at it, but she couldn't find any sort of way in. Frustrated, she began to move faster, trying to move her hands higher and lower, trying to feel any sort of difference in the stone. She even doubled back and moved the other way, with the thought in her mind that it might be like trying to find the edge on a roll of sticky tape, but she still couldn't find anything. She walked around it for so long, growing more and more impatient, her feet already sore and threatening to blister, that she was beginning to think she'd walked the entire length of the whole damn labyrinth already. Eventually she gave a groan and wiped the dirt and moss off her jeans, kicking at the wall in frustration. How much time had passed already and she wasn't even in yet? This was useless! Although, maybe -- maybe it was part of the game. Maybe it was one of Jareth's dirty tricks, maybe you couldn't find the way in unless you lived in the labyrinth or something. Oh, that would be just like Jareth, to make an unsolvable puzzle! She hadn't been able to find the entrance last time, either, and if Hoggle hadn't been there...
But -- Hoggle had been there. Just when she was feeling like giving up, just when she was wishing for someone to help her. (Just like now.) If it was true, if she really could control this place...
She swallowed dryly and looked around, concentrating on Hoggle, wanting him to appear, but nothing happened. Squeezing her eyes shut, Sarah concentrated on the memory of his face -- the big nose, the warts, the wrinkles -- and tried to will him there. She opened her eyes again, almost hopefully, but she was still alone. Should she say something? Like an incantation? But, no, she hadn't said anything last time. If she had really done it last time, it had been subconscious. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, feeling foolish, then -- thinking it was worth a try at least -- she began to shout. 'Hoggle! HOGGLE! Is somebody there?'
She stood still, straining her ears for an answer but all she could hear was her voice echoing. If anyone was there, if anyone could hear her, they weren't answering. No, if she was going to find a way into the labyrinth, she would have to do it herself.
She looked up at the wall with trepidation. How tall was it? Eight feet? Ten? Tall enough that this wasn't going to be easy anyway. Resolving herself to it, Sarah stepped forward and, reaching up, found a stone in the wall with a gap she could -- just -- get a grip on. Holding it with both hands, she felt along with her foot until she found an edge she could step on, and hoisted herself up. The stone was uneven and slippery with moss and lichen, but Sarah eventually worked her way up to the top of the wall and threw a leg over, sitting atop it for a moment as she struggled to catch her breath.
And then she looked down at the other side. A wave of vertigo suddenly hit her and she clung desperately onto the wall, gasping. While she was only ten or so feet above the ground on the wall outside the labyrinth, she was easily three times that above the other side. Peering through the thinner patches of mist that rolled through the maze beneath her, she could scarcely see the ground. 'That's... That's not possible!' she gasped, gripping tightly onto the wall.
She clung on to the stone, her fingers white with the pressure. If she slipped now, if she lost her balance... Her stomach squirmed with the knowledge of what she had to do. Finally, with a deep breath, Sarah held her grip on the wall and swung both her legs over the edge, feeling for secure footing. She blinked, surprised, when her foot touched on solid ground. Gingerly, she set both her feet on it, testing it with more and more weight until she finally let go of the wall. Turning around, she saw that she was standing on the ground and the walls around her suddenly seemed very tall again.
She stood, staring around in amazement for a moment. She remembered, with a quiet smile, what the little worm had told her: 'Things aren't always what they seem in this place.'
Thinking back on the hidden ways out of the seemingly endless corridor that the worm had showed her, Sarah moved quickly and, feeling along the walls, she almost immediately found a passageway. Even up close, it looked like a solid brick wall but it led out into a large stone maze. Sarah felt a pang of anxiety as she remembered the dream she had had about this part of the labyrinth, the walls closing in on her, and she moved quickly, trying not to think about it.
--
How many hours had she been trapped in here last time, she wondered? However much time she had already lost trying to get inside the maze, she could probably make up for by just remembering that this part of the maze moved -- a lot. There was no point trying to find a pattern or work out a path, the walls transformed, joining together and pulling apart behind her back. The knowledge made her uneasy, but she tried to push the memories of her dream out of her mind.
Suddenly, the wall in front of her pulled back like an automated door, and an old man, his head bowed down, shuffled towards her. He carried a splintering cane, a long white beard flowed from his chin, and he wore a live bird on his head as a hat. Sarah recognised him as the Wiseman she had met before, the one she had given her ring to in exchange for advice on how to solve the labyrinth. As the walls changed around her again, dust rising from the ground as they moved, she felt an uneasy prickle twinge down her back and decided to approach him again.
