The (graphic, of course) birth story of our dear Addy
As the title says, it is graphic and full of TMI stuff, so read at your own risk. :)
So Sunday 10/20 was a day filled with me feeling quite sick all day. I couldn't get myself to eat anything, and was very nauseous all day long. I felt somewhere inside that this might be the start of labor for me, for no apparent reason, but had no evidence to back that up.
Around 8pm, I started having contractions (not very strong ones) about 5 minutes apart. We watched a movie, and then when it was over, paged the midwives to see what they said about it. They told me to take a bath and try to rest and see if they went away.
The bath was ok, but I couldn't get any sleep afterwards (unlike Paul), because the contractions were still coming. Around 3am they were between 2 and 4 minutes apart. I decided to try one last time to get some sleep, and this time I managed.
But not for long. I woke up at around 4am to my water breaking. Managed to not make a huge mess on the bed, thankfully, but got Paul up and told him it was definitely the day. While sitting there talking to him about it, I also puked (sorry for the graphic details) more than I thought humanly possible, which made me feel soooooo much better. He called the midwives who said they would be on their way. He tried to call our doula, but couldn't get hold of her. He called my mom and got her to come get Ally (and Kelly, so she had somewhere to rest until she went in to work that wasn't quite so hectic).
My contractions had gotten less frequent after the water broke, but a lot more intense. I could still talk through them ok, but I didn't really want to. I tried instead to focus on my breathing, as well as doing a bit of moaning through them, which actually helped. I was very focused during them, and trying to direct people to get everything done between them.
Paul got the tub all set up, and the midwives arrived (my favorite of the 4, plus the assistant). Started filling the tub, which seemed like it took forever. Still not able to get hold of the doula on the phone.
I don't remember what time we finally got the tub filled, but as soon as it was, I got inside it. It felt nice, and the contractions were very intense but still very manageable at that point. Not too long after that, around 7:30, we finally got the doula on the phone (which had apparently died on her, thus her not answering) and she came over.
Not too much after she got there, the back labor started. *That* was when things got rough for me. I pretty much couldn't get through a contraction without someone giving me counter pressure on my lower back, which only helped a little. It was, frankly, miserable. The contractions themselves I think I could have handled, but coupled with the super intense back pain, I didn't think I would make it. After pretty much every single contraction, I looked Paul or a midwife in the eyes and told them I didn't think I could do it any more. They were awesome though, and kept telling me that I *was* doing it, and that I was doing a great job at it to boot.
Somewhere in there, another midwife arrived (they have 2 once things pick up). I had a feeling I was in "transition," just from the intensity change, even though they never checked me for dilation. I got through it, one contraction at a time. I was ok during, although moaning and groaning loudly, but it was the split second after it ended that it was the worst, cuz I got this panic feeling of "I absolutely cannot go through that another time."
I did though, of course, over and over again. Eventually, after what felt like forever, they told me I should try the vocalization with my mouth open and my chin down, which helped get me to the point of feeling like pushing pretty quickly. Oh, pretty much the entire time I was in the tub, I was on hands and knees and sort of rocking around my hips during the contractions.
So I started to grunt and push a bit with contractions at that point. Not much, and not terribly effectively yet, but it was something. Pooped a bit, of course, but I expected that so it didn't really bother me. After a bit of this, the midwives decided it would be best if I got out and tried a different position for a while, which I didn't want to do because I don't like to change things up when I am doing something a certain way, but I agreed to try.
First they had me try sitting backwards on the toilet and leaning forward, which I immediately hated. I didn't feel like I could be in quite a good position that way, and it made me very grumpy trying. I only went one contraction that way, and complained all the way through it. After that, I pushed myself off of it and onto the bathroom floor on my knees. This wasn't comfortable either, because the floor was hard and I was wet from the tub, so it was slippery too.
So after one contraction like that, they had me move back to the living room. They had hubby sitting in a fold up chair, and I squatted between his legs, my arms holding myself up basically on his legs. I could slouch and sit between contractions this way, and during I would hold myself up and push, and hubby would bend over and do the counter pressure which I still desperately needed.
The position was actually quite nice, and I enjoyed pushing this way. It also helped, as the midwives noticed an almost immediate difference in the effectiveness of the pushing. It wasn't long before they could see the head starting to make its way out. This meant I could also *feel* that, and the stretch was tremendously uncomfortable between contractions when I couldn't push to help.
