My Handsome Prince Part 2/2
Title:My Handsome Prince Part 2/2
Author:melfinatheblue
Rating:R
Characters:Lucius Malfoy, Dolores Umbridge, Severus Snape, Narcissa Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Antonin Dolohov
Pairings:Lucius/Severus, Lucius/Dolores,
Summary:Ms Umbridge has a crush on Lucius. This is not a happy thing as far as Lucius is concerned.
Warnings: Het, stalking, cursing,
Word Count:2020
Notes: Yay, I finished it. Um, no actual described sex because, well, my brain shut down when I tried to picture it. First part is here.
It was a few days before Lucius was feeling well enough to return to the Ministry. His first morning back was exceptionally hectic. It was with a certain sense of relief that he went down to the canteen for lunch, something he normally avoided. His legs hurt and he didn't want to bother going to his normal club. Easy sounded good, even if the menu was atrocious.
He sat at an empty table and picked at the food. God, this stuff was wretched. And he thought the food at Hogwarts was bad. He made a mental note to never ever come here again. The fact that they had apparently tried to fry lettuce, well that was just frightening, and he knew frightening.
"Damn pain potions," he mumbled as he stared into his possibly fried salad. "Always make me muzzy-headed. I'll be glad when I can do without them."
"Do without what, Lucius?"
'Merlin damn it, she snuck up on me!'
"Nothing important, Ms. Umbridge."
'Get the hint, old toad. I'm not using your first name, don't use mine.'
"Are you fully recovered?"
"Not yet, but soon, I'm told. Thank you for your card, it was very thoughtful."
"How very sweet of you to remember."
'How could I not, it made my entire study stink! And gave me a minor breakdown. Damn you, woman, a little of that funk goes a long, long way. Oh, and please don't join me.'
Umbridge sat down across from Lucius. He noted that she was wearing a black bow today, and her usual pink. And far too much perfume. If he hadn't already been nauseated at the thought of eating this food, he certainly would be now. He searched for a safe conversation topic, and resorted to his last refuge.
"What do you think of the weather?"
"It's been hot for September, but hopefully it will cool down soon. You live in Wiltshire, correct? Is it as hot there as here in London?"
"The trees go a long way towards keeping things cool, I find. One of the benefits of living in the country. And the lake certainly helps a great deal."
"Do you swim?"
"Generally, every morning it's warm enough. It's a nice way to start my day. Very relaxing and invigorating at the same time."
Oh Merlin, she was smiling. He really didn't want to know what mental image she'd just come up with. Something involving him rising majestically from the waves, no doubt, and possibly involving a skimpy bathing suit. It'd better not be a Speedo. He certainly wasn't about to mention the fact he habitually swum naked.
"That does sound nice. Do you own the lake?"
"It's on the estate."
"A private lake, how wonderful!"
"It is quite convenient. And adds a certain touch to the scenery."
"I'll bet it does. I haven't been swimming in eons. The public pool just isn't worth dealing with."
"I wouldn't know."
He tried to think of another topic, one that didn't feature the toad in a bathing suit. Pink, no doubt, and possibly with a kitten on it. He shuddered at the mental image, and pushed away his food.
"Are you not feeling well?"
"Just not in the mood for what I suspect is a fried salad. I had heard the chief was expanding his repertoire, but some things simply should not be attempted. This meal is one of those things."
"I agree completely. It's awful. And I think it may be a curry."
Lucius was confused. What was a curry?
"Curry? Not familiar with that dish."
"You've never been to an Indian restaurant? Now that is shocking. And here I always thought you were a man of the world."
"I eat simple food here. If I'd ever been to India, I might have had a curry there, but since I have never had the inclination to do so, I've not had a curry."
Umbridge looked confused as she tried to parse the sentence. He was rather fond of that sentence; it was completely oblique and yet made complete sense. Hopefully she'd be a while untangling it.
"Well, you should try one. I know a lovely place, very upscale."