'Excuse me, do you know the way to the castle at the center of the labyrinth?'
He stopped, blinking, and looked around, as if he was surprised to hear a voice other than his bird's.
'Oh,' he said after a moment. 'A young girl!'
'Yes,' she answered. He was an older man, she reasoned, and maybe he hadn't heard her very well. She spoke a little louder this time: 'Do you know the way to the castle at the center of the labyrinth from here?'
He used his cane to push himself up a little straighter and, after adjusting his robes for a long moment, said: 'So -- what can I do for you, young lady?'
Sarah, near shouting, said again: 'How do I get to the castle?'
'The castle?' he answered, drawling the word slowly as if savouring every syllable.
'Yes.'
'You want to get to the castle?'
'Yes!'
'Well, young lady, you will find it at the center of the labyrinth,' he announced, pleased with himself.
Sarah stared at him, aghast. The bird perched on top of his head, leaned over and squawked, 'She knows that, you ninny!'
'She what?' the old man asked, blinking in confusion.
'She already knows the castle is in the center of the labyrinth!'
'Then what's she asking me for?' the old man cried, throwing his hands up in the air. Grasping his cane, he began to hobble away, muttering about 'the youth of today' under his breath.
Sarah watched him go, astounded. He had seemed like a Wiseman when she was younger, some kind of omniscient sage like there was in every fairy tale. Somebody who simply knew everything because you needed them to. Maybe he wasn't that clever after all -- maybe he never had been. Maybe she had seen it in him because she'd wanted to. Or needed to.
With a sigh of disgust (at him or at herself, she didn't really know), Sarah began to walk on.
--
It was difficult to tell how far she had walked within this part of the maze, as the stone constantly fluxed and changed around her -- she didn't really walk with any direction, she just walked, trying to find anything familiar, anything that looked like a way out. She didn't know if it had been minutes or hours until she found something else she recognised: the walls pulled back to reveal two tall doors, decorated with large, intricate door-knockers, sunken into the stone at the end of the path. She had seen them before, although they had been in a different part of the labyrinth last time, and she ran towards them, eager to leave the changing stone maze. They looked just as she remembered; grotesque bronze faces, scowling down at her from the solid wooden doors. She stood in front of them, hesitating, before reaching up a hand to pull on the large bronze ring one held in its mouth. It had told her last time 'knock, and the door will open'. But nothing happened. She tried again, bringing it back down forcibly, and, when nothing happened, she moved across to the other door, knocking on that. She frowned.
'Um -- excuse me?'
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, waiting for a response, but the door-knocker stared back at her, unmoving.
'I... I need to get through the door.' Nothing. She blushed, feeling foolish for talking to a door. Somewhere, in the back of her consciousness, she knew that door-knockers couldn't talk. She knew that inanimate objects were just that -- inanimate. They couldn't think, and move, and answer, even if she needed them to.
'Are you talking to me?'
The voice had come from behind her. Sarah whirled around, but there was nobody there. Uneasy, she peered around the corridor, trying to find the speaker. It was only when the voice came again -- 'Over here!' -- that she saw him, the little blue worm she had met before, sitting in a groove in the wall.
'Oh, no. I -- I need to get through these doors but--'
'They won't open.' It was a different voice -- thick with an accent she didn't recognise and a distinct note of amusement -- and it was directly in her ear. She clumsily tried to turn to see the speaker and step back from him at the same time, tripping back into the wall.
An old man stood in front of her, a long hooded cloak shadowing his face. She couldn't see his expression as he spoke: 'It's past the fourth hour. What's a young girl doing out in the labyrinth, all alone? Defenceless? Why -- anything might happen.'
There was a sharp edge to his tone that worried her, but she hesitatingly answered: 'I need to get to the castle at the center of the labyrinth.'
'Do you really?'
'Why won't the doors open?' Her voice sounded small.
'They only open if you want them to.'
'Well, I do want them to and they're not opening!'
'He's right, you know,' the little worm called beside her. Nodding towards the door-knocker with the brass ring through its ears, he continued: 'He's usually a mile a minute. Only thing that'd keep him quiet would be if someone running the labyrinth didn't want him to talk. The doors can only open if the knockers are awake.'
