(no subject)

[melanie69]

today was a pretty upsetting day for me.  i dont really no why, well i guess i do no why, its because i miss derreck so much.  i woke up around 10 and i felt ok, it seemed like it was gonna be an ok day.  i look forward to tthe mail coming everyday, bc when i talked to derreck yesterday he said he sent me some letter, but i still havent gotten them yet.  i dont no why.  so i guess after that i was upset, then i was driving around and started listening to my cd.s and it reminded me of all the times we had in my car listening to them and i started crying.  i hate everyone bc they are not him.   i try and hang out with people, but i just dont have fun and i cant be myself around them.

i feel sick right now so im gonna go sit back down and watch tv.

thanks for listening