(no subject)
I haven't updated in such a long time. I'm not really sure where to begin, I suppose.
Today is my dad's 46th birthday! Originally, he wasn't going to be in town, so we didn't really make any plans. Then he called me this morning to let me know he'd be passing through for like two hours and wanted to know if we had plans for lunch. Lunch it is then! I'm feeling really guilty because we didn't buy him and kind of gift or even a card. I really didn't think that he'd be home until next weekend and now we don't have any spare cash to get him anything. Grr. I'm sure that he won't care in the slightest, he just wants to spend time with all of us and enjoy seeing everyone.
I feel like my relationship with him has been so....idk. Bad. When Danny and I first got married and moved into our current house, we told my dad that he was welcome to stay in our extra room on the weekends that he was home so that he didn't have to make the drive up to his house, which is a long, curvey, scary during the winter-time drive. I also made the offer because at the time, my brother was away at college and I was worried about my dad sitting at home on his days off, being lonely. I worry. He doesn't have any of his siblings close to him and he lost both of his parents a couple of years back. He basically only has my brother and I and that makes me feel insanely guilty. I don't want him to be lonely, I guess. Anyway, back to the original story. We told him that he could stay with us when he was home on the weekends so that he didn't have to drive up to his house during the winter months when the roads get bad. It was only supposed to be for one winter, but then he never stopped staying here. He causes problems between Danny and I because when he's here, he basically takes over our entire house. He takes control of the TV and... IDK. He basically just takes over and he'll make comments about me or Danny or Evan or whatever. He's frustrating. He also doesn't give us any warning a lot of the time as to when he'll be here. He just shows up, stays as long as he wants, and then eventually leaves. He's loud and wakes Evan from his naps. He doesn't clean up after himself and often leaves trash or whatever laying around the house. Very frustrating. And he's just very much here and in the way and excepts everything to be taken care of for him. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's nice to have him here. Evan has a very close relationship with him and that makes me really happy. Evan is crazy about him. Sometimes, he'll help watch Evan so that I can grab a quick shower or whatever I need to do. And it's nice to have him here on nights when Danny works late...just so that I'm not home alone. I hate being home alone late at night, it freaks me out. Anyway. I've been asking him since August, when I found out I was pregnant, when he'd be moving out and staying at his house again...because we need his bedroom for the new baby. Originally, we agreed that Christmas is when he's move out. Well, it's February and he's still here. And I'm due with the new baby next month. And I still haven't been able to make a space for this baby yet because my dad's stuff is here and everywhere and just UGH. I keep making comments about how he needs to move, but I just can't be mean to him. I can't do it. I know that I need to, but I feel bad for him because I feel like he has no one. I have been holding all of this stuff against him and I know that it's not healthy. He just needs to GO. I need the space for Emily. I want my house and my life back. I've told him that he can still come over and visit with us all and I really want him to be a big part of Emily's life... just like he was/is for Evan. He just doesn't get that I need him to move on. AGH.
On Monday, I'll be 37 weeks pregnant! I'm feeling very huge lately and experiancing a lot of things that I didn't go through during my pregnancy with Evan. Evan was breech and he never moved down. This baby has been pushing on my cervix a lot and I feel like I'm walking around with a bowling ball between my legs. It's painful and I hate it. I wasn't prepared for it...I never went through this with Evan. My doctor has started checking me at my weekly appointments. I'm dialated to a 1, currently. The doctor says that she thinks the baby will come around 38 weeks. That's just her guess. I don't know. On one hand, I'm so tired of being pregnant and having all of the aches and pains. On the other hand, I'm so not ready for her to come because we're just not ready for her. We still have a lot that needs to get done before she arrives. I need to buy some little socks and get her some sort of little jacket. And we want to buy a new swing for her because the one that we have from Evan, we bought it used and it's really just on it's last leg. I'd like to invest in a new one. Everything else, we pretty much have. Yesterday, I went through all of the clothing that we have for her and got it all washed. I'm going to organize it tonight and put it all away.
I have so much more that I need to post about, but I really should start getting ready for lunch with my dad. Evan's nap will be cut short, so that's not going to be fun.