Merlin, she was hinting at wanting dinner with him. And he had to be nice and play along. The Dark Lord had been very specific, especially on his punishment if he did not comply. He pondered for a moment. Maybe if he took a large dosage of the pain potion beforehand...no, she'd notice the drooling. Damn. He had to do this.
"Perhaps you would care to accompany me?"
'Fuck fuck fuck. She's smiling.'
"I would love to, Lucius. Is Friday acceptable?"
"I am free that evening, yes. Shall we say eight o'clock?"
"Sounds wonderful."
He quickly calculated how much liquor would be necessary to get through the evening. The astronomical number he came up with was rather frightening. If he drank that much in one sitting, he'd probably end up in St. Mungo's with acute alcohol poisoning before the night was out. Damn. He had to do this, and should probably do it sober. Or at least mostly sober. Otherwise he might let his contempt for her show, and well, the Dark Lord was in a foul mood these days. How was he supposed to know the diary was so important? You think getting a dark artifact of that caliber into Hogwarts would be a good thing, but no, apparently it was a horrible screw-up. Sheesh. You'd think that if the thing was so damned important, he would have said so. But oh, no he just casually handed it off, with a "Take care of this for me, would you?"
Sometimes he wondered if the Dark Lord had come completely back. There were a few things he seemed to be missing, sanity for one. He never thought he'd see the day when Bella was more predictable than the Dark Lord. Not a good sign, not a good sign at all. He glanced over at the toad. She had finished eating while he was musing, and was now staring at him. He repressed a shudder.
"Well, I must be off now. See you later, then?"
"I look forward to it, Lucius."
He could feel her eyes on him as he walked out of the room. It made him queasy. Oh Merlin, how was he going to get through Friday night?
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The rest of the week passed far too quickly for Lucius's taste. Suddenly it was Friday afternoon and he was looking at spending a night alone with the toad. He briefly considered setting up a fake emergency; it would get him out of the date early. But the Dark Lord was in the mood to be, well, creative with those who had displeased him of late.
"Sir?"
"Yes, Roberts?"
"You said you wanted to know when it was five, sir. Something about needing to go home on time for once?"
"Oh, yes, thank you Roberts. Have a good weekend."
"You too."
Lucius sighed and got up. Time to go home and get ready. He just had to get through one night, after all. He could do this.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
When he got home, 'Cissa was standing in the front hall waiting for him.
"What?"
"Severus and I both agreed. You're not to have a drop of alcohol. And I'm going to supervise you while you get ready, just to be sure."
Lucius groaned and slowly walked upstairs. It was going to be a long, long night.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The date was going about as well as Lucius thought it would...
'If she giggles like that one more time, I will kill her. She will die.'
"I mean, honestly, it was ridiculous, don't you think?"
"Yes, of course."
'Why won't you shut up and go away? Can't you see I am so far beyond not interested? Go away toad, and leave me in peace!'
"You know, you've let me go on and on about myself. I can't imagine what you must think of me."
"It's fine."
"Why don't you tell me all about yourself?"
Umbridge leaned in towards him, and suddenly there was a hand on his leg. He fought the urge to remove it, preferably from the arm as well, and then disinfect his leg.
"You probably know most of what there is to tell."
"But I don't know anything about your thoughts, your dreams, or your hopes for the future."
The hand was slowly creeping up his leg towards his groin. He put his own hand over it.
"I'm sure they're the same as most wizards. They're not very interesting."
"They are to me. What do you want, Lucius?"
'Oh Merlin, the toad's batting her eyes at me, and now she's squeezing my hand. Just remember what the Dark Lord will do to you if you don't make her happy. Focus on that and you'll be fine.'
"At the moment?"
"Yes."
Lucius took a deep breath. This was it, it was now or never. He could go home with her and, well, he really didn't want to follow that train of thought any further, or he could go back to the Manor, and the Dark Lord would get very creative with him, and possibly Draco as well. Alright, he could do this. It was just one night, he could do this.
"Lucius?"
He glanced around quickly, then kissed her. More of a peck, really.
"Oh, Lucius."
He smiled at her.
"Should I take that as an invitation?"
