unhappy medium.
Have you ever felt that you used up all your energy on an incredibly minute task and wondered why exactly it took so much out of you? That something so silly and uninvolving and simple would cause you to feel so incredibly worn down afterwards.. That such a task, one that would normally not cause you to spend any energy or much of any thought process would make you feel this way afterward.. an old beaten dog after it's very last fight. Tattered. Bruised ego, sentiment, and the feeling of having had that effort be nothing more than a waste. And why then, putting the effort in in the first place? Why then, bothering? Why then, even ever? Even now? Even still. Just to wind up feeling vulnerable. Subjecting oneself to nothing good. Hurt. Ridiculous. Stupid. Confused as ever. And as always, hopeless.
Godfuckingdammit.
Godfuckingdammit.