i guess you'd call this guilt...
I feel really bad right now, and i think it's cause i don't want to hostess tonight at JD's resturant... so i left him a note on the table, saying i don't want to. And i feel bad... i don't know why. I mean obviously i said i would do it and now i say i won't... but i just don't want to do it at all. I have done it twice... and it's not worth 40 bucks. i wind up staying from 6-11 or don't get home untill 11 at least... I don't have a set schedual, Kate never knows when she wants me, so I wind up waiting around, not knowing if i can make plans or not... blah blah blah... i just feel bad.I feel like i am screwing him over.. but i shouldn't cause that place is crap anyway. He shouldn't be working in a resturant... he should be recording music. The people that work there are... not MY kind of people anyway.. he seems to like them, but lazyness festers, it;s contagious... those people aren't going anywhere fast... whatever he can make his own decisions about who he likes and spends his time with obviously, regardless of how much of a bad influence they are on him, even though he'd never admit to ANYTHING being an influence on him... I dont want to do it, so I'm not going to. Kate can do it, or she can get off her lazy ass and hire someone to do it. and make up her mind as to when she wants a host.
so i guess the question is, what will i do tonight instead? paint my room? clean the kitchen? ill be back later, my mind still isnt at rest.
so i guess the question is, what will i do tonight instead? paint my room? clean the kitchen? ill be back later, my mind still isnt at rest.