[original fic] On Eating Habits
Back in March I asked for writing prompts, because I was feeling better than I had in a while and wanted to try my hand at some writing. I've been deeling with some severe depression off and on since November, and hadn't been able to write for longer than that.
yuzora, smart ass that she is, gave me a couple prompts that I wouldn't touch with a 10 mile stick, and then something I thought sounded fun. I got a couple hundred words in, and then ended up going back to school.
Then life happened, of which the depression was a part of. I stopped writing again.
About a couple weeks back, I picked it up again. And suddenly, it was like discovering a really good friend I hadn't talked to in years.
It was fun. I enjoyed myself. And even the story is not very long, I'm rather proud of it.
So this is for yuzora. Thank you.
On Eating Habits
In which Dragon determines to be moral, only to discover he forgot to think of the details.
"I do not suppose there are any people about?" Dragon asked Unicorn one day, as they lounged near a river in Unicorn's domain. This happened much more often than Dragon preferred, but there were few of his contemporaries that would speak to him, and even fewer that tolerated his presence.
"No, I don't much care for them," Unicorn replied, eyes scanning the woods. Dragon knew he was simply trying to find some passing centaur - Unicorn had been complaining about hunger, but was too lazy to fetch his own food. "Why do you ask?"
Dragon took a deep breath. "I've decided to give them up. I did not want to be tempted."
Unicorn's eyes flickered to Dragon briefly before turning back to the woods. “Good on you. What have you decided on instead?”
Dragon frowned, or as much as one can frown with a face full of scales. “Pardon?”
“Instead of people, to eat,” Unicorn clarified. “I mean, you do plan on eating, yes? Otherwise, this whole thing is ridiculous, and you should be ashamed to have even mentioned it.” Unicorn's perfectly white tail was now flicking back and forth in extreme agitation, and Dragon thought he must be getting rather hungry when he realized what the other beast had said. “And drat those damn centaurs! Where could they be?”
"I... do not know with what I will replace them," Dragon said with horrified realization. "I did not think about that."
“Why,” Unicorn said, turning to gaze on him with distaste, “do I even let you bother me? You are very stupid.”
Dragon snorted, a puff of smoke shooting from his nose as he did. “And you are very lazy. At least I do not starve.”
“I would not be so sure of that,” Unicorn said. “I am not the one who has decided to forego my sole source of food without thought to an alternative.”
“It is a small thing,” Dragon said, confidently. “I am sure I will find something suitable before I am hungry again.”
“Maybe I will be fortunate,” Unicorn said wistfully, “and you will not.”
And before Dragon could respond to that, a centaur could be seen in the woods. Dragon knew Unicorn would be of no more use to him that day, and sighed.
"If you will excuse me, I will take my leave now," he said to Unicorn, who in turn was already calling to the centaur.
But a few days later, Dragon had no more idea of what he could eat than he had at Unicorn's river.
"I am not sure what I can do about it," Dragon fretted to Coyote, who had come to visit. "I never gave it much thought; I have only ever ate people. What else should I try?"
"I would imagine anything you could catch,” Coyote replied, lazily basking at the mouth of Dragon's lair. “I never could understand why you only fed on humans.”
"They are very pretty," said Dragon, thoughtfully. "Beauty is important."
"In food?" Coyote said, amused. "Presentation does not mean much when soon it'll be a bloody mess."
"Presentation is important," Dragon said, indignant. "How else can you know the good from the bad? Added to which, I do not need to feed all the time. I only feel peckish a few times a week, you know. And I rather like to coordinate my food with my hoard - it makes the experience more pleasant."
"You coordinate your food with your hoard?" Coyote said, incredulous. "My, you have been spending a great deal of time with Unicorn, haven't you?"
"I do not see how my time with Unicorn would influence my eating habits," Dragon said.
"Of course not," Coyote said. "You are a very simple creature. Obviously, the influence was through osmosis."
Dragon craned his head in order to study his scales. "Is that harmful?"
"No, it merely makes you picky and prone to laziness."
Dragon thought about that for a moment. "I do not feel any different."
