#8: A Conversation on Commitment
Word Count: 1,250
Rated: PG-13
Comments: Takes place during one of the days Eclair was recovering from her wounds in the Pathfinder's Circle. Takes place between Eclair and Rune.
“I swear, Rune, you’re the most uncommitted person I’ve ever met!” Alva snarled angrily at his brother, who was currently lazily occupying a chair opposite Éclair. She herself was busy cleaning her pair of guns, nicknamed Junebug. Her eyes flitted to the blonde as he scolded the man across from her. “’Oh don’t worry Alva, I’ll do the chores tomorrow!’” he mimicked, his voice dripping in sarcasm. “Chores my ass!”
“Well,” Rune swung his feet down from where they were propped up, facing his brother, “I did say I’d do them tomorrow, but today is not tomorrow, now is it?”
Éclair sighed, shaking her head as she listened. Alva growled and threw the mop in his hands to make friends with the ground. “For Chrissake, Rune, you know goddamn well what you were talking about!!” In a fit of temper he kicked the pail of water over and stormed out of the house, making a point to slam the door shut.
“Hmm,” Éclair commented, leaning back in her seat to see a peek of Alva’s sullen form stomping away from the house. “You really did it this time.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything.” Rune innocently stretched back over his chair, eyeing the girl.
“That’s the point,” she said, placing one of the guns down and switching to the other. “You didn’t do anything.”
“Cleaning this house won’t do anything to help us succeed our goal,” he sulked, and she sighed, shaking her head.
“That’s true, it won’t, and cleaning my gun won’t help anything either. It’s just good hygiene, is all.”
The older boy rolled his head back, staring at the ceiling, choosing not to reply. So what if it was good hygiene if he cleaned the house? He didn’t really feel like doing it, and Alva always did it for him anyways. What was the problem?
“I think…he just wishes you kept your word.” Rune looked up at the girl, but her eyes were back on her weapon as she cleaned it again. His eyes narrowed slightly, suspiciously.
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s nothing, really…” She shrugged casually, pulling back from the conversation quickly and evidently defensive, but Rune wasn’t going to let her get away so easily.
“No, it’s not ‘nothing’! What do you mean he wishes I kept my word?” His curiosity peaked, he sat up properly.
“Nothing, I didn’t say anything!” Her voice was rash and she was starting to become nervous, reassembling her weapon. “Forget I said anything.”
“Hey, don’t do that! I’m just curious! Why can’t you tell me?” Impatiently he tapped his foot, drumming his fingertips along the table’s rough surface, leaning forward.
“I’m not doing anything; I don’t know what you’re talking about.” As the final piece slid in place, she stood up, the chair legs scraping the floor. “I’m going to go take a walk.”
He caught her wrist as she passed by, causing her to jerk and look at him suddenly.
“What can’t you tell me?” he asked her, his grip firm.
“Why can’t you just forget about it?” she snapped in return, yanking her arm out of his grasp and making her way to the door. To him, her tone revealed much more than she would have liked - clearly he was doing something wrong, and she didn’t like it.
“Éclair.” He threw himself in her way, in front of the door. “This isn’t just about Alva anymore, is it?” When her eyes flickered to the floor and she refused to look at him, he knew that was her way of silently saying ‘yes’. Disgruntled, he sighed and took her arm, leading her back to the table where she unwillingly sat back down. “Talk to me.”
Stubbornly her mouth was shut, and perhaps she was thinking of something to say, but Rune was impatient. He tilted his chair back again, running a hand through his hair, until, she spoke up. “You’re unreliable.”
Ouch. He had to admit, that stung a little. “Okay…elaborate?”
She started to fidget with her hands, clearly indicating her unease. “Well, it’s just…how am I supposed to trust you when everything you say is false? Not to be cruel or anything, but when you say some…some things, how am I supposed to know that you’re just joking? It’s not a fun feeling. How am I supposed to know if you’ll do something or not when half the time you don’t? And you get Alva’s hopes up that you’d do something, only you don’t, so he just has to sigh and let it go and nothing changes. I don’t want that - I mean, I don’t want to see that either.” Her eyes lifted from the floor and glanced at him for just a hint of a moment before settling back on the ground.
Hmm. So that was it, then. “Look, it’s just Alva. I’ll stop if it makes you so upset. I just know I can get away with it with him, so-“
“So if you could get away with it with me, then you’d do it too?”
Wrong thing for him to say. He backpedaled. “No, that’s not what I meant, I mean…he’s my brother, you know? I’m just joking around with him.”
“You mean you’re just being lazy.” She was gaining some confidence, he noticed as she shot him a look. “If you really were joking, you would’ve at least done half, not just nothing.” And she also had a point.
“Okay…okay, well…then I’ll stop. If it really makes you upset to see me being…lazy, then I’ll start picking up my end around here. Okay?”
Her face took on a pained expression that puzzled him. “No, that’s not it. You don’t get it.”
“Then why don’t you just tell me?” He pressed his palms against the edge of the table, leaning himself back again, unable to sit still, exasperated.
“You have a lack of commitment,” she stated bluntly, in a low, but vaguely hesitant voice.
“Commitment?” he said the word, almost as if it was some alien adjective though he knew exactly what she meant. Alva himself had told him he was the most uncommitted person he ever met not five minutes ago. From Éclair, though, it felt like it came from outer space and slammed on his skull with the full force of a ten ton moon rock. He was seeing stars, anyhow.
“Yeah…you tell Alva you’ll do something and then you don’t. When you tell me things, how am I supposed to know you really mean them? If I go off somewhere on a trip and you promise to do something, I know I can’t fully rely on you. I don’t know if you’ll hold your end up because you aren’t fully committed.”
“Éclair, I…” He was dazed, that much he knew. His head was reeling.
She only shook her head slowly at him, clasping her hands together, lips forming a tight line. “You asked.”
Rune sighed in defeat. “I know.”
“So I told you.”
“You did.” An uncomfortable silence settled over them for just the barest hint of a moment before Éclair abruptly stood up, her chair groaning as it scratched against the floor.
“I’ll see you later,” she said, already opening the door. She didn’t look at him when she passed by.
When it clicked shut, Rune let his head drop, slamming it against the table and he swore under his breath. I’m so stupid, he thought angrily. How could I…I didn’t even…damn it. I’m sorry, Éclair…