hi i'm mel and my heart is broken all over again. WHAT IS IT ABOUT HIM, AND HIS FACE, AND THE WAY HE SEEMS SO VULNERABLE AND JUST EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING. klasfjd.
okay I am writing but not a ton because I don't want to overstep any boundaries. is that crazy, that I don't want to intrude on his life? I sound so ridiculous right now omg.
I think I am brain blocked today bc something about this is just not workingHe can fill his life with whatever he pleases at this point. No one's stopping him, that's for sure. All of the restrictions of his childhood, or "his other life" as he now thinks of it, seem a world away as long as he's in motion. He can smoke, he can drink, he can sleep with the first (or hottest) girl (or guy) he sees every night. Music, it seems, is a different story, has always been a different story. When he's onstage, high above the crowd, he can't ignore the feeling of sinking. When the lights shine blinding and bright, he can't hide the marks on his skin from now years of drug use (or maybe just that time last week when he tried to shave while ridiculously wasted). When he bounces between his band mates, he's only reminded of the fact that they make up the entire stage, and his entire world. While his fingers pick out memorized melodies, the honesty of it all takes him again
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When he's onstage, high above the crowd, he can't ignore the feeling of sinking.
oh, my fuck. no, seriously, i'm on the verge of tears. if you don't finish this, i swear, i will die. holy shit, no, come on.
When he bounces between his band mates, he's only reminded of the fact that they make up the entire stage, and his entire world. no, ouch, fuck, come on. fuck. so much. incoherency.
asjdfklsjd say stuff about when he's not on tour and he's alone with dylan and shane is working, or something. and he's just alone waiting for someone to call asdfkjs :(
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oh, my fuck. no, seriously, i'm on the verge of tears. if you don't finish this, i swear, i will die. holy shit, no, come on.
When he bounces between his band mates, he's only reminded of the fact that they make up the entire stage, and his entire world.
no, ouch, fuck, come on. fuck. so much. incoherency.
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omg but there's no more mel there's no more. I can't even fjdksfa idek where to go from there
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asjdfklsjd say stuff about when he's not on tour and he's alone with dylan and shane is working, or something. and he's just alone waiting for someone to call asdfkjs :(
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