in no regards to anyone....
Sometimes I feel like you care half as much as me. It’s probably not true, but from time to time it really does seem like it. It’s hard not to think that I’m the leftovers, that you can’t have her so you ended up with me. Sometimes when I look at you I feel like I’m gazing off at distant star. Something that once was here and now’s lost out there somewhere in the galaxy. And occasionally I even have to ask myself if you’re even here or just a hallucination. You feel like that a lot though, a hallucination. It’s hard to know if you’re real or not. I wish I knew that everything would work out and neither of us would end up getting hurt. But I can’t press any fast forward buttons so I guess I’ll just have to watch and see how this movie-like-love-story ends. Does the guy always get the girl in the end? I hate questioning you or this. I hate that I can’t trust this with my whole heart. It’s nauseating knowing that somehow someday I will screw this up, the one thing that ever actually meant something to me. I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the only good thing that’s ever happened in my life. I can’t stand knowing I’ll hurt you. I’d rather die then hurt you. Sometimes I get so scared that I’m going to say something or do something that will upset you. It makes me too weak to live sometimes. I could just lay here for days on end thinking about you. I’ve honestly never met a boy this overwhelmingly amazing.