"If you'd like. It's ladies choice, really. I wouldn't want to put any pressure on you. I respect you far too much for that."
"Well, then. Shall we go?"
'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'
Anyone paying close attention to Lucius Malfoy at that point would have noticed a couple of things. The broad smile he wore did not reach his eyes. In fact, his eyes were full of panic. Dolores Umbridge was watching him, but her eyes were thankfully clouded by love, and she failed to notice anything but the smile on his face.
As they left the restaurant, their waiter turned to the host.
"Odd couple, that. That bloke could do far better."
"I wonder what she has on him. Must be something really embarrassing."
"Poor fellow."
"You feel sorry for him?"
"With that? Yes. Plus, he tipped quite well."
"How well?"
"Extra hundred quid."
"Shit."
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The next few hours were ones Lucius remembered only in nightmares. Thank Merlin for small favors.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Lucius?"
"Yes, my lord?"
"Is Dolores Umbridge a happy woman?"
"I've heard no complaints, my lord."
"That is a very good thing, Lucius. Keeping her happy will go a long way towards restoring my faith in you."
"I will do my best, my lord."
"Now, about Snape."
"Snape?"
"You're going to get him married off. After all, his bloodline is a promising one. Find him someone intelligent. Our ranks must swell, not shrink because you two are busy buggering each other."
"Yes, my lord."
"Oh, and Lucius?"
"Yes, my lord?"
"Why haven't you and Narcissa had more children?"
"She is incapable of doing so, my lord."
"Well, then, I expect you to find yourself a mistress. I want more purebloods, and you are going to give them to me. I'm sure you can find the time, now that you and Snape are no longer an item. If nothing else, find out if the Umbridge woman is still capable of having a child."
"Yes, my lord."
"You are dismissed."
Lucius bowed and left the Dark Lord's presence.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Dolohov snickered at him. Lucius hexed him, and went back to the Manor. Now how he was going to tell 'Cissa that he had to go find himself a mistress was beyond him. Some days, serving the Dark Lord was definitely not all it was cracked up to be.
Author:melfinatheblue
Rating:R
Characters:Lucius Malfoy, Dolores Umbridge, Severus Snape, Narcissa Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Antonin Dolohov
Pairings:Lucius/Severus, Lucius/Dolores,
Summary:Ms Umbridge has a crush on Lucius. This is not a happy thing as far as Lucius is concerned.
Warnings: Het, stalking, cursing,
Word Count:2020
Notes: Yay, I finished it. Um, no actual described sex because, well, my brain shut down when I tried to picture it. First part is here.
It was a few days before Lucius was feeling well enough to return to the Ministry. His first morning back was exceptionally hectic. It was with a certain sense of relief that he went down to the canteen for lunch, something he normally avoided. His legs hurt and he didn't want to bother going to his normal club. Easy sounded good, even if the menu was atrocious.
He sat at an empty table and picked at the food. God, this stuff was wretched. And he thought the food at Hogwarts was bad. He made a mental note to never ever come here again. The fact that they had apparently tried to fry lettuce, well that was just frightening, and he knew frightening.
"Damn pain potions," he mumbled as he stared into his possibly fried salad. "Always make me muzzy-headed. I'll be glad when I can do without them."
"Do without what, Lucius?"
'Merlin damn it, she snuck up on me!'
"Nothing important, Ms. Umbridge."
'Get the hint, old toad. I'm not using your first name, don't use mine.'
"Are you fully recovered?"
"Not yet, but soon, I'm told. Thank you for your card, it was very thoughtful."
"How very sweet of you to remember."
'How could I not, it made my entire study stink! And gave me a minor breakdown. Damn you, woman, a little of that funk goes a long, long way. Oh, and please don't join me.'
Umbridge sat down across from Lucius. He noted that she was wearing a black bow today, and her usual pink. And far too much perfume. If he hadn't already been nauseated at the thought of eating this food, he certainly would be now. He searched for a safe conversation topic, and resorted to his last refuge.
"What do you think of the weather?"