Coyote waved his paw in a dismissive manner. "That is the thing about osmosis," he said. "You wouldn't."
Dragon frowned up at Coyote. "That does not help me any to know. I still have not thought of a suitable replacement."
“Well,” Coyote said, thoughtfully. Innocently. “Unicorn is very pretty.”
Dragon looked at him in disapproval. “That is not very funny.”
Coyote laughed. “I was quite serious, my friend. But perhaps you are right; I would imagine his vanity would give anyone indigestion, and that is not something I would wish on you. Rabbits, perhaps? Some of them have very pretty fur.”
“Perhaps,” Dragon said slowly, turning this over in his mind. “But they are very small. I would need a large amount to be properly fed. I think this would be hard.”
“Oh, definitely,” Coyote agreed. “This is why Unicorn would be a much better choice.”
“Coyote,” Dragon said reproachfully. “He would only fill me once. And then where would I be?”
Coyote looked thoughtful. “Perhaps he could spare a centaur, or two? They do look like humans.”
That perked Dragon up. “There are many centaurs. And it is true Unicorn does not like them. Perhaps you are correct!”
"Ask him if he could spare Trevor first," Coyote said. "I've never liked him."
But when Dragon asked Unicorn, his friend became very agitated.
"No, no, no!" Unicorn shouted. "I absolutely cannot spare them, and especially not Trevor! What kind of idiot are you?" Unicorn paused. "You have been speaking with Coyote again, haven't you? What did I tell you about doing that?"
"I am sorry to have bothered you," Dragon said wretchedly, and fled.
Dragon kept to himself for as long as he could, doing what he could to ignore his rising hunger. But it had already more than half a week, and finally, he could put it off no longer.
"I am very, very sorry for this," Dragon told the human in his lair, as he placed her down nearby his hoard.
He ignored her look of terror as his stomach rumbled.
"So very, very sorry," he said to her, more wretched than he could ever remember being.
She screamed. He sighed.
"It never helps," he told her.
"Don't eat me," she said.
"Well," he said, hesitantly. "I don't want to. Do you know of anything else I might eat, besides you?"
"My father owns cows," she said, hopefully.
Dragon sighed again. "They smell badly. And cows feed you, so that your kind may make more food for me. That is what Coyote told me. So I do not think I can eat those."
"That is not a point," she said. "I will not be eating those for much longer, on account of being eaten myself."
"I am very sorry," Dragon said again, turning to sort through his hoard for something she could wear. It looked like he would be eating this person after all, so he must get her ready.
"Perhaps deer?" she said.
"Deer?" Dragon said. He paused to think about it.
"Or bears!" she said, looking at him desperately.
"No," Dragon said finally. "They would not stay still long enough for me to dress them."
"Would you not dress them after they have died?" she asked him, puzzlement making it through the quaking terror. Then she looked at Dragon strangely. "Why would you dress them?"
"Presentation is important," he said.
"In food?" she said blankly.
"Of course," he said, affronted. He held up a necklace composed of brilliant blue stones. "I think this would suit you very well," he said, looking between the strand and the girl approvingly.
"You eat gems," she stated, accepting the necklace. Dragon thought she might be dazed.
"Well, no," Dragon said. "I eat around it."
She looked at him. He made an encouraging motion with a claw.
"Please wear that," he said. "And then can you stand over here?"
He pointed to the pile of gold with small patches of blue.
"But, well, why dress them at all?" she said.
"To enhance my experience," Dragon said.
"Have you ever tried not dressing your food?" she asked Dragon desperately, her grip on the necklace tightening.
"No," Dragon said, moving towards her.
She screamed and jumped back. He paused in his movement, sighing yet again.
"Please put your necklace on," Dragon said, on the verge of whining. "I am quite hungry, and would like to eat now."
Unicorn never had problems like these, Dragon thought to himself sourly. He has centaurs to wait on him.
"But, but.... if you have never had undressed food, how do you know it does not taste as good?!"
Dragon cocked his head, thinking this over. "That is true," he said, surprised. "I do not know this. But it pleases me to have food as pleasant to look upon as my hoard. So I do not think I care. Necklace, please."
