Let go
What does it take to just throw your hands up in the air, and just let go.
What makes us hold on to pain, bad memories and resentment and keep it as if its mere existence defines our own.
Sometimes I wish I can eat, sleep, and live on my bike. Only on my bike does life seem like it is in perspective. Surrounded by lush greenery, beautiful, quaint houses and an odd fellow biker or two, I feel like nature, or the universe, understands. As I grind up a hill, pushing through the pain, wishing that I wasn't clipped into pedals so I can stop for a millisecond and catch my breath, I forget about everything. Whats important is getting up that hill, it's almost life and death, because falling over on the side, even mildly, at the point of falling feels like it is about life or death. So I push, and I feel like that hill is telling me, common, move your fat ass, I was here long before you, and many have gone up this very same way, common, common, go go go, there is a reward at the top.....And there sure is. That last pedal stroke that takes me over, when I take a deep breath and let go, rolling down the steepest of hills, screaming because I'm just that happy. I remember that I do after all love my sister. I forgive her. I love my parents, they gave me everything. All the resentment I felt is gone. I'm on my bike. I'll be just fine.
But I'm not on my bike now. THe pain is still here. I remember what my sister said. I'm hurting. My family wont stay on its side of the fence, and I again wonder, where do they end, and where do I begin. I feel like the girl in the blonde joke that laughs twice at a joke, once with everyone else, once when she gets it. I wonder if I react to something because they would too, or is it my own thinking.
How do you just let go?
I'll put in 120 miles this week. That is all I know I can to, right now.
Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
What makes us hold on to pain, bad memories and resentment and keep it as if its mere existence defines our own.
Sometimes I wish I can eat, sleep, and live on my bike. Only on my bike does life seem like it is in perspective. Surrounded by lush greenery, beautiful, quaint houses and an odd fellow biker or two, I feel like nature, or the universe, understands. As I grind up a hill, pushing through the pain, wishing that I wasn't clipped into pedals so I can stop for a millisecond and catch my breath, I forget about everything. Whats important is getting up that hill, it's almost life and death, because falling over on the side, even mildly, at the point of falling feels like it is about life or death. So I push, and I feel like that hill is telling me, common, move your fat ass, I was here long before you, and many have gone up this very same way, common, common, go go go, there is a reward at the top.....And there sure is. That last pedal stroke that takes me over, when I take a deep breath and let go, rolling down the steepest of hills, screaming because I'm just that happy. I remember that I do after all love my sister. I forgive her. I love my parents, they gave me everything. All the resentment I felt is gone. I'm on my bike. I'll be just fine.
But I'm not on my bike now. THe pain is still here. I remember what my sister said. I'm hurting. My family wont stay on its side of the fence, and I again wonder, where do they end, and where do I begin. I feel like the girl in the blonde joke that laughs twice at a joke, once with everyone else, once when she gets it. I wonder if I react to something because they would too, or is it my own thinking.
How do you just let go?
I'll put in 120 miles this week. That is all I know I can to, right now.
Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you're writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like