Today is my dad's 46th birthday! Originally, he wasn't going to be in town, so we didn't really make any plans. Then he called me this morning to let me know he'd be passing through for like two hours and wanted to know if we had plans for lunch. Lunch it is then! I'm feeling really guilty because we didn't buy him and kind of gift or even a card. I really didn't think that he'd be home until next weekend and now we don't have any spare cash to get him anything. Grr. I'm sure that he won't care in the slightest, he just wants to spend time with all of us and enjoy seeing everyone.
I feel like my relationship with him has been so....idk. Bad. When Danny and I first got married and moved into our current house, we told my dad that he was welcome to stay in our extra room on the weekends that he was home so that he didn't have to make the drive up to his house, which is a long, curvey, scary during the winter-time drive. I also made the offer because at the time, my brother was away at college and I was worried about my dad sitting at home on his days off, being lonely. I worry. He doesn't have any of his siblings close to him and he lost both of his parents a couple of years back. He basically only has my brother and I and that makes me feel insanely guilty. I don't want him to be lonely, I guess. Anyway, back to the original story. We told him that he could stay with us when he was home on the weekends so that he didn't have to drive up to his house during the winter months when the roads get bad. It was only supposed to be for one winter, but then he never stopped staying here. He causes problems between Danny and I because when he's here, he basically takes over our entire house. He takes control of the TV and... IDK. He basically just takes over and he'll make comments about me or Danny or Evan or whatever. He's frustrating. He also doesn't give us any warning a lot of the time as to when he'll be here. He just shows up, stays as long as he wants, and then eventually leaves. He's loud and wakes Evan from his naps. He doesn't clean up after himself and often leaves trash or whatever laying around the house. Very frustrating. And he's just very much here and in the way and excepts everything to be taken care of for him. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's nice to have him here. Evan has a very close relationship with him and that makes me really happy. Evan is crazy about him. Sometimes, he'll help watch Evan so that I can grab a quick shower or whatever I need to do. And it's nice to have him here on nights when Danny works late...just so that I'm not home alone. I hate being home alone late at night, it freaks me out. Anyway. I've been asking him since August, when I found out I was pregnant, when he'd be moving out and staying at his house again...because we need his bedroom for the new baby. Originally, we agreed that Christmas is when he's move out. Well, it's February and he's still here. And I'm due with the new baby next month. And I still haven't been able to make a space for this baby yet because my dad's stuff is here and everywhere and just UGH. I keep making comments about how he needs to move, but I just can't be mean to him. I can't do it. I know that I need to, but I feel bad for him because I feel like he has no one. I have been holding all of this stuff against him and I know that it's not healthy. He just needs to GO. I need the space for Emily. I want my house and my life back. I've told him that he can still come over and visit with us all and I really want him to be a big part of Emily's life... just like he was/is for Evan. He just doesn't get that I need him to move on. AGH.
On Monday, I'll be 37 weeks pregnant! I'm feeling very huge lately and experiancing a lot of things that I didn't go through during my pregnancy with Evan. Evan was breech and he never moved down. This baby has been pushing on my cervix a lot and I feel like I'm walking around with a bowling ball between my legs. It's painful and I hate it. I wasn't prepared for it...I never went through this with Evan. My doctor has started checking me at my weekly appointments. I'm dialated to a 1, currently. The doctor says that she thinks the baby will come around 38 weeks. That's just her guess. I don't know. On one hand, I'm so tired of being pregnant and having all of the aches and pains. On the other hand, I'm so not ready for her to come because we're just not ready for her. We still have a lot that needs to get done before she arrives. I need to buy some little socks and get her some sort of little jacket. And we want to buy a new swing for her because the one that we have from Evan, we bought it used and it's really just on it's last leg. I'd like to invest in a new one. Everything else, we pretty much have. Yesterday, I went through all of the clothing that we have for her and got it all washed. I'm going to organize it tonight and put it all away.
I have so much more that I need to post about, but I really should start getting ready for lunch with my dad. Evan's nap will be cut short, so that's not going to be fun.