"It's been hot for September, but hopefully it will cool down soon. You live in Wiltshire, correct? Is it as hot there as here in London?"
"The trees go a long way towards keeping things cool, I find. One of the benefits of living in the country. And the lake certainly helps a great deal."
"Do you swim?"
"Generally, every morning it's warm enough. It's a nice way to start my day. Very relaxing and invigorating at the same time."
Oh Merlin, she was smiling. He really didn't want to know what mental image she'd just come up with. Something involving him rising majestically from the waves, no doubt, and possibly involving a skimpy bathing suit. It'd better not be a Speedo. He certainly wasn't about to mention the fact he habitually swum naked.
"That does sound nice. Do you own the lake?"
"It's on the estate."
"A private lake, how wonderful!"
"It is quite convenient. And adds a certain touch to the scenery."
"I'll bet it does. I haven't been swimming in eons. The public pool just isn't worth dealing with."
"I wouldn't know."
He tried to think of another topic, one that didn't feature the toad in a bathing suit. Pink, no doubt, and possibly with a kitten on it. He shuddered at the mental image, and pushed away his food.
"Are you not feeling well?"
"Just not in the mood for what I suspect is a fried salad. I had heard the chief was expanding his repertoire, but some things simply should not be attempted. This meal is one of those things."
"I agree completely. It's awful. And I think it may be a curry."
Lucius was confused. What was a curry?
"Curry? Not familiar with that dish."
"You've never been to an Indian restaurant? Now that is shocking. And here I always thought you were a man of the world."
"I eat simple food here. If I'd ever been to India, I might have had a curry there, but since I have never had the inclination to do so, I've not had a curry."
Umbridge looked confused as she tried to parse the sentence. He was rather fond of that sentence; it was completely oblique and yet made complete sense. Hopefully she'd be a while untangling it.
"Well, you should try one. I know a lovely place, very upscale."
Merlin, she was hinting at wanting dinner with him. And he had to be nice and play along. The Dark Lord had been very specific, especially on his punishment if he did not comply. He pondered for a moment. Maybe if he took a large dosage of the pain potion beforehand...no, she'd notice the drooling. Damn. He had to do this.
"Perhaps you would care to accompany me?"
'Fuck fuck fuck. She's smiling.'
"I would love to, Lucius. Is Friday acceptable?"
"I am free that evening, yes. Shall we say eight o'clock?"
"Sounds wonderful."
He quickly calculated how much liquor would be necessary to get through the evening. The astronomical number he came up with was rather frightening. If he drank that much in one sitting, he'd probably end up in St. Mungo's with acute alcohol poisoning before the night was out. Damn. He had to do this, and should probably do it sober. Or at least mostly sober. Otherwise he might let his contempt for her show, and well, the Dark Lord was in a foul mood these days. How was he supposed to know the diary was so important? You think getting a dark artifact of that caliber into Hogwarts would be a good thing, but no, apparently it was a horrible screw-up. Sheesh. You'd think that if the thing was so damned important, he would have said so. But oh, no he just casually handed it off, with a "Take care of this for me, would you?"
Sometimes he wondered if the Dark Lord had come completely back. There were a few things he seemed to be missing, sanity for one. He never thought he'd see the day when Bella was more predictable than the Dark Lord. Not a good sign, not a good sign at all. He glanced over at the toad. She had finished eating while he was musing, and was now staring at him. He repressed a shudder.
"Well, I must be off now. See you later, then?"
"I look forward to it, Lucius."
He could feel her eyes on him as he walked out of the room. It made him queasy. Oh Merlin, how was he going to get through Friday night?
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The rest of the week passed far too quickly for Lucius's taste. Suddenly it was Friday afternoon and he was looking at spending a night alone with the toad. He briefly considered setting up a fake emergency; it would get him out of the date early. But the Dark Lord was in the mood to be, well, creative with those who had displeased him of late.
"Sir?"
"Yes, Roberts?"
"You said you wanted to know when it was five, sir. Something about needing to go home on time for once?"
