aren't you such a catch? what a prize. got a body like a battleaxe.
love that perfect frown, honest eyes
ok so (how the fuck else do i start?) i get on a bus to newburgh after a very convincing million hour phone call from mary the sunday preceding (hahhaha that word sounds so funny). mary’s mom picks me up and drives me to mary’s house after a killer plan (number one out of infinite) involving a library kind of dies (even though i brought the fake flowers and was sooo ready). so i hang out with emma (who remembered me!) and michael (who reintroduced himself to me) and i hear so much interesting things about Dragontales. and then we go to mary’s school and i see mary!!! (so very deserving of exclamation points) and then we go back to mary’s house and we look at pictures, get reintroduced to my fleece (which i promptly will leave behind) and find clothes, and she takes a shower. and then evan (who i totally approve of times 10.5) comes over to mary’s house and we all go to k-mart and go on a 65$ shopping spree for our lovely friends. we got boxer briefs ( you ask why? oh whoa that’s called suspense hun), socks with animals, a pooh cup, ice breaker mints (suspense, again), a magic wand that says “what a girl wants” on the back (and is quickly altered to say “what neal wants”), a big bucket of chalk, and carebears for max (did i forget anything m? i don’t have the receipt). and then.... on to shop rite. and it was pouring rain and lightning beautiful. we got a cake (there’s suspense involved here too), a lemon that is obviously called erin, a lobster bib ( four, actually), cookie dough ( what we would have for dinner was quite a controvery because we were very indesicive regarding ice cream) and a toothbrush for bacon because he is gross and likes to use mary’s dad’s toothