Birthday fic for Kchanlp <3
Happy birthday, kchanlp !!!
I hope you have a wonderful day full of sugar and pretty boys!
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 900~
Sorry if the ending seems a little rushed, and I hope you don't mind some mild 8059 angst on your birthday!
Everyone can tell that something is off, but no one is brave enough to say it out loud. Instead, they tiptoe around the subject, hoping that everything will just blow over, that Yamamoto will eventually snap out of it and make the most of what has happened. It doesn’t work out that way.
Despite his best efforts to act otherwise, Yamamoto is still recovering from the attack. He insists that he just uses the crutches out of habit, but the few times he has walked without them ended with him being forced to rest for twice as long as he was on his feet. Even now, Gokudera can tell that he is resting most of his weight on the counter as he leans against it while slicing the salmon. It’s almost painful to watch, but Gokudera doesn’t pity Yamamoto, can’t pity Yamamoto because he knows how much he would hate to be pitied if stuck in the same situation. Instead, he stops by the restaurant almost every day since Yamamoto was released from the hospital, something Yamamoto has been bugging him to do even before they started dating. He hates looking like he’s finally taken Yamamoto up on the offer to consider himself at home there, but he remembers the dark depression Yamamoto fell into after injuring his arm soon after Gokudera arrived in Namimori, and he’ll be damned if he lets Yamamoto spiral like that again.
There is already evidence of dark thoughts clouding Yamamoto’s mind. Though the Tenth has tried numerous times to assure him that he is still wanted and needed, Yamamoto still keeps apologizing for being so useless.
He braces one hand on the counter and shakily passes the plate of sushi to Gokudera.
“Hn, not bad,” Gokudera says. Before he would have added for a baseball moron for good measure, but now is not the time for that. Instead, he chews thoughtfully on the sushi and watches how quickly the crooked smile falls from Yamamoto’s mouth.
“At least I’m still good for something,” Yamamoto says, and Gokudera wants to punch him for even thinking such thoughts.
“Idiot.”
“Yeah.” Yamamoto stares at the knife before picking it up again. “Do you want anything else?”
“I want you to get over yourself. Wallowing in self pity isn’t going to get you anywhere.”
“You act as if you know what I’m going through, Gokudera,” Yamamoto replies dryly.
“You didn’t know what I was going through when you planned that stupid sushi party to cheer me up in the future.” Gokudera runs a hand through his hair. “You’re worrying the Tenth-you’re worrying everyone.” He hopes the emphasis will click in Yamamoto’s mind. There was a time when it would have frightened him to be so concerned for someone who is not the Tenth, but now it just pains him to see Yamamoto like this.
“Haha, I’m sorry. I-sorry I failed you guys.”
Fuck no.
Gokudera stands up, stalks through the entrance of the bar, grabs Yamamoto by the apron, and punches him in the face.
“Nngh!” Yamamoto clutches at his aching cheekbone and promptly collapses into Gokudera’s arms. They stumble together into the living room behind the kitchen, where Gokudera helps lower Yamamoto onto a cushion. Then he puts a hand to Yamamoto’s forehead and pushes his fringe away, forcing the boy to look at him.
“You are not a failure. Don’t even begin to think otherwise.” Gokudera growls softly. Yamamoto winces as he prods the growing bruise.
“Don’t try to kid me, Gokudera. Even if I make a full recovery, it’ll be months, maybe years, before I can fight with you guys.”
“We don’t value you because you can fight.” Gokudera’s thumb strokes idly at the baby fine hair at Yamamoto’s temple. “There are…things you can do that no one else can. The Tenth always turns to you when he needs a mental boost.” It is something Gokudera loathes to admit, but the truth is that the Tenth would probably be reduced to a ball of twitching nerves if he were forced to rely on Gokudera for everything.
“Yeah, well-“
Gokudera doesn’t let Yamamoto finish. “And you can usually dispel any tension with that stupid laugh of yours.”
“But that’s-“
“And what the fuck am I supposed to do if you give up?” Sliding his hand further into Yamamoto’s hair, Gokudera closes his eyes and lets his forehead rest against Yamamoto’s. He’s never been that good with this, this emotion thing, so not being able to see Yamamoto’s reaction helps a little. They stay like that for a minute until Yamamoto cups a warm palm to the back of Gokudera’s neck.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I’m just having a really hard time with this. I guess I’m just frustrated that I’m being such a burden on everyone.”
“You’re not a burden.”
“Haha, I guess I was just being stupid.” Yamamoto pulls Gokudera into a hug as he laughs. Normally Gokudera would have squawked indignantly at the gesture, but he keeps his pride in check and let’s Yamamoto squish him against his chest.
“Yeah, well that’s nothing new,” he mumbles.
Yamamoto draws his chin up for a quick kiss. “Thank you,” he says with a smile.
“For punching you? Damn masochist.”
“No, for being here, for listening. For knocking some sense into me, haha!”
“Don’t mention it.”
“No, really,” Yamamoto whispers, nuzzling at Gokudera’s check. “Thank you.”
For the first time in a while, it seems like everything is going to turn out all right.