emo-post in beginning and a lot of swearing because i feel like it
well happy V-day to the people who celebrate it this year! :)
Am i celebrating? not so much....Valentine's day sucks without a date, doesn't help that i saw new pics of Ruben yesterday(my msn convo with Lynn turned that way, stupid from me to even properly look at the pictures, but i did and he's so goddamn gorgeous that it feels wronger by the second for a person like me to long for someone like him. He definetely deserves better). He still makes my heart melt(with only a picture of him, mind you, to illustrate the Edward Cullen effect he has on me) and now....well now it just sucks, can't really explain what exactly it is that's so awful. Perhaps the fact that i know he's happy out there and i'm here...alone...without anyone to share this fantastic day with. Or maybe it's the realisation that such a person will never ever belong to me because of who i am, where i come from and how i look. He is in a higher social circle [little understatement, the guy is filthy rich and my parents can't even properly pay their bills in time], he is 100x more pleasant to hang out with than i am[you notice that quickly] and he looks like a friggin' model while i...well i won't even begin on that one. It's like getting stabbed with a big knife that has acid on it to make it worse.
that, ladies, is what V-day means to me. Pure punishment and torture. The blackest of all black days. The mother of depression. The creator of the negativity i'm currently suffering from.
my 16th valentine without a guy next to me, that has to be a guiness world record.
Now how have i been? good mostly :) Report was great :)
but i've been sick....well ntot exactly, but i have been home Thursday and yesterday. I'm suffering from my intestants[Sp? no frggin' idea and i'm too tired to give a flying F-]. The doc gave me meds, and the meds suck because they are little things that go in my mouth and i feel like i'm suffocating when i'm swallowing those things with water (for those who are interested, the med. is called colofiber)
going to school Monday, and i have a lot of catching up to do, have 2 tests that i ahve to make and then there's the work for this week....at least my week will be short, i'm going on a relationship-day Tuesday, so that's 1 day less school, and then i think we're going to Urania[never heard of it, have no idea WTF it is] for geography
then after this week i have a week off, and godfuckingdammit will that feel good! the 25th i'll be on Aline's birthdayparty :3
okay i'll go to bed now, have a lot to do tomorrow(studfy for tests and stuff....yep)
goodbye people :)
Am i celebrating? not so much....Valentine's day sucks without a date, doesn't help that i saw new pics of Ruben yesterday(my msn convo with Lynn turned that way, stupid from me to even properly look at the pictures, but i did and he's so goddamn gorgeous that it feels wronger by the second for a person like me to long for someone like him. He definetely deserves better). He still makes my heart melt(with only a picture of him, mind you, to illustrate the Edward Cullen effect he has on me) and now....well now it just sucks, can't really explain what exactly it is that's so awful. Perhaps the fact that i know he's happy out there and i'm here...alone...without anyone to share this fantastic day with. Or maybe it's the realisation that such a person will never ever belong to me because of who i am, where i come from and how i look. He is in a higher social circle [little understatement, the guy is filthy rich and my parents can't even properly pay their bills in time], he is 100x more pleasant to hang out with than i am[you notice that quickly] and he looks like a friggin' model while i...well i won't even begin on that one. It's like getting stabbed with a big knife that has acid on it to make it worse.
that, ladies, is what V-day means to me. Pure punishment and torture. The blackest of all black days. The mother of depression. The creator of the negativity i'm currently suffering from.
my 16th valentine without a guy next to me, that has to be a guiness world record.
Now how have i been? good mostly :) Report was great :)
but i've been sick....well ntot exactly, but i have been home Thursday and yesterday. I'm suffering from my intestants[Sp? no frggin' idea and i'm too tired to give a flying F-]. The doc gave me meds, and the meds suck because they are little things that go in my mouth and i feel like i'm suffocating when i'm swallowing those things with water (for those who are interested, the med. is called colofiber)
going to school Monday, and i have a lot of catching up to do, have 2 tests that i ahve to make and then there's the work for this week....at least my week will be short, i'm going on a relationship-day Tuesday, so that's 1 day less school, and then i think we're going to Urania[never heard of it, have no idea WTF it is] for geography
then after this week i have a week off, and godfuckingdammit will that feel good! the 25th i'll be on Aline's birthdayparty :3
okay i'll go to bed now, have a lot to do tomorrow(studfy for tests and stuff....yep)
goodbye people :)