'Obviously,' the old man said, 'the labyrinth can sense that you don't really want to leave this place and so it's keeping you here. Making all your wishes come true.' She could hear the sneer in his tone although she couldn't see his face.
'Well, there must be another way out!' she cried.
A crystal orb appeared beneath the long sleeves of the old man's cloak and he threw it forward. Sarah quickly leapt out of the way, thinking at first he was throwing it at her, but it struck the wall at the end of the corridor and smashed, revealing two doors and the guards she had met the last time she had been in the labyrinth. She whirled back around to see Jareth leaning against one wall where the old man had stood, the cloak discarded at his feet, watching her with amusement.
'You.'
'Me,' he grinned.
'Your Majesty!' the little worm cried, astonished. 'What an honour! May I offer you a cup of tea? The missus makes the best brew in the Underground, I dare say!'
Jareth ignored him, his eyes locked on Sarah.
'Why are you helping me?' Sarah asked suspiciously.
'The gratitude you give me so abundantly is all the reward I need,' he said, his tone packed with sarcasm.
'But if I make it to the castle at the center of the labyrinth, then I win,' she said, watching him warily.
'If you find the crystal then I'll send you home, that was the agreement,' he corrected. 'But I'll win either way. If you don't find the crystal, then you become my subject, for me to do whatever I please with, and if you do find the crystal, then I gain the power over you to return you to your own world and I never have to see you again. Frankly, I'd be happy with either option.'
At his words, something seemed to click into place inside her head. 'Wait.' She looked at him, her nostrils flaring. 'If I win, you gain power over me?'
He looked at her, expressionless. 'That was part of our agreement, yes.'
'No! We agreed that you would stop me coming here at night!'
'Yes,' he said offhand, as blasé as if he were discussing the weather. 'By taking the power off you. Stripping away your powers gives me control over you, Sarah, it's simple mathematics.'
'Are you saying you can only stop this thing, this power, if you have control over me?'
He smiled as if genuinely delighted that she had finally worked it out.
'So whether I win or lose,' she continued vehemently, 'you still have power over me?' She glared at him, letting out an indignant snort. 'No, no way. Game's over. I'm not doing this.'
'If you choose to forfeit the challenge,' he said, taunting, 'then I win by default.'
'That wasn't in our agreement!'
'Oh, Sarah, that's in every agreement.'
'But -- that's not fair!' she cried, ignoring his derisive laugh.
'Should you win,' he smiled dangerously, 'you will cede your powers to me, and you will no longer have the ability to call upon the goblins or return to the Underground. We, however, will have the ability to visit you; our roles reversed. But you can rest assured,' his smile turned into a sharp, degrading look, 'that I shall have no desire to see your arrogant little face again, so you needn't worry on that account.'
'Oh, I'm arrogant?' she cried.
'Quite.'
She opened her mouth to say -- or scream -- something at him, but he waved his hand dismissively to silence her. 'I believe myself far above stealing young girls away in the night, if that is your concern.'
'You steal babies!' she cried over the top of him.
'I take the children I am asked to take,' he corrected, 'as it is my duty to do so. I said no harm will come to you, and it won't. Really, Sarah, when are you going to begin trusting me?'
She glared at him, struggling to think of a retort but he just gave her an infuriating smile and disappeared. She growled lowly and -- ignoring the little worm's reprimands for talking in such a manner to the king -- marched back towards the door guards, who were sniggering behind their shields.
She folded her arms, watching them warily. They looked just as she had remembered -- heads on the top and bottom, like a face card, and three pairs of hands each. The last time, they had given her a riddle, telling her one door led to the castle and the other led to certain death. She had no way of knowing which was which except by asking them, but one told the truth and one lied, and she could only ask them one question to find out which door to take. It had seemed like an unsolvable riddle back then. How could you establish who was lying when you only had one question? How could you trust which door to take? She had remembered a similar puzzle in a story she had read about a forked road leading to Paradise on one path and Hell on the other; she had never been able to figure it out, sitting in her bedroom idly reading the book, but when she was placed in the situation, when she was faced with the gravity of it all, it suddenly seemed to make sense. She had been so proud of herself when she worked it out, so confident in herself -- and she could do it again, she was sure. Jareth had promised not to hurt her, so neither door could lead to certain death -- she just had to think logically and she'd work it out.