She clutched the strand, making no move to place it around her neck.
"You said you did not want to eat me," she said in a trembling voice. "Why is that?"
Dragon looked at her, agitated and starved. "I have been told it is wrong," he said to her. "That it is not proper to eat things that can think like I do. This Phoenix has said to me, and he is my friend, and I do not like to be wrong."
Those had not been the exact words Phoenix had used.
"Such a thing is simply not on," Phoenix had said to Dragon that day. "They are intelligent and living, and therefore deserving of life. How long have you fed upon them?"
And in the face of Phoenix's disapproval, Dragon had been ashamed and could not tell him. But Phoenix had asked Dragon to no longer feed upon humans, and Dragon had given his word.
"But I am so hungry," Dragon said to the human girl. "And I do not know what else to eat!"
"Maybe," she said, hesitatingly. "Maybe my father can prepare something for you? Not all food must live in order to be eaten. And you could still dress it!"
And she looked at him, pleadingly, and Phoenix's request weighed heavily on Dragon.
"I suppose," he said, slowly. "But please tell him to be quick - I do not know for how much longer I can wait."
And Dragon watched the girl flee from his lair, taking his hoard piece with her. He did not stop her from taking it - if she did not return, he would find her again and this way he did not have to bring her back to feast upon her. Yet, if she found something else upon which he might live...
He did not think he would ask for his hoard piece back, then. Its loss would be payment for her achievement.
When she returned, many people came with her. They carried large offering plates with things on them that they would tell him were food. And he fed upon these offerings, and found himself pleased.
He told the young girl to keep his hoard piece, in gratitude.
"I shall never have to hunt again," he told Unicorn joyously, upon his next visit. "They have said that if I shall keep them safe from other humans, they will bring me as much as I shall need."
Unicorn looked upon Dragon mournfully.
"I quite feel like you," Dragon said smugly, very satisfied with himself.
"You are nothing like me," Unicorn said, scornfully. "I would have already arranged tribute. And I am considerably more beautiful than you, as well."
"Tribute?" Dragon said, with a distinct lack of comprehension.
"Go bother someone else," Unicorn demanded, stomping a hoof.
yuzora, smart ass that she is, gave me a couple prompts that I wouldn't touch with a 10 mile stick, and then something I thought sounded fun. I got a couple hundred words in, and then ended up going back to school.
Then life happened, of which the depression was a part of. I stopped writing again.
About a couple weeks back, I picked it up again. And suddenly, it was like discovering a really good friend I hadn't talked to in years.
It was fun. I enjoyed myself. And even the story is not very long, I'm rather proud of it.
So this is for yuzora. Thank you.
On Eating Habits
In which Dragon determines to be moral, only to discover he forgot to think of the details.
"I do not suppose there are any people about?" Dragon asked Unicorn one day, as they lounged near a river in Unicorn's domain. This happened much more often than Dragon preferred, but there were few of his contemporaries that would speak to him, and even fewer that tolerated his presence.
"No, I don't much care for them," Unicorn replied, eyes scanning the woods. Dragon knew he was simply trying to find some passing centaur - Unicorn had been complaining about hunger, but was too lazy to fetch his own food. "Why do you ask?"
Dragon took a deep breath. "I've decided to give them up. I did not want to be tempted."
Unicorn's eyes flickered to Dragon briefly before turning back to the woods. “Good on you. What have you decided on instead?”
Dragon frowned, or as much as one can frown with a face full of scales. “Pardon?”
“Instead of people, to eat,” Unicorn clarified. “I mean, you do plan on eating, yes? Otherwise, this whole thing is ridiculous, and you should be ashamed to have even mentioned it.” Unicorn's perfectly white tail was now flicking back and forth in extreme agitation, and Dragon thought he must be getting rather hungry when he realized what the other beast had said. “And drat those damn centaurs! Where could they be?”
"I... do not know with what I will replace them," Dragon said with horrified realization. "I did not think about that."
“Why,” Unicorn said, turning to gaze on him with distaste, “do I even let you bother me? You are very stupid.”