They held warm compresses up on me during this time, which definitely helped with that stretching sensation, although it of course didn't completely make the pain go away. About this time was the first time in hours that I really didn't notice the back pain anymore, because the stretching pain and the pushing was all that was on my mind.
One or two more contractions later and her head stayed put and didn't move back in between contractions, which meant it would only be one or two more pushes before it was out. It hurt badly waiting for the next one, but I was excited as well because I now knew for sure that it really *was* almost over.
On the next contraction, I pushed, and then heard them say that they head was out. I truly did not believe them at first, because that had seemed entirely too easy. I thought that the last shove of getting the head fully out was going to be horrible, but it really wasn't bad at all. So then it was just waiting until the next one so I could push her the rest of the way out. The shoulders were no trouble at all, really, then she slithered out and was on my chest finally. (Which I had been begging to happen for hours, lol).
Her cord was kinda short, so I couldn't hold her as well as I would have liked, but holding her was pure bliss anyway. The midwives got my birth blanket (a blanket, 2 sheets, and a thick piece of plastic sheeting all stitched together to go underneath me at any time to collect any messes and be thrown out afterwards) onto the couch, and helped me carry the baby over to it to rest.
Hubby got behind me and we just cuddled for a good long while as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. It finally did, and hubby cut it. Not long after, I felt crampy and they told me I could push the placenta out, so I did with no troubles. Somewhere in that time she started nursing, so we let her do that. She did for quite a long time, and I felt bad cuz hubby hadn't even gotten to hold her yet, but we didn't want to have her stop, so he just had to wait.
Finally she finished nursing and hubby got to hold her and I got to rest up a bit, which was nice. Somewhere in there they did the first blood sugar test on her, since I had gestational diabetes, and she passed just fine (as well as all of the rest of them, so I think she is basically cleared as good for that worry, which is great).
At some point I asked if I had torn, and to my surprise they said yes. I really thought I hadn't this time, since it really didn't hurt that bad getting her out, but it turns out I probably tore along my old tear from last time, which is unfortunate. They pulled out the pull out bed from the couch so they could examine it more closely to see how bad it was. Unfortunately, it was pretty bad. They couldn't decide if it was 3rd degree or just a really bad 2nd degree, and the midwife there who would normally repair it decided that either way it was too bad for her to do, so they called in one of the other midwives who has vast experience with pretty bad tear repair.
While we were waiting on her, my parents came over with Ally to meet the new baby, which was fun. Ally was all grins until she got bored of it all, lol. Dad acted like he was scared to hold her, which was pretty funny. They didn't stay long, since they obviously didn't want to be there to watch me be sewn up, hehe.
The more experienced midwife (and a student that was with her that day) finally got there, and I got assessed again. She decided that it was still considered 2nd degree, although severe, and that she could definitely stitch it up at home, which was awesome, since I didn't really want to go in to the hospital just to be stitched up.
The needle full of numbing stuff was by far the worst part of it all. It hurt quite badly, and since the tear was so bad she had to use a lot of it, so lots of pokes. Once I was numb though, the stitching wasn't so bad, just uncomfortable and long. Once it was finally done though, the midwives gave last minute instructions on stuff and then left us to rest, which we did, napping on the couch all together.
I am healing up now and trying to rest as much as I can, although kiddo cried most of the night last night except when she was eating, which meant I didn't sleep much. She finally fell asleep good around 5:30, which gave me a few solid hours to sleep though, which was great. The afterbirth cramps are definitely worse this time around, which I was told to expect, but they are better today than yesterday. The midwives also explicitly said that I was to be waited on hand and foot for at least the next week so that I can heal up my bad tear, which is nice of them. :)
We get a visit at home from them on days 1 (today), 3, and 10 to check up on me and the baby, and the doula does a home visit on day 5 as well, so lots of follow up care, which is great. Baby seems to be latching and eating pretty well so far, which is good. Plan on having a home visit from a lactation consultant as soon as we can as well, just to check up on things.
Well, that is the story of my beautiful home birth experience. I don't think I would change a thing about this time around, which is a great feeling. Such a different experience than last time, and very empowering. I am woman, hear me roar and all that, lol. I highly recommend it to anyone interested, it was truly a great experience to be able to labor and birth in my own space on my own terms. I feel fairly sure that if I had done this in a hospital, even with midwives and a tub, I would have caved and gotten pain meds for the back pain, so I am so glad I was at home where it wasn't even an option. No regrets. :)
So Sunday 10/20 was a day filled with me feeling quite sick all day. I couldn't get myself to eat anything, and was very nauseous all day long. I felt somewhere inside that this might be the start of labor for me, for no apparent reason, but had no evidence to back that up.
