down south
i'm at my dad's visiting for about a week, which translates into being very spoiled and very relaxed and taking care of my littlest sister. which i love bc it's kind of like getting to be a grandma at age 20. i'm not here often enough to get too annoyed with her and i'm significantly older (she's 7, i'll be 21 in less than a month) so my stepmom told me tara and i are better than santa claus to her. it's kind of wonderful being the sister who comes into town and who gets to take her shopping, let her buy candy in the check-out at the grocery store, keep her up later than her bedtime, and bake ridiculous chocolate cakes. i'm show & tell material.
whenever i hang out w/ kids though i get this feeling that's kind of good/kind of scary that i'll be so strict w/ my kids. i don't think ppl believe me when i say that or would really think so themselves, but i swear it. i think it's bc i am a little selfish and a little short-tempered.
i go btwn thinking that things right now and perfect and great and blissful and splendid and that they'll keep being perfect and wonderful and amazing. and then sometimes i start to think that i am dumb for thinking things are so good and that they really aren't that good at all. i've gotten good recently at fooling myself into thinking things are good w/ the boy that they've been soso w/ for forever. and they kind of are. but i just sat here while my little sister did a math workbook beside me and i realized that they really aren't. i'm tired of forcing someone to like me and trying to pretend in my head that certain things are okay. bc, yeah, i always have dirty feet and my room gets messy once a day and i don't drink enough water and i snap at ppl and never have cash on me, but i'm really not disgusting. i think i'm just looking in someone for something that might never be there.
but even though i have a pseudoboyfriend who's kind of strange, i at least have the best friends in the entire, entire world. we constantly surprise me with our mix of fun, cuteness combined w/ all things redneckish. and we have the best plans for memorial day weekend. EVER. EVER EVER.
even ashley love who looked like she was going to die sunday and didn't leave her bed all day and then yelled at me and steph when we were debating ab whose car to drive to walgreen's. "HELLO!? best friends!? i'm dying here! you can get cash back from my acct, just go!"
my dad and i are cute cute cute. we took the scooter to breakfast this morning, then the museum. and then approximately 1 - 1.5 hrs after eating our big breakfast we met my stepmom for lunch and shared a cajun shrimp wrap. melbys love food. lots.
whenever i hang out w/ kids though i get this feeling that's kind of good/kind of scary that i'll be so strict w/ my kids. i don't think ppl believe me when i say that or would really think so themselves, but i swear it. i think it's bc i am a little selfish and a little short-tempered.
i go btwn thinking that things right now and perfect and great and blissful and splendid and that they'll keep being perfect and wonderful and amazing. and then sometimes i start to think that i am dumb for thinking things are so good and that they really aren't that good at all. i've gotten good recently at fooling myself into thinking things are good w/ the boy that they've been soso w/ for forever. and they kind of are. but i just sat here while my little sister did a math workbook beside me and i realized that they really aren't. i'm tired of forcing someone to like me and trying to pretend in my head that certain things are okay. bc, yeah, i always have dirty feet and my room gets messy once a day and i don't drink enough water and i snap at ppl and never have cash on me, but i'm really not disgusting. i think i'm just looking in someone for something that might never be there.
but even though i have a pseudoboyfriend who's kind of strange, i at least have the best friends in the entire, entire world. we constantly surprise me with our mix of fun, cuteness combined w/ all things redneckish. and we have the best plans for memorial day weekend. EVER. EVER EVER.
even ashley love who looked like she was going to die sunday and didn't leave her bed all day and then yelled at me and steph when we were debating ab whose car to drive to walgreen's. "HELLO!? best friends!? i'm dying here! you can get cash back from my acct, just go!"
my dad and i are cute cute cute. we took the scooter to breakfast this morning, then the museum. and then approximately 1 - 1.5 hrs after eating our big breakfast we met my stepmom for lunch and shared a cajun shrimp wrap. melbys love food. lots.