Scared
I'm scared.
Got a call from my rheumy's office on Friday afternoon. Main point of the call was to tell me that I'm anemic. Duh. I knew that. They want to do some fancy testing. We'll see.
But as an afterthought, she asked if I'd heard from my PCP. They'd received the results from my brain MRI and there were 'undefined abnormalities' found. They want me to see a neurologist. What a way to ruin a weekend! I'm stressed and got no sleep Friday night. Saturday and Sunday nights were better.
I called my PCP's office at about 1 pm and left a message. I'd hoped they'd call in the morning, but no. Her message says she's not in the office on Mondays, so I dunno if I'll hear from her today or not. I hope so.
I knew something was wrong and I'm glad they've found something...in some ways. It would have been worse had they not found anything. But now, not knowing what's going on and knowing that something is wrong is very scary. My BP has been very high all weekend. I'm headachy and I'm sure it's from stress and worry too.
I know stressing and worrying don't help, but it sure is hard to let it go. I'm trying. I've been watching football which I love. Today, I've been watching TV and playing on the computer. I'm not relaxed tho. I can hear my breathing and my ears are ringing. My BP is high, but lower than it was. I feel helpless.
I'm trying to keep this from my mom and my husband. Both of them are really stressing too. David is at work which lets him think about other things. My mom went to work today too. She called me as soon as she got home. We talked for a bit, but since I haven't heard from the doc, I didn't have much new to tell her. But talking to her helped both of us.
Not much else to say right now. It's a waiting game. I'm guessing that either my PCP didn't get the results yet or she's not as worried. But she's more responsible than that so she'd call. I really do like her and think she's a good doctor. I'm not sure I feel the same about my rheumy. It seems irresponsible to me to call at 5:30 PM on a Friday afternoon with news like she had. No follow up either. I know I don't like his staff. I think he's a good doc, but I'm still not sure he's the one I need to be seeing. I'm tempted to find another one, but probably should talk to the attorney for my disability case first. Changing docs mid-case might be a bad idea. I dunno.
Ok, gonna close for now. Will update once I hear something. Please pray for me to be strong and to get well. Thanks and love to all!