Blossoming
I looked through my past LJ entries today--all the way back from June 2006.
And I couldn't help but think: Wow, I sounded so childish back then.
I suppose it's partially because I treated my LJ like a very traditional journal, recording precisely what I did in a day and making comments about my actions. (Other people can do such things in a sophisticated and mature-sounding manner. But, in contrast, I sounded very naive in doing so.)
However, for the most part, I think it's because...I was so immature back then.
And it shocks me. In a good way.
Because I'm so different now.
Truly, I can't believe how much I've grown since I first started my LJ four years ago. I've changed in so many ways and experienced so many different things that I never thought would ever happen. Some good; some not-so-good. But whatever the case, all of it has contributed to my growth over the years, and I regret none of it.
Furthermore, it amazes me to realize how much more I want. How much more I want to grow. How much more I want to live.
I guess that's why I've been so eager to travel recently--why I've been so enthusiastic about going to district events on the mainland for my club. (I'd probably do much more traveling than that, too, if school and money weren't issues.)
So, what's my next step in my "growth and change" process?
Discontinue my LJ and begin anew somewhere else.
I'm no longer interested in recording the precise details of my daily life, which was the purpose of my LJ. Instead, I just want to jot down random thoughts and feelings in whatever way I want, whenever I want.
Sure, I could probably do that with my LJ--just begin anew here. But...well, I just don't want to.
My LJ is a representation of my past. A representation of the "old" me.
Therefore, I can't start afresh here.
However, that doesn't mean that I'll be deleting my LJ. I'll keep it around for memories' sake--a reminder of how I used to be. That way, I can always see how much I've changed over the years. (I've sort of "retired" my past entries though: it's only viewable to myself and LJ friends. But, I'm sure that doesn't mean much; not that many people have been following it anyway.)
So, where will I begin anew?
I'm not sure yet. I'm still thinking about it. But I will start afresh somewhere for sure.
Meanwhile, I'll continue to grow.
I'll continue to blossom.
And I couldn't help but think: Wow, I sounded so childish back then.
I suppose it's partially because I treated my LJ like a very traditional journal, recording precisely what I did in a day and making comments about my actions. (Other people can do such things in a sophisticated and mature-sounding manner. But, in contrast, I sounded very naive in doing so.)
However, for the most part, I think it's because...I was so immature back then.
And it shocks me. In a good way.
Because I'm so different now.
Truly, I can't believe how much I've grown since I first started my LJ four years ago. I've changed in so many ways and experienced so many different things that I never thought would ever happen. Some good; some not-so-good. But whatever the case, all of it has contributed to my growth over the years, and I regret none of it.
Furthermore, it amazes me to realize how much more I want. How much more I want to grow. How much more I want to live.
I guess that's why I've been so eager to travel recently--why I've been so enthusiastic about going to district events on the mainland for my club. (I'd probably do much more traveling than that, too, if school and money weren't issues.)
So, what's my next step in my "growth and change" process?
Discontinue my LJ and begin anew somewhere else.
I'm no longer interested in recording the precise details of my daily life, which was the purpose of my LJ. Instead, I just want to jot down random thoughts and feelings in whatever way I want, whenever I want.
Sure, I could probably do that with my LJ--just begin anew here. But...well, I just don't want to.
My LJ is a representation of my past. A representation of the "old" me.
Therefore, I can't start afresh here.
However, that doesn't mean that I'll be deleting my LJ. I'll keep it around for memories' sake--a reminder of how I used to be. That way, I can always see how much I've changed over the years. (I've sort of "retired" my past entries though: it's only viewable to myself and LJ friends. But, I'm sure that doesn't mean much; not that many people have been following it anyway.)
So, where will I begin anew?
I'm not sure yet. I'm still thinking about it. But I will start afresh somewhere for sure.
Meanwhile, I'll continue to grow.
I'll continue to blossom.