I hate myself...
So umm...today sucked. I went into it with high hopes but guess what? Yeah, it sucked. I just want to cry and cry for the rest of my life. I hate it. I want to be happy..it's soooo hard. All my friends hate me pretty much. I'm no one's "best friend"...damn it, why me?? Why was I born the way I am? I dont want to hear "God has a plan for everyone" I just want to be happy and loved...is that too much too ask?? I'm not going shopping tomorrow...for a reason. Coby said he "couldnt go" to formal. He said his brother in law's mom was in the hospital supposedly..I made it out of there...I just want to cry forever..I was soo looking forward to it. No one knows how much. I'm scared..I'm so so scared. I hate myself. I wish I could just die and get it over with...am I sinking into depression again? Probably. Do I care? Hell no. I hate myself...I'm sick of trying to be happy. I'm sick of being myself. I dont care anymore. All I am is nothing. I dont matter. I wish I were ANYONE but me!! Why was I born looking like I do? Damn it to hell...know what? Fuck it. Fuck everything. I'm over it.