She stood, watching the guards for a moment as she waited for them to tell her the rules; instead, they giggled behind their shields, glancing at her shyly.
Finally, she spoke first: 'What am I supposed to do?'
'Oh, is it a riddle?' one of them, the head poking out of the bottom of the red shield, asked.
'We're meant to ask her the riddle, Alph!' the one in blue answered, a hand reaching out to shove him.
'You never let me have any fun!' Alph griped, pushing him back.
'We're meant to be working!' Alph's top head reprimanded.
'We're always working!' the bottom head whined.
'Well, it's our job,' the one in blue snapped.
'We don't get paid!'
They began to slap at each other, top and bottom heads shouting at each other, trying to hit clumsily over their shields. Sarah stood, awkward. After a moment, she cleared her throat loudly enough to catch their attention. They turned to face her for a moment, the heads on top looking exasperated, the ones on the bottom out of breath. Before she could speak, the one in blue reached over and poked the red guard and the fighting broke out all over again.
'Hey!' Sarah cried, running over to separate them. 'Look -- just, tell me how to get through these doors.'
'Well, first you need to turn the handle,' the top head of one in blue answered sarcastically.
'Ralph! You're meant to give her the riddle!'
'I gave the riddle last time!'
'No you didn't, you liar!'
'You do it!'
'No!'
'Why not?'
'I don't know it!'
'We've been telling it for fifty years, how can you not know it?'
'Not that riddle!'
'We don't know any more riddles!'
'I don't even know the first riddle!'
'But she's the one that was here before; we can't give her the same riddle!'
Sarah had lost track of which head was talking now. She leapt out of the way as Alph began to beat the handle of his spear down on Ralph's head. Ralph's bottom head retaliated by biting at Alph's knees as Alph tried to aim a kick at Ralph's backside. She stood back, watching them for a moment, not sure what to do. They were like bickering children, siblings fighting over the slightest thing. She tried to call their attention back a few times, but they were more interested in fighting with each other than giving the riddle now. Eventually, she stepped over them and crossed over to Ralph's door. Was this the one she had chosen before? She hoped so. Quickly, she swung it open and jumped out of the way, holding her breath as she waited for something terrible to happen. When nothing did, she cautiously walked through on tip-toe. The door slammed shut behind her -- she could hear a muffled ruckus, as if Alph and Ralph had rolled straight into it -- and she carried on. She couldn't believe it. They had seemed so intimidating before -- a life-or-death enigma -- and now... Now they were acting like children! How could things be so different this time around? Alph and Ralph were infantile, and the Wiseman was just a crochety old man... She would be almost grateful for Jareth to take away her memories of the labyrinth now. He was ruining them all anyway.
--
At the end of the passageway was a dark forest. The trees were thick and close together, and it didn't look as if much light made it through the branches. Sarah's feet ached as she trudged her way through, trying to see the castle on the horizon through the darkness. She stepped carefully, watching where she went and trying not to make too much noise. The last time she had been in one of the forests of the labyrinth, the Fire Gang had appeared and had endeavoured to take her head off -- she didn't really feel up to meeting them again. Although, she frowned, her last time running the labyrinth, she had met a lot of interesting creatures, good and bad. And -- she'd made friends. Hoggle hadn't been at the entrance this time, and although she'd seen the door-guards and the so-called Wiseman, they were the only people she had seen. Last time, the maze had been full of goblins, soliders soldiers, talking door-knockers... This time, the only person she'd really met so far was Jareth. And... he was the King here. Was it possible that he was... preventing anyone from helping her? Or -- could he be punishing her friends for helping her last time? He'd said something about losing some respect after she beat him before and he had seemed angry -- could he be retaliating by punishing the people who had helped her? Could he have thrown them in oubilettes, or the Bog of Stench, or could he have...?
She bit down on her lip, trying not to think of the things he could have done. Just because she hadn't seen her friends didn't mean they were in any sort of trouble -- did it? In all the dreams she'd had, she'd never seen them. And it had been years since she'd called for them in her mirror. Anything could have happened to them, and she had no way of knowing about it. And, worst of all, it would be her fault.
