(no subject)
I'm losing control of my life!!!
LEAVE ME HERE 2 DIE. I had a moment like a half hour ago when I felt like maybe I was going to cry from laffs + feelings and then I was embarrassed, but like, what? Fuck that. I'm allowed to have emotional responses to stories, esp stories I've been following for five years. IDK, for all my brave talk about how you shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings, I shame myself a whole hell of a lot, but seriously, what is so bad about having and expressing feelings about characters you care for in a story you enjoy? It's OK to have feelings, Mem! Drink your celebratory glass of wine and relish the sweet pleasures of a satisfying narrative experience. Ohhhh, wow, I forgot I hadn't eaten anything in like ... twelve hours. That is some strong wine! Let's push through this before I fall over! Whoops, too late. Gonna have to do this laterally. Ha ha! Maths.
BULLET POINTS 4 FEELINGS:
1) I love the Drunk Mike conceit for a lot of reasons, like, for one: this entire relationship, and two: lolololol Drunk Mike, but also: YES, TWO PROPOSALS!!! And it's twice as meaningful the second time around what with it being Mike and all, and now he's sober which means he's making an actual willful effort to express his ~*~feelings~*~ which is just like UGH, YES, SO GOOD. Just shut up and think about how there's no way the Mike of two years ago would have allowed for an emotional display of this sort, esp not in front of their friends. There is literally nothing on this Earth that is as sexciting to me as character development and emotional honesty from characters who are traditionally constipated in the feelings department. "Did you mean exciting?" No.
2) LOLOLOLOL, AMBER DEMANDING HE PROPOSE TO HER AGAIN BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T REALLY SAY "YES" THE FIRST TIME but really it's because she wants him to propose to her properly aka not blitzed on whiskey and trying one last time to drive her away for what he thinks would be her own good (and everybody shut up again because omg 1: not the first time he's obliquely asked her if she really wants to spend the rest of her life with him knowing he's a jerk ("throw away your life for a fake relationship with an unrepentant asshole") and 2: she immediately calls him on that shit because uh excuse you, dude, but Amber is fully capable of making her own decisions wrt her life, thx, 3) which calling out means I can unironically enjoy Mike's own ~unique~ brand of noble idiot, WHEW). BUT she's also not surprised by the punchline, which blah blah, thank you, Captain Obvious, for the spellbinding breakdown of shit everybody got, but no, seriously, I love that she doesn't really have any illusions about Mike or their relationship so she's exasperated/annoyed but not surprised when instead of proposing like a normal person he informs their gestating baby that he fucked its mom. I'm p sure you're all tired of me barfing emotions about Amber and Mike, but 4 REAL THO, never over how Amber loves Mike for Mike or how she encourages him to grow (same as he encourages her to grow) w/o holding unrealistic or potentially damaging expectations/illusions. If that makes sense? They push each other to be better people, but they also love each other for who the other is, I guess is what I'm saying. Who knows what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, MORE WINE!
3) ETHAN AND ROBIN OMG :> BOTH OF THEM JUST SO HAPPY!!!! Leslie having emotions because even if she doesn't entirely understand Amber and Mike's relationship (lol) she's still a super empathetic person who cares a lot about and for her friends. Malaya just kind of like, why am I here??? which is probably what Roz is doing over in the corner, too. "I have no emotional investment whatsoever in this baby," says Malaya's face. It's OK, girl. I'm invested enough for the entire readership.
4) OK, so, when he says he's "wanted to say these words for a long time," probably he either a) made it up on the spot just to be a jerk or b) recognized the inherent hilarity to the line when he first realized he might one day be a dad, but I'm choosing to believe he's wanted to put a baby in Amber for, like, ages now. "But Mem, as just recently revealed within the pages of Shortpacked! did Mike not consider his relationship with Amber doomed on the basis that she is too good for him; thus would it not be unlikely that he would have ever seriously considered the possibility of putting a baby all up ins her womb?" I SAID MORE WINE!
5) He so totally fucked that baby's mom. He fucked that baby's mom right up. The secret punchline is, she so totally fucked that baby's dad.
OK, you might want to look away now because this next point might be kind of gross, but I have to say it; it's been building up inside me like water in a plugged sink or a more appealing simile of your choice; please write in below.
6) BUT WHAT IF PREGNANCY SEX??? Pregnant women are desireable + have sexy feelings, too, y'all. I just want Amber, five months along, to be like GOD, JUST GET ON AND THEN IN ME. Face it, Mike would be into it. He likes fucking moms. I TOLD YOU TO LOOK AWAY. They should totally do it, tho.
THX TO RAWLES FOR LISTENING TO ME ON IM WHILE I TRIED TO REMEMBER HOW TO PUT WORDS TOGETHER INTO SENTENCES. XOXOXOXO. U R the wind beneath my wings.