"Oh, yes, thank you Roberts. Have a good weekend."
"You too."
Lucius sighed and got up. Time to go home and get ready. He just had to get through one night, after all. He could do this.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
When he got home, 'Cissa was standing in the front hall waiting for him.
"What?"
"Severus and I both agreed. You're not to have a drop of alcohol. And I'm going to supervise you while you get ready, just to be sure."
Lucius groaned and slowly walked upstairs. It was going to be a long, long night.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The date was going about as well as Lucius thought it would...
'If she giggles like that one more time, I will kill her. She will die.'
"I mean, honestly, it was ridiculous, don't you think?"
"Yes, of course."
'Why won't you shut up and go away? Can't you see I am so far beyond not interested? Go away toad, and leave me in peace!'
"You know, you've let me go on and on about myself. I can't imagine what you must think of me."
"It's fine."
"Why don't you tell me all about yourself?"
Umbridge leaned in towards him, and suddenly there was a hand on his leg. He fought the urge to remove it, preferably from the arm as well, and then disinfect his leg.
"You probably know most of what there is to tell."
"But I don't know anything about your thoughts, your dreams, or your hopes for the future."
The hand was slowly creeping up his leg towards his groin. He put his own hand over it.
"I'm sure they're the same as most wizards. They're not very interesting."
"They are to me. What do you want, Lucius?"
'Oh Merlin, the toad's batting her eyes at me, and now she's squeezing my hand. Just remember what the Dark Lord will do to you if you don't make her happy. Focus on that and you'll be fine.'
"At the moment?"
"Yes."
Lucius took a deep breath. This was it, it was now or never. He could go home with her and, well, he really didn't want to follow that train of thought any further, or he could go back to the Manor, and the Dark Lord would get very creative with him, and possibly Draco as well. Alright, he could do this. It was just one night, he could do this.
"Lucius?"
He glanced around quickly, then kissed her. More of a peck, really.
"Oh, Lucius."
He smiled at her.
"Should I take that as an invitation?"
"If you'd like. It's ladies choice, really. I wouldn't want to put any pressure on you. I respect you far too much for that."
"Well, then. Shall we go?"
'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'
Anyone paying close attention to Lucius Malfoy at that point would have noticed a couple of things. The broad smile he wore did not reach his eyes. In fact, his eyes were full of panic. Dolores Umbridge was watching him, but her eyes were thankfully clouded by love, and she failed to notice anything but the smile on his face.
As they left the restaurant, their waiter turned to the host.
"Odd couple, that. That bloke could do far better."
"I wonder what she has on him. Must be something really embarrassing."
"Poor fellow."
"You feel sorry for him?"
"With that? Yes. Plus, he tipped quite well."
"How well?"
"Extra hundred quid."
"Shit."
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The next few hours were ones Lucius remembered only in nightmares. Thank Merlin for small favors.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
"Lucius?"
"Yes, my lord?"
"Is Dolores Umbridge a happy woman?"
"I've heard no complaints, my lord."
"That is a very good thing, Lucius. Keeping her happy will go a long way towards restoring my faith in you."
"I will do my best, my lord."
"Now, about Snape."
"Snape?"
"You're going to get him married off. After all, his bloodline is a promising one. Find him someone intelligent. Our ranks must swell, not shrink because you two are busy buggering each other."
"Yes, my lord."
"Oh, and Lucius?"
"Yes, my lord?"
"Why haven't you and Narcissa had more children?"
"She is incapable of doing so, my lord."
"Well, then, I expect you to find yourself a mistress. I want more purebloods, and you are going to give them to me. I'm sure you can find the time, now that you and Snape are no longer an item. If nothing else, find out if the Umbridge woman is still capable of having a child."
"Yes, my lord."
"You are dismissed."
Lucius bowed and left the Dark Lord's presence.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Dolohov snickered at him. Lucius hexed him, and went back to the Manor. Now how he was going to tell 'Cissa that he had to go find himself a mistress was beyond him. Some days, serving the Dark Lord was definitely not all it was cracked up to be.