nerves
I don't know at what stage I started getting nervous and doubting myself with guys that I like. I know I wasn't like this in high school, or really in college for that matter . . . but I get really nervous now and it bothers me. I'm not an insecure person in general. I'm not shy, and I know and ask for exactly what I want at least 90 percent of the time. But when I've dated someone for a while, am really happy with them, these nerves appear like clockwork and then I worry that the boy is just going to disappear. Other people usually tell me I'm crazy and think I'm looking for something to be upset about, but I'm right about these things 99 percent of the time.
The question is this, though: do I just naturally fear this fleeing, even when nothing actually *is* wrong . . . and then because I'm afraid, I act differently and somehow fulfill my worst fears by freaking out whatever guy *wasn't* freaked out to begin with? It's possible. And that possibility really annoys me.
Michael hasn't run away. In fact, quite the opposite. He took me to see Ponytail at a CMJ showcase on Tuesday, stayed over when he wasn't going to, and told me he wants to see me Saturday (tomorrow! yay!) to see Let the Right One In, and then walk me to soccer school on Sunday morning. And he brings me cds and feeds me cookies and everything has been generally fantastic for a month and a half. I just . . . I'm starting to get the nerves. Why Why Why Why Why?
If anybody has ideas on how I can shake this stupid and possibly harmful freak out, I'd love to hear.
The question is this, though: do I just naturally fear this fleeing, even when nothing actually *is* wrong . . . and then because I'm afraid, I act differently and somehow fulfill my worst fears by freaking out whatever guy *wasn't* freaked out to begin with? It's possible. And that possibility really annoys me.
Michael hasn't run away. In fact, quite the opposite. He took me to see Ponytail at a CMJ showcase on Tuesday, stayed over when he wasn't going to, and told me he wants to see me Saturday (tomorrow! yay!) to see Let the Right One In, and then walk me to soccer school on Sunday morning. And he brings me cds and feeds me cookies and everything has been generally fantastic for a month and a half. I just . . . I'm starting to get the nerves. Why Why Why Why Why?
If anybody has ideas on how I can shake this stupid and possibly harmful freak out, I'd love to hear.