LEAVE ME HERE 2 DIE. I had a moment like a half hour ago when I felt like maybe I was going to cry from laffs + feelings and then I was embarrassed, but like, what? Fuck that. I'm allowed to have emotional responses to stories, esp stories I've been following for five years. IDK, for all my brave talk about how you shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings, I shame myself a whole hell of a lot, but seriously, what is so bad about having and expressing feelings about characters you care for in a story you enjoy? It's OK to have feelings, Mem! Drink your celebratory glass of wine and relish the sweet pleasures of a satisfying narrative experience. Ohhhh, wow, I forgot I hadn't eaten anything in like ... twelve hours. That is some strong wine! Let's push through this before I fall over! Whoops, too late. Gonna have to do this laterally. Ha ha! Maths.
BULLET POINTS 4 FEELINGS:
1) I love the Drunk Mike conceit for a lot of reasons, like, for one: this entire relationship, and two: lolololol Drunk Mike, but also: YES, TWO PROPOSALS!!! And it's twice as meaningful the second time around what with it being Mike and all, and now he's sober which means he's making an actual willful effort to express his ~*~feelings~*~ which is just like UGH, YES, SO GOOD. Just shut up and think about how there's no way the Mike of two years ago would have allowed for an emotional display of this sort, esp not in front of their friends. There is literally nothing on this Earth that is as sexciting to me as character development and emotional honesty from characters who are traditionally constipated in the feelings department. "Did you mean exciting?" No.
2) LOLOLOLOL, AMBER DEMANDING HE PROPOSE TO HER AGAIN BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T REALLY SAY "YES" THE FIRST TIME but really it's because she wants him to propose to her properly aka not blitzed on whiskey and trying one last time to drive her away for what he thinks would be her own good (and everybody shut up again because omg 1: not the first time he's obliquely asked her if she really wants to spend the rest of her life with him knowing he's a jerk ("throw away your life for a fake relationship with an unrepentant asshole") and 2: she immediately calls him on that shit because uh excuse you, dude, but Amber is fully capable of making her own decisions wrt her life, thx, 3) which calling out means I can unironically enjoy Mike's own ~unique~ brand of noble idiot, WHEW). BUT she's also not surprised by the punchline, which blah blah, thank you, Captain Obvious, for the spellbinding breakdown of shit everybody got, but no, seriously, I love that she doesn't really have any illusions about Mike or their relationship so she's exasperated/annoyed but not surprised when instead of proposing like a normal person he informs their gestating baby that he fucked its mom. I'm p sure you're all tired of me barfing emotions about Amber and Mike, but 4 REAL THO, never over how Amber loves Mike for Mike or how she encourages him to grow (same as he encourages her to grow) w/o holding unrealistic or potentially damaging expectations/illusions. If that makes sense? They push each other to be better people, but they also love each other for who the other is, I guess is what I'm saying. Who knows what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, MORE WINE!
3) ETHAN AND ROBIN OMG :> BOTH OF THEM JUST SO HAPPY!!!! Leslie having emotions because even if she doesn't entirely understand Amber and Mike's relationship (lol) she's still a super empathetic person who cares a lot about and for her friends. Malaya just kind of like, why am I here??? which is probably what Roz is doing over in the corner, too. "I have no emotional investment whatsoever in this baby," says Malaya's face. It's OK, girl. I'm invested enough for the entire readership.
4) OK, so, when he says he's "wanted to say these words for a long time," probably he either a) made it up on the spot just to be a jerk or b) recognized the inherent hilarity to the line when he first realized he might one day be a dad, but I'm choosing to believe he's wanted to put a baby in Amber for, like, ages now. "But Mem, as just recently revealed within the pages of Shortpacked! did Mike not consider his relationship with Amber doomed on the basis that she is too good for him; thus would it not be unlikely that he would have ever seriously considered the possibility of putting a baby all up ins her womb?" I SAID MORE WINE!
5) He so totally fucked that baby's mom. He fucked that baby's mom right up. The secret punchline is, she so totally fucked that baby's dad.
OK, you might want to look away now because this next point might be kind of gross, but I have to say it; it's been building up inside me like water in a plugged sink or a more appealing simile of your choice; please write in below.
6) BUT WHAT IF PREGNANCY SEX??? Pregnant women are desireable + have sexy feelings, too, y'all. I just want Amber, five months along, to be like GOD, JUST GET ON AND THEN IN ME. Face it, Mike would be into it. He likes fucking moms. I TOLD YOU TO LOOK AWAY. They should totally do it, tho.
THX TO RAWLES FOR LISTENING TO ME ON IM WHILE I TRIED TO REMEMBER HOW TO PUT WORDS TOGETHER INTO SENTENCES. XOXOXOXO. U R the wind beneath my wings.