don't ever call a carny a carny
i never notice any profound change in myself on holidays. this one in particular. most times they just leave me waiting long into the night for that special sparkly feeling. that sounds lame, but it's true. the only remarkable difference in my life last night was when i was walking to the car coming back from work. this clean breeze blew through that carnival and took all the greasy dust away. it was pretty nice. hugo thinks this all translates into my search for god and metaphysical beings and my disappointment at not being able to find any but i just think i'm trying too hard.