Stressed

[melissads]

My dad has been nagging me about going to a SUNY school. months ago I filled out the SUNY application and applied to Fredonia, Brockport, Geneseo, and Oswego. My dad brought up Oswego the other day and before that I never really thought about it. But now that I've looked into it, it seems like a school I'd really like! It's so much cheaper than Nazareth and Fisher (which are my other two options). I got really excited when I found out that Oswego has a music minor! So that made it go from last on my list to tied with Nazareth. So I'm stressing out trying to figure out whether I should go to Nazareth where I know I feel comfortable. Or should I go to Oswego where it'll be a whole lot cheaper, I prolly could feel comfortable there but I'm not sure, and I'll be an hour away from Edwin. He broke my heart the other day when I brought this up to him and he asked me to please go to Naz. I love him so much and don't want to be that far away from him. I think that our relationship is really strong to survive not seeing each other a lot... I just don't want that to happen. I'm used to seeing him every other day. And his top choice is Fisher. If he's at Fisher and I'm at Naz, we're gonna be sooooo close! The problem is that it might hold me back. I can see myself at Oswego really becoming a lot more independant. Nazareth is the safe choice... So do I take a risk and risk losing the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with? If Edwin and I ever broke up and I went to Naz, I'd regret not going to Oswego. If Edwin and I broke up and I was at Oswego, I'd regret going to Oswego cuz that would prolly be the reason why we'd break up. I don't think an hour is that far. The problem is that Edwin thinks that it's far.. which makes me think that if I do go, he won't visit me much. I'm gonna try to visit stephanie at Oswego next weekend with Edwin so that we can see whether it's something I should do or not. I would just hate to chose Naz just because it's the safe choice... that's what I did the first time and I sorta regret it a little bit.

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I finished my college essays and typed them. So I'm gonna send my Naz application tomorrow and get my transcripts sent to Naz and Oswego.