Concerning Last Post
So, my last post was kinda, well, emo, if that's how to describe it.
I will be honest, I haven't been my super happy, bubbly self in a long time. I'm not sure if that was ever who I really was. I'm a girl with some seriously deep flaws and issues that I don't know how to face or handle. I want to say that things are slowly but surely getting better for me, but their not.
I've got no one here. All my friends that used to live in Apple Valley are gone. Mollie's here, but only until August, when she goes off to college in Sonoma (I know, really, couldn't of picked something a little closer). I have on friend from Disney who lives in Victorville, but he has major issues with his phone, and isn't all that reliable in the first place. I have no way to meet people, because other then my 10 hr a week job, I never have any social interaction with anyone even remotely close to my age and not related to me. And frankly, I can't talk about certain things with my 60 year old parents. I just can't.
I hate being alone, but I can't stand being with other people. I have lost almost all control over my temper, which is very, very bad. I lash out for no reason at all. I've just gotten so sick of people accusing me of things and saying I'm not doing them correctly. My attitude now is just whatever. If you don't like the way I'm doing something, you do it. I wont help you out anymore.
I feel like such a debbie downer. Who'd wants to hang out with someone who's all moody and depressed anyway. It's like I'm my own worst enemy. Every step forward has three back.
And I have no clue how to change any of these. I'm not sure if it can. I kinda feel like it's just my lot in life, what I've gotta learn to deal with. So, in a sense, for the first time in my life, I'm giving up hope for anything better.
Now, on a happier note, a super cute pick of my puppy!
I will be honest, I haven't been my super happy, bubbly self in a long time. I'm not sure if that was ever who I really was. I'm a girl with some seriously deep flaws and issues that I don't know how to face or handle. I want to say that things are slowly but surely getting better for me, but their not.
I've got no one here. All my friends that used to live in Apple Valley are gone. Mollie's here, but only until August, when she goes off to college in Sonoma (I know, really, couldn't of picked something a little closer). I have on friend from Disney who lives in Victorville, but he has major issues with his phone, and isn't all that reliable in the first place. I have no way to meet people, because other then my 10 hr a week job, I never have any social interaction with anyone even remotely close to my age and not related to me. And frankly, I can't talk about certain things with my 60 year old parents. I just can't.
I hate being alone, but I can't stand being with other people. I have lost almost all control over my temper, which is very, very bad. I lash out for no reason at all. I've just gotten so sick of people accusing me of things and saying I'm not doing them correctly. My attitude now is just whatever. If you don't like the way I'm doing something, you do it. I wont help you out anymore.
I feel like such a debbie downer. Who'd wants to hang out with someone who's all moody and depressed anyway. It's like I'm my own worst enemy. Every step forward has three back.
And I have no clue how to change any of these. I'm not sure if it can. I kinda feel like it's just my lot in life, what I've gotta learn to deal with. So, in a sense, for the first time in my life, I'm giving up hope for anything better.
Now, on a happier note, a super cute pick of my puppy!