(no subject)
wow. ive got classes, a dorm room, a roomate. 3 days of college behind me, 525600x4 years of minutes more to go, and im already tweaking out.
ive got a laptop, a car on its way out, and a really really messy room
im never in it any more
i dont see my kitten
i dont see my family
i rarely see my friends.
what happened?
i dont even know. i go out, and for some reason its hours before i go back to wherever im supposed to be, not realizing what ive done, where ive been, or what im going to do.
like, i dont have a place to belong to anymore. im just going out, like the grandfathering of the new seniors, and the old ones out. old kids are out now, its all the "new stuff" . we all just walk around town like were cool, but really, were freshman all over again. weve got no idead what were doing, where were going, and god knows, we will be the butt of almost every joke around campus. and let me tell you- theres probs gonna be quite a few. i turn 18 in less than a month, and its such an awkward time. theres nothing i can do, but theres very little that i cant do- theres just no motivation. i sit around, sleep a lot, eat A LOT stopped going to the gym very often (HUGE mistake) and feel like im ten times less cultured than when i went to school.
in summation- i feel like shit.
like i look like a person who hasnt slept in a week (which is true)
ive gained like 30 lbs.
i lost my muscle tone, because i have not time to go to classes t the gym, and my ADD is ridiculous to work out and run on a treadmill for more than 20 minutes. and for someone who runs, and is sort of in shape, you need to run for at least 25 in roder for the workout to 'count".
i dont know what im doing, or what im going to do. if anyone has any hints on how to beat these blues, tell me, cuz it bites. i loved the gmy, i used to go every day......
yeah. im going to try to clean ym room, hide my clothes from my little sister, pack for tomorrow, and sleep. just to get up at 7 am. awesome.
Later days.