Am I Alone?

[melgirl1180]

i feel like shit right now. just feel like sitting at home and rotting my life away. nothin' really bad happened to make me feel like this, just little things that people have said and done that kind of affected me. like, just, the way people act. like tyler for instance, i see him sitting there talking to other girls and laughing and having fun, and it makes me feel like shit. like, i can't give that to him, i feel like i can't make him happy, that i'm just something that gets in the way.

i just don't feel like i'm wanted anymore, by anyone. jess has been haggin out with ashley, and tells me about how much fun they have. and i know that i can't do that for her. and she always talks about ashley in her journal and ashley this and ashley that, and i just don't feel like i'm needed. like i'm shit. and jess says she's fat and everyone hates her, and i just can't understand where she gets that from. it's just, that she is perfect, and i'm shit. and she says "yeah, melissa, but your not fat." HELL I AM! i know i am! look at me, compared to jess, yeah, i'm fat. and she has a good friend ashley, and i thought i had one, but i guess i was wrong. i just, i don't know. may be, i should just leave.

i'm not mad at anyone if it seems like it. well, i take that back, i'm mad at myself. i hate myself. i hate everything i am.