uncertainty
i guess the technical term for how i'm feeling is "cold feet". i'm really sad to be moving to edmonton. part of me just wants to put the brakes on this whole thing and stay here, but i know that that's not the best thing for me to do. i'm just not looking forward to the big changes that are going to be happening in my life very soon. i know that i'm going to miss vancouver, my friends, family and work life - everything that i have here.
to make matters worse, chris and i have barely spoken this week and i'm not feeling particulary confident in our relationship. i'm sure it's one of those things that once i'm there and fully adjusted to my new surroundings, i might even like it... but in the mean time, my stomach is in a huge knot! chris is probably just as terrified and that would explain the lack of communication lately. he's going to be here on saturday afternoon for 5 days and i'm hoping that we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
i actually almost started crying at yoga tonight! i've been doing this incredibly spiritual vajra yoga class for the past six months. at the end of the class, we were sitting in a circle holding hands while the instructor sang a song, i can't even remember the exact words, something about love... it made me well up and just feel like sobbing.
i miss my parents and i really wish that they were here right now. such bad timing... they're in kitimat helping nathen move to prince george and probably won't be back for another 10 days, just in time to see me off. more bad timing, the dream project is further delayed and i'm beginning to lose hope that i'll get to see it finished before i leave... very sad.
to make matters worse, chris and i have barely spoken this week and i'm not feeling particulary confident in our relationship. i'm sure it's one of those things that once i'm there and fully adjusted to my new surroundings, i might even like it... but in the mean time, my stomach is in a huge knot! chris is probably just as terrified and that would explain the lack of communication lately. he's going to be here on saturday afternoon for 5 days and i'm hoping that we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
i actually almost started crying at yoga tonight! i've been doing this incredibly spiritual vajra yoga class for the past six months. at the end of the class, we were sitting in a circle holding hands while the instructor sang a song, i can't even remember the exact words, something about love... it made me well up and just feel like sobbing.
i miss my parents and i really wish that they were here right now. such bad timing... they're in kitimat helping nathen move to prince george and probably won't be back for another 10 days, just in time to see me off. more bad timing, the dream project is further delayed and i'm beginning to lose hope that i'll get to see it finished before i leave... very sad.