Dragon snorted, a puff of smoke shooting from his nose as he did. “And you are very lazy. At least I do not starve.”
“I would not be so sure of that,” Unicorn said. “I am not the one who has decided to forego my sole source of food without thought to an alternative.”
“It is a small thing,” Dragon said, confidently. “I am sure I will find something suitable before I am hungry again.”
“Maybe I will be fortunate,” Unicorn said wistfully, “and you will not.”
And before Dragon could respond to that, a centaur could be seen in the woods. Dragon knew Unicorn would be of no more use to him that day, and sighed.
"If you will excuse me, I will take my leave now," he said to Unicorn, who in turn was already calling to the centaur.
But a few days later, Dragon had no more idea of what he could eat than he had at Unicorn's river.
"I am not sure what I can do about it," Dragon fretted to Coyote, who had come to visit. "I never gave it much thought; I have only ever ate people. What else should I try?"
"I would imagine anything you could catch,” Coyote replied, lazily basking at the mouth of Dragon's lair. “I never could understand why you only fed on humans.”
"They are very pretty," said Dragon, thoughtfully. "Beauty is important."
"In food?" Coyote said, amused. "Presentation does not mean much when soon it'll be a bloody mess."
"Presentation is important," Dragon said, indignant. "How else can you know the good from the bad? Added to which, I do not need to feed all the time. I only feel peckish a few times a week, you know. And I rather like to coordinate my food with my hoard - it makes the experience more pleasant."
"You coordinate your food with your hoard?" Coyote said, incredulous. "My, you have been spending a great deal of time with Unicorn, haven't you?"
"I do not see how my time with Unicorn would influence my eating habits," Dragon said.
"Of course not," Coyote said. "You are a very simple creature. Obviously, the influence was through osmosis."
Dragon craned his head in order to study his scales. "Is that harmful?"
"No, it merely makes you picky and prone to laziness."
Dragon thought about that for a moment. "I do not feel any different."
Coyote waved his paw in a dismissive manner. "That is the thing about osmosis," he said. "You wouldn't."
Dragon frowned up at Coyote. "That does not help me any to know. I still have not thought of a suitable replacement."
“Well,” Coyote said, thoughtfully. Innocently. “Unicorn is very pretty.”
Dragon looked at him in disapproval. “That is not very funny.”
Coyote laughed. “I was quite serious, my friend. But perhaps you are right; I would imagine his vanity would give anyone indigestion, and that is not something I would wish on you. Rabbits, perhaps? Some of them have very pretty fur.”
“Perhaps,” Dragon said slowly, turning this over in his mind. “But they are very small. I would need a large amount to be properly fed. I think this would be hard.”
“Oh, definitely,” Coyote agreed. “This is why Unicorn would be a much better choice.”
“Coyote,” Dragon said reproachfully. “He would only fill me once. And then where would I be?”
Coyote looked thoughtful. “Perhaps he could spare a centaur, or two? They do look like humans.”
That perked Dragon up. “There are many centaurs. And it is true Unicorn does not like them. Perhaps you are correct!”
"Ask him if he could spare Trevor first," Coyote said. "I've never liked him."
But when Dragon asked Unicorn, his friend became very agitated.
"No, no, no!" Unicorn shouted. "I absolutely cannot spare them, and especially not Trevor! What kind of idiot are you?" Unicorn paused. "You have been speaking with Coyote again, haven't you? What did I tell you about doing that?"
"I am sorry to have bothered you," Dragon said wretchedly, and fled.
Dragon kept to himself for as long as he could, doing what he could to ignore his rising hunger. But it had already more than half a week, and finally, he could put it off no longer.
"I am very, very sorry for this," Dragon told the human in his lair, as he placed her down nearby his hoard.
He ignored her look of terror as his stomach rumbled.
"So very, very sorry," he said to her, more wretched than he could ever remember being.
She screamed. He sighed.
"It never helps," he told her.
"Don't eat me," she said.
"Well," he said, hesitantly. "I don't want to. Do you know of anything else I might eat, besides you?"
"My father owns cows," she said, hopefully.