Around 8pm, I started having contractions (not very strong ones) about 5 minutes apart. We watched a movie, and then when it was over, paged the midwives to see what they said about it. They told me to take a bath and try to rest and see if they went away.
The bath was ok, but I couldn't get any sleep afterwards (unlike Paul), because the contractions were still coming. Around 3am they were between 2 and 4 minutes apart. I decided to try one last time to get some sleep, and this time I managed.
But not for long. I woke up at around 4am to my water breaking. Managed to not make a huge mess on the bed, thankfully, but got Paul up and told him it was definitely the day. While sitting there talking to him about it, I also puked (sorry for the graphic details) more than I thought humanly possible, which made me feel soooooo much better. He called the midwives who said they would be on their way. He tried to call our doula, but couldn't get hold of her. He called my mom and got her to come get Ally (and Kelly, so she had somewhere to rest until she went in to work that wasn't quite so hectic).
My contractions had gotten less frequent after the water broke, but a lot more intense. I could still talk through them ok, but I didn't really want to. I tried instead to focus on my breathing, as well as doing a bit of moaning through them, which actually helped. I was very focused during them, and trying to direct people to get everything done between them.
Paul got the tub all set up, and the midwives arrived (my favorite of the 4, plus the assistant). Started filling the tub, which seemed like it took forever. Still not able to get hold of the doula on the phone.
I don't remember what time we finally got the tub filled, but as soon as it was, I got inside it. It felt nice, and the contractions were very intense but still very manageable at that point. Not too long after that, around 7:30, we finally got the doula on the phone (which had apparently died on her, thus her not answering) and she came over.
Not too much after she got there, the back labor started. *That* was when things got rough for me. I pretty much couldn't get through a contraction without someone giving me counter pressure on my lower back, which only helped a little. It was, frankly, miserable. The contractions themselves I think I could have handled, but coupled with the super intense back pain, I didn't think I would make it. After pretty much every single contraction, I looked Paul or a midwife in the eyes and told them I didn't think I could do it any more. They were awesome though, and kept telling me that I *was* doing it, and that I was doing a great job at it to boot.
Somewhere in there, another midwife arrived (they have 2 once things pick up). I had a feeling I was in "transition," just from the intensity change, even though they never checked me for dilation. I got through it, one contraction at a time. I was ok during, although moaning and groaning loudly, but it was the split second after it ended that it was the worst, cuz I got this panic feeling of "I absolutely cannot go through that another time."
I did though, of course, over and over again. Eventually, after what felt like forever, they told me I should try the vocalization with my mouth open and my chin down, which helped get me to the point of feeling like pushing pretty quickly. Oh, pretty much the entire time I was in the tub, I was on hands and knees and sort of rocking around my hips during the contractions.
So I started to grunt and push a bit with contractions at that point. Not much, and not terribly effectively yet, but it was something. Pooped a bit, of course, but I expected that so it didn't really bother me. After a bit of this, the midwives decided it would be best if I got out and tried a different position for a while, which I didn't want to do because I don't like to change things up when I am doing something a certain way, but I agreed to try.
First they had me try sitting backwards on the toilet and leaning forward, which I immediately hated. I didn't feel like I could be in quite a good position that way, and it made me very grumpy trying. I only went one contraction that way, and complained all the way through it. After that, I pushed myself off of it and onto the bathroom floor on my knees. This wasn't comfortable either, because the floor was hard and I was wet from the tub, so it was slippery too.
So after one contraction like that, they had me move back to the living room. They had hubby sitting in a fold up chair, and I squatted between his legs, my arms holding myself up basically on his legs. I could slouch and sit between contractions this way, and during I would hold myself up and push, and hubby would bend over and do the counter pressure which I still desperately needed.
The position was actually quite nice, and I enjoyed pushing this way. It also helped, as the midwives noticed an almost immediate difference in the effectiveness of the pushing. It wasn't long before they could see the head starting to make its way out. This meant I could also *feel* that, and the stretch was tremendously uncomfortable between contractions when I couldn't push to help.
They held warm compresses up on me during this time, which definitely helped with that stretching sensation, although it of course didn't completely make the pain go away. About this time was the first time in hours that I really didn't notice the back pain anymore, because the stretching pain and the pushing was all that was on my mind.
One or two more contractions later and her head stayed put and didn't move back in between contractions, which meant it would only be one or two more pushes before it was out. It hurt badly waiting for the next one, but I was excited as well because I now knew for sure that it really *was* almost over.
On the next contraction, I pushed, and then heard them say that they head was out. I truly did not believe them at first, because that had seemed entirely too easy. I thought that the last shove of getting the head fully out was going to be horrible, but it really wasn't bad at all. So then it was just waiting until the next one so I could push her the rest of the way out. The shoulders were no trouble at all, really, then she slithered out and was on my chest finally. (Which I had been begging to happen for hours, lol).
Her cord was kinda short, so I couldn't hold her as well as I would have liked, but holding her was pure bliss anyway. The midwives got my birth blanket (a blanket, 2 sheets, and a thick piece of plastic sheeting all stitched together to go underneath me at any time to collect any messes and be thrown out afterwards) onto the couch, and helped me carry the baby over to it to rest.
Hubby got behind me and we just cuddled for a good long while as we waited for the cord to stop pulsing. It finally did, and hubby cut it. Not long after, I felt crampy and they told me I could push the placenta out, so I did with no troubles. Somewhere in that time she started nursing, so we let her do that. She did for quite a long time, and I felt bad cuz hubby hadn't even gotten to hold her yet, but we didn't want to have her stop, so he just had to wait.
Finally she finished nursing and hubby got to hold her and I got to rest up a bit, which was nice. Somewhere in there they did the first blood sugar test on her, since I had gestational diabetes, and she passed just fine (as well as all of the rest of them, so I think she is basically cleared as good for that worry, which is great).
At some point I asked if I had torn, and to my surprise they said yes. I really thought I hadn't this time, since it really didn't hurt that bad getting her out, but it turns out I probably tore along my old tear from last time, which is unfortunate. They pulled out the pull out bed from the couch so they could examine it more closely to see how bad it was. Unfortunately, it was pretty bad. They couldn't decide if it was 3rd degree or just a really bad 2nd degree, and the midwife there who would normally repair it decided that either way it was too bad for her to do, so they called in one of the other midwives who has vast experience with pretty bad tear repair.
While we were waiting on her, my parents came over with Ally to meet the new baby, which was fun. Ally was all grins until she got bored of it all, lol. Dad acted like he was scared to hold her, which was pretty funny. They didn't stay long, since they obviously didn't want to be there to watch me be sewn up, hehe.
The more experienced midwife (and a student that was with her that day) finally got there, and I got assessed again. She decided that it was still considered 2nd degree, although severe, and that she could definitely stitch it up at home, which was awesome, since I didn't really want to go in to the hospital just to be stitched up.
The needle full of numbing stuff was by far the worst part of it all. It hurt quite badly, and since the tear was so bad she had to use a lot of it, so lots of pokes. Once I was numb though, the stitching wasn't so bad, just uncomfortable and long. Once it was finally done though, the midwives gave last minute instructions on stuff and then left us to rest, which we did, napping on the couch all together.
I am healing up now and trying to rest as much as I can, although kiddo cried most of the night last night except when she was eating, which meant I didn't sleep much. She finally fell asleep good around 5:30, which gave me a few solid hours to sleep though, which was great. The afterbirth cramps are definitely worse this time around, which I was told to expect, but they are better today than yesterday. The midwives also explicitly said that I was to be waited on hand and foot for at least the next week so that I can heal up my bad tear, which is nice of them. :)
We get a visit at home from them on days 1 (today), 3, and 10 to check up on me and the baby, and the doula does a home visit on day 5 as well, so lots of follow up care, which is great. Baby seems to be latching and eating pretty well so far, which is good. Plan on having a home visit from a lactation consultant as soon as we can as well, just to check up on things.
Well, that is the story of my beautiful home birth experience. I don't think I would change a thing about this time around, which is a great feeling. Such a different experience than last time, and very empowering. I am woman, hear me roar and all that, lol. I highly recommend it to anyone interested, it was truly a great experience to be able to labor and birth in my own space on my own terms. I feel fairly sure that if I had done this in a hospital, even with midwives and a tub, I would have caved and gotten pain meds for the back pain, so I am so glad I was at home where it wasn't even an option. No regrets. :)