The syrup for the elephants cannot be put in the vessel for the ants...

[melengro]

I'm a lot happier with things now that I've realised that, in practise of desire for sociosexual contact if not in theoretical attraction, I'm asexual and hence my opinions about sex can be not only moralised (which I'm not going to stop doing, but only because I believe that everything has moral aspects, not because of anything unique to it), but...'identity-ised', as well. It's a lot easier both on me and on other people to look at it this way. I still do have a fairly 'sex-negative' (in a world in which I was the only moral actor I'd use the term 'love-positive', but as it is, while that term works for how I perceive myself, I can tell that it's unfair to other people in much the same way that 'sex-positive' feels to me somewhat unfair) moral compass which is far from relativistic and, hence, tends towards friction with the society that I keep, which while absolutely wonderful in most other ways is also full of people who take a line on this that I find highly problematic. I freely admit that all of this has been and continues to be the case. But I'm recognising that while I genuinely do hold these beliefs it isn't why I care; I care for a reason that's actually harder to explain but drives less of a wedge between me and other people once they do understand: Because, to use an analogy that I picked up from I-remember-not-where, it's as if everybody's life revolves around the maintenance and care of pet elephants which everybody is supposed to spontaneously accrue during puberty, and I didn't get the right kind, or mine is stunted and can't walk on its own, or I genuinely feel no desire to go through the steps of sharing my elephant with anybody else even though for most people sharing of elephants is objectively important and seems to be absolutely fascinating, or it looks more like a rhinoceros or a hippopotamus than like an elephant. But I like animals in general, and I feel like a lot of people are mistreating their elephants, even though it becomes awkward to talk or write about since I know that there's a perspective there that I lack.

(Er, sorry if anybody has trouble trudging through those sentences.)

I don't know; have I gone entirely off the reservation here? I just want to make sure I have not in fact been driven insane on the nails of my own inborn asceticism or something.

(Something weird happened with my journal so I've had to do this post twice. I don't know what exactly but the formatting was odd.)