Dragon sighed again. "They smell badly. And cows feed you, so that your kind may make more food for me. That is what Coyote told me. So I do not think I can eat those."
"That is not a point," she said. "I will not be eating those for much longer, on account of being eaten myself."
"I am very sorry," Dragon said again, turning to sort through his hoard for something she could wear. It looked like he would be eating this person after all, so he must get her ready.
"Perhaps deer?" she said.
"Deer?" Dragon said. He paused to think about it.
"Or bears!" she said, looking at him desperately.
"No," Dragon said finally. "They would not stay still long enough for me to dress them."
"Would you not dress them after they have died?" she asked him, puzzlement making it through the quaking terror. Then she looked at Dragon strangely. "Why would you dress them?"
"Presentation is important," he said.
"In food?" she said blankly.
"Of course," he said, affronted. He held up a necklace composed of brilliant blue stones. "I think this would suit you very well," he said, looking between the strand and the girl approvingly.
"You eat gems," she stated, accepting the necklace. Dragon thought she might be dazed.
"Well, no," Dragon said. "I eat around it."
She looked at him. He made an encouraging motion with a claw.
"Please wear that," he said. "And then can you stand over here?"
He pointed to the pile of gold with small patches of blue.
"But, well, why dress them at all?" she said.
"To enhance my experience," Dragon said.
"Have you ever tried not dressing your food?" she asked Dragon desperately, her grip on the necklace tightening.
"No," Dragon said, moving towards her.
She screamed and jumped back. He paused in his movement, sighing yet again.
"Please put your necklace on," Dragon said, on the verge of whining. "I am quite hungry, and would like to eat now."
Unicorn never had problems like these, Dragon thought to himself sourly. He has centaurs to wait on him.
"But, but.... if you have never had undressed food, how do you know it does not taste as good?!"
Dragon cocked his head, thinking this over. "That is true," he said, surprised. "I do not know this. But it pleases me to have food as pleasant to look upon as my hoard. So I do not think I care. Necklace, please."
She clutched the strand, making no move to place it around her neck.
"You said you did not want to eat me," she said in a trembling voice. "Why is that?"
Dragon looked at her, agitated and starved. "I have been told it is wrong," he said to her. "That it is not proper to eat things that can think like I do. This Phoenix has said to me, and he is my friend, and I do not like to be wrong."
Those had not been the exact words Phoenix had used.
"Such a thing is simply not on," Phoenix had said to Dragon that day. "They are intelligent and living, and therefore deserving of life. How long have you fed upon them?"
And in the face of Phoenix's disapproval, Dragon had been ashamed and could not tell him. But Phoenix had asked Dragon to no longer feed upon humans, and Dragon had given his word.
"But I am so hungry," Dragon said to the human girl. "And I do not know what else to eat!"
"Maybe," she said, hesitatingly. "Maybe my father can prepare something for you? Not all food must live in order to be eaten. And you could still dress it!"
And she looked at him, pleadingly, and Phoenix's request weighed heavily on Dragon.
"I suppose," he said, slowly. "But please tell him to be quick - I do not know for how much longer I can wait."
And Dragon watched the girl flee from his lair, taking his hoard piece with her. He did not stop her from taking it - if she did not return, he would find her again and this way he did not have to bring her back to feast upon her. Yet, if she found something else upon which he might live...
He did not think he would ask for his hoard piece back, then. Its loss would be payment for her achievement.
When she returned, many people came with her. They carried large offering plates with things on them that they would tell him were food. And he fed upon these offerings, and found himself pleased.
He told the young girl to keep his hoard piece, in gratitude.
"I shall never have to hunt again," he told Unicorn joyously, upon his next visit. "They have said that if I shall keep them safe from other humans, they will bring me as much as I shall need."
Unicorn looked upon Dragon mournfully.
"I quite feel like you," Dragon said smugly, very satisfied with himself.
"You are nothing like me," Unicorn said, scornfully. "I would have already arranged tribute. And I am considerably more beautiful than you, as well."
"Tribute?" Dragon said, with a distinct lack of comprehension.
"Go bother someone else," Unicorn demanded, stomping a hoof.