You Are A Good Mom
By Melanie Bailey
That time of year is here again.
Mother's Day.
Mother's Day can be a tricky thing.
It is a day to honor our mothers, to show them that we love them. All too often though, a card listing the best-mom-in-the-world attributes, or a well-meaning sermon can leave a mom feeling not so special; not the best, and well... guilty.
Guilt is a common feeling among mothers.
We do our best, and yet it never seems to add up to the large than life Supermom we imagine we should be. Perhaps it's that we compare our worst to other people's best, or that we promised ourselves we would be different than our mothers (ha!), or maybe we just feel the enormous amount of responsibility for molding these little beings. It is a big job, worthy of respect and hard work. But if you've ever been less than admirable, or your children have, it doesn't make you a failure as a mother.
You are a good mom, whether you believe it or not.
If you've ever stayed up all night with a crying baby, and managed to be showered, fully dressed and chipper the next day, great for you! If however, you were unkempt and irritable the next day (well, let's face it, it was at least another week), and yet managed to keep said child fed and changed, you are still a good mom.
If you love being at home with your kids, and have your days all planned out, complete with age appropriate activities and lessons scheduled, great for you. But if you've ever wished that you could escape the house and the kids and have adult interaction at a paying job, you're still a good mom.
If you bring your kids to daycare or the babysitter and work hard to pay the bills and feed your family, good for you. But if you've ever wished you could just be there for all the little things they do, or if you like your job and you're grateful to have it, you're still a good mom.
If you've ever held your tongue when you wanted to scream at your child, great for you. But if you've ever lost it and screamed at your child... and later had to apologize and really mean it, you're still a good mom.
If you feed your child three well balanced meals a day (and they eat it!), good for you. But if you let them have cold cereal for dinner because you really don't know what you're going to make, and you know they won't eat half of whatever it would have been anyway, you're still a good mom.
If you read the suggested 20 minutes+ to your child every day, make sure their homework is done and volunteer at their school, great for you! But if you're lucky to tell the same story at bedtime, or look in their backpack occasionally, you're still a good mom.
If you've managed to keep all the good things your mom did and not repeat the things that weren't, congratulations! But if you've found yourself saying the EXACT SAME THING your mother did because you now get that it's just easier, you're still a good mom.
If you were totally confident and open when having "the talk" with your children, good for you. But if you were freaked out at having to explain everything when you weren't sure how to, and you weren't quite ready to, you're still a good mom.
If your kids still give you hugs and say, "Thank you," and, "I love you, Mom", wonderful! But if you're lucky to get any acknowledgement at all, and get an angry, "I hate you" when you say no, you're still a good mom.
If you've ever taught your children to be honest and trustworthy, and they were when it would have been easy not to be, that's awesome. But if you've caught them in a lie (big or small) and then let them deal with the repercussions, you're still a good mom.
The list could go on and on. We all have things that we would do better, given the chance, or the energy or the motivation. (They really should sell those last two in bottles.) The time is short though, and for better or worse, we are our children's mothers.
Whether they're perfectly clean with organized rooms, or grimy with all the everything strewn across the floor (and playing with the box).
Whether you've stayed up late waiting for your teenager to get home, or fell asleep trying.
Whether you've had a hard time letting them go, or could hardly wait for them to be in school, or out of the house, you are a good mom.
You are.
Because the thing we all really need most in life is love, and if nothing else, you can LOVE your children;
even when you don't like them;
even when they've made a huge mess (literally or figuratively);
and even when it breaks your heart.
You are a good mom.
And don't let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise.
Happy Mothers Day!
That time of year is here again.
Mother's Day.
Mother's Day can be a tricky thing.
It is a day to honor our mothers, to show them that we love them. All too often though, a card listing the best-mom-in-the-world attributes, or a well-meaning sermon can leave a mom feeling not so special; not the best, and well... guilty.
Guilt is a common feeling among mothers.
We do our best, and yet it never seems to add up to the large than life Supermom we imagine we should be. Perhaps it's that we compare our worst to other people's best, or that we promised ourselves we would be different than our mothers (ha!), or maybe we just feel the enormous amount of responsibility for molding these little beings. It is a big job, worthy of respect and hard work. But if you've ever been less than admirable, or your children have, it doesn't make you a failure as a mother.
You are a good mom, whether you believe it or not.
If you've ever stayed up all night with a crying baby, and managed to be showered, fully dressed and chipper the next day, great for you! If however, you were unkempt and irritable the next day (well, let's face it, it was at least another week), and yet managed to keep said child fed and changed, you are still a good mom.
If you love being at home with your kids, and have your days all planned out, complete with age appropriate activities and lessons scheduled, great for you. But if you've ever wished that you could escape the house and the kids and have adult interaction at a paying job, you're still a good mom.
If you bring your kids to daycare or the babysitter and work hard to pay the bills and feed your family, good for you. But if you've ever wished you could just be there for all the little things they do, or if you like your job and you're grateful to have it, you're still a good mom.
If you've ever held your tongue when you wanted to scream at your child, great for you. But if you've ever lost it and screamed at your child... and later had to apologize and really mean it, you're still a good mom.
If you feed your child three well balanced meals a day (and they eat it!), good for you. But if you let them have cold cereal for dinner because you really don't know what you're going to make, and you know they won't eat half of whatever it would have been anyway, you're still a good mom.
If you read the suggested 20 minutes+ to your child every day, make sure their homework is done and volunteer at their school, great for you! But if you're lucky to tell the same story at bedtime, or look in their backpack occasionally, you're still a good mom.
If you've managed to keep all the good things your mom did and not repeat the things that weren't, congratulations! But if you've found yourself saying the EXACT SAME THING your mother did because you now get that it's just easier, you're still a good mom.
If you were totally confident and open when having "the talk" with your children, good for you. But if you were freaked out at having to explain everything when you weren't sure how to, and you weren't quite ready to, you're still a good mom.
If your kids still give you hugs and say, "Thank you," and, "I love you, Mom", wonderful! But if you're lucky to get any acknowledgement at all, and get an angry, "I hate you" when you say no, you're still a good mom.
If you've ever taught your children to be honest and trustworthy, and they were when it would have been easy not to be, that's awesome. But if you've caught them in a lie (big or small) and then let them deal with the repercussions, you're still a good mom.
The list could go on and on. We all have things that we would do better, given the chance, or the energy or the motivation. (They really should sell those last two in bottles.) The time is short though, and for better or worse, we are our children's mothers.
Whether they're perfectly clean with organized rooms, or grimy with all the everything strewn across the floor (and playing with the box).
Whether you've stayed up late waiting for your teenager to get home, or fell asleep trying.
Whether you've had a hard time letting them go, or could hardly wait for them to be in school, or out of the house, you are a good mom.
You are.
Because the thing we all really need most in life is love, and if nothing else, you can LOVE your children;
even when you don't like them;
even when they've made a huge mess (literally or figuratively);
and even when it breaks your heart.
You are a good mom.
And don't let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise.
Happy Mothers Day!