She swallowed, wishing they were there, wishing she could talk to them, or that she had made an effort to talk to them before, in her mirror. She'd had her reasons not to, of course; she thought that the more she thought about it during the day, the more weight she put to her experience in the labyrinth, the less of a chance she would have to stop the dreams. But still -- they were her friends, and she had pushed them out of her life. And now--
A twig snapped loudly somewhere to her left, and Sarah froze, frightened. She had been walking for hours and the woods had been quiet until now -- she hadn't even heard the buzz of an insect. Without realising it, Sarah held her breath and peered into the dark trees around her, trying to make out a shape, a creature, hoping it was a friendly one. There was a rustle of dry leaves behind her and she turned again, standing awkward and stiff and she tried to see who, or what, was moving. The next noise came to her immediate left -- oh God, it was right beside her! She screamed as hands grabbed at her. She could feel something pulling at her legs, ripping through the seams of her jeans, grappling for flesh. She kicked out, trying to shake it off, and a voice reprimanded, 'Hey lady! What you do that for?'
'He wurn't hurtin' nobody!'
'We just wanna play!'
She gasped and looked down -- she was surrounded by a group of tiny red and orange creatures, no bigger than mice, and as they climbed up her shoes, swung onto her shins and her knees, she recognised the grinning faces of the Fire Gang.
'You!' she cried, trying to shake one off her leg.
'It's us, baby,' declared the fiery dangling from her elbow.
'And look, it's you, too!' another one cackled.
'But -- but you're tiny!' She tried to move around them, careful not to step on any of them as they grasped for her ankles, pulling at her socks and shoelaces.
'Ain't you got no manners?'
'They don't let you say "tiny" no more, you gotta say "not that big"!'
'Nobody never told you that size don't matter?'
'It's not what you got, it's how you use it!'
'Yeah, we know how to use it!'
They let out a collective laugh. Sarah stared at them, shocked. When she had met the Fire Gang before, they had been almost as tall as her and -- juggling their heads and pulling off their limbs and switching body parts -- they had seemed big and bold and intimidating. She didn't understand how they could be so different now. For a wild moment, Sarah thought she must have grown much taller -- like Alice in Wonderland -- and she frantically tried to remember if she'd eaten anything, but no, she hadn't eaten since she had come here. Looking down at them, Sarah realised she wasn't any bigger than before, they were smaller.
They were about the same size as the field mice her dad had found in the basement one fall. She remembered being so upset when Irene took it upon herself to catch them in traps -- 'Oh for goodness' sake, they're humane, Sarah! -- because, in the back of her mind, the mice had brought her one step closer to the pumpkin carriage, and the fairy godmother, and Prince Charming. She had, truthfully, seen it as an infestation. She had hated the scurrying noises and the holes bitten through the boxes of her mother's old clothes (although, she had reasoned at the time, if Irene hadn't insisted on putting Mom's clothes down there in the first place, it wouldn't have happened) but getting rid of them was just one more imaginary hurt from her step-mother, another thing she had done just to spite her.
Sarah was shocked out of her line of thought when a hand grabbed at the loose material around her knee and yanked hard, trying to bring her down to the ground. It didn't work, she was too heavy, but she heard a distinct tearing noise and another bout of laughter. She moved to swat them away and was surprised to find, not one set of hands, but several. Standing on the forest floor, the Fireys had all taken off their arms and put together a haphazard pole, with fingers clutching elbows, to reach her. She blinked in amazement -- they had terrified her before, pulling out their own eyeballs, stretching out their tongues, ripping off their heads. But now, watching them stand armless as they tried to guide a shaft of squirming hands and what she suspected were feet, it seemed almost laughable. Looking down at them as they scrambled about her feet, Sarah remembered what Jareth had said about the creatures of the labyrinth taking form from her own thoughts and wondered if she had made them this way, if her subconscious mind was making them seem so small. Was it like a dream, a real dream? Was the labyrinth sending her subliminal messages? After all, they had seemed so big, and strong, and scary before -- scratching at her face, tugging at her hair, chasing her, intent on taking off her head -- and now... It was as if the problems of her youth were smaller and less significant now -- like heated, blown up arguments over field mice -- and maybe they were. She had grown up a lot since she was last here. And soon she would be able to put it all behind her, once and for all.
With renewed confidence, Sarah stepped over the Fireys and walked on. Within a few steps, she was too far ahead for them to catch up with her, and she didn't look back. Their shouts and cries soon faded into nothing, but the thought still haunted her: if all of this was taken subliminally from her mind, if everything meant something, what did it all mean?
--