(no subject)
So I went home last weekend for fall break. It was so nice to just be able to not worry about school or anything really. I skipped all my classes on friday and rode home with Forbes. I got to see my mom for the first time in months but she was on her way out to camping so I only saw her for an hour or two. Friday was not bad. I voted. Wonder who I voted for...hmmm...went and ate with John and then went to the Beverage Gallery where my old english teacher/basketball coach, Mr. Hatley, was playing...It was...funny. Then I went to Alana's for movie watching with her and Mel. We watched Bruce Almighty and Sea Biscuit. Not bad. Bruce Almighty was pretty funny.
On Saturday I pretty much did nothing until late in the evening when I met Will and John. We were going to meet at some house that Clayton knew of but the cops came so we didn't go there...so instead we went to Lintz's after picking up Ryan and one of his friends. It was pretty crazy cause as soon as we got out of the car, a fight broke out in the street and one of Lintz's house mates got a machete and was waving it around at the other guys. It was nothing less than total confusion. So then later we're inside and drinking and after a knock on the door, a cop asks us about a "crowd" of people in the street. I was pretty nervous because we had open containers everywhere and pretty much everyone was hold a beer...but the cop just left. Oh well. One of Alana's friends from California was there and some how knew of a large amount of a situation and a large amount of drama that existed because of a certain ex of mine. That was...well...depressing because it brought back memories of me getting fucked over...and over. But gladly I didn't stay sad for long because Ryan came in and cheered me up. I miss hanging out with him a lot. And I extremely miss playing with stories never told...I miss playing music all around. So I've decided to start writing again because it's been to long since I've played music....but anyway, it was really great to see him and his friend was funny as shit. Pretty much the most I remember of him was him answering his phone and saying "Can't talk right now, sorry, some guy with a guitar is chasing me down the street...gotta go. Bye" and then hanging up without even looking at who it was. Good times.
I met up with Morgan on Sunday on her way home from camping. Met her friends from State. Very good to see her.
On tuesday I went back to River Mill to speak to the senior class with Forbes about college life. I don't even know where to start. They were all so stuck up...taking the whole senior thing way to far to the head. Even a kid, who's only friend and person to talk to at one time was me, didn't even acknowledge that I was there. So fuck them. They can stay on their high horses and one day realize they would be nothing anywhere other than River Mill. Whatever. It was good in a few ways because I got to see some of my old teachers and my art kids that I taught last year. No matter how shitty I'm feeling, seeing little kids that knew me only as "Mr. Ian" always makes me feel better...
So that was pretty much my fall break. It was good because my mom and I went out to eat when she came home and we talked and I dunno, it was good. Hard to explain. She's an amazing woman. It was also so great to see some of my true friends. I miss them all so much...like I miss the summer and the fun we had staying up late...sleeping on floors with the doors open. Last summer was poetry.
But still, every time I go home, it makes me realize how much I don't belong there. For example, while walking through Wal-Mart, I pass by a group of "rednecks" and over hear a comment of how I looked like a faggot...was it the scarf I was wearing? I'm sorry fashion critics that I want to keep my neck warm in 40 degree weather...it's not just that...it's people that were in my past...people that every time I see them so many things come up and I just think of how they made my life hell in one way or another. Alamance County just seems to be the home of arrogance. It's good to be away.
So I'm back here at ECU. I don't know. I'm not really feeling the greatest right now. Maybe it's the approaching winter...maybe not. Oh well.
These are my Friends, This is who they have been for always. These are my days..this is how we stay.
A view from the road...
My Art Kids
Please Don't Allow Your Voice To Fade...