gongchan/krystal | yellow roses (wip)
She feels the texture of it against the palm of her hand, the gentle scratch of it against her fingertips. It is crinkled, worn and dry. Worn out, like their love. She rotates it, the old, dried rose that was his gift to her on their 100th day. Lets it go, drop on her table, lifeless, still. Soojung sighs as she slumps on the cold surface, eyes flickering to the rose. It is a lot smaller than it used to be, radiant, spilling over in the box. The colour has faded, muted, and it does not stand brilliant and proud, as it did in its former glory. It is a lot like us, Soojung thinks, and wonders why she can’t throw it away.
Chanshik shifts through them, counting unconsciously. Paper, envelopes. Letters. The occasional card. He pulls out one without quite thinking - a birthday card. Happy 16th, his eyes find as he opens it. The ink is black, and her handwriting seems more innocent, childlike. He wonders, is that what their love is - was, like? Innocent, childish, silly. A story of their youth. He runs his fingers down the inside of the card, feeling the texture against his hand. Wonders, what did she feel and think while writing this to him? He puts it down eventually, lets it rest slightly ajar. He leans back in his chair, air rushing through his open window. Chanshik wonders why he still keeps all her words close to his heart.
Soojung is fifteen when she first talks to Chanshik. They’ve known each other for three years, throughout middle school. She has watched as a friend - not a close friend, but a friend nonetheless. Chanshik is different from her, laughing, bright. She is the opposite, reserved. They sit beside each other in Japanese class for the first time, and all Soojung can think about is how he and Minah simply broke apart and drifted away from one another one day. They manage small talk, and then two months later, he mysteriously obtains her e-mail address. Soojung doesn’t know what to think when they start talking online every day, cracking jokes constantly during class and when he visits her lunch spot (beside the lockers with Jinri) to steal her food - his stomach is a bottomless pit. She wonders if she kind of likes him. There is an abnormally cold morning in September, and Soojung ends up holding his hand.
It’s very warm.
By mid-September, all the trees have taken on orange and red filters, they are shifting ochre shades, majestic against a blue sky. It is a Saturday, and he invites Soojung to take a walk with him at school. They don’t have anything better to do that day anyway, so she says yes. Her heart beats a little faster when she sees him in front of her on the sidewalk. She thinks, about how she shouldn’t walk too fast in case she seems to eager - is she treating this as a date? They go on a long, winding walk, past corner stores and friends’ houses. He helps her over the gate into the school, bursting with the colour of autumn. On they walk, footsteps synchronised, making sure to stay in line with one another. They stop, on the grass beneath the trees. Chanshik tells her, “I like to come here sometimes, and just stare up.” Soojung expresses her distaste in favour of staying clean. He laughs, takes her hand, and lies down. She’s dragged down with him, and up she looks, then stares. It is the most beautiful blue she has ever seen.
They sit up later, he holds her hand, there is an “I like you”.
There is a first kiss.
A/N: I don't think I'll ever finish writing this - maybe, one day, not in the foreseeable future. I wrote this in a somewhat ... strange time and those who know me might be able to testify to exactly how accurate the events portrayed are.