(no subject)
Hmmm ... its interesting ... feeling like a complete outcast even when your not. When you have a love you're not sure how to express, feelings that you can't quite realize ... ideas that just cant manage to mainfest themselves. I have this love affair with music. I statement which does not begin to do it justice. Music is my life, without music my life would have no defenition. Without music I would not be who i am and frankly i dont feel like i could exist without music. Music is ingrained in my every being anddespite what everyone has ever said to me about it, that they feel the same, that they love it, or have so much fun with it .. i have never felt like anyone else truly understands what i feel. What do i hear when i listen to music? I dont know, i hear love, i hear life, i hear myself .. i see myself, i see life, i see the world ... all the pain, all the love, all the choirs of angels, all the people, all my experiances past and present. Music dosen't touch me it is within me ... it is me .. i am music .. everytime i perform or listen i just have this massive burst of emotion and wheather its happiness, frustration, or pain .. it is there .. sometimes when i perform it is more entrenched in my feelings about my performance, but i know that aside from technique issues that is my biggest holdup as an artist ... not letting it floww out of me and having fun because it is a part of me i am sharing. You know when your in love, the panges of sheer emotion you get in your heart ... thats what i feel with music. My sheer love ... i see it intertwining with the world, with nature, the world around me ... with everyone else ... everything is music .. everything is beauty .. it is all mathamatically placed, musically positioned and performed .. life is simply a symphony ... and the music that i am ...
Im not sure what brought that on, but i think it might be that even in a school known for music i dont always feel as though anyone else feels as deeply about it as i do. That could simply be concieted, but everyone else just seems to view it so nonchalontly .. and its not for me.
i dont know ... nothing brought this on except me listening to music ...
Im not sure what brought that on, but i think it might be that even in a school known for music i dont always feel as though anyone else feels as deeply about it as i do. That could simply be concieted, but everyone else just seems to view it so nonchalontly .. and its not for me.
i dont know ... nothing brought this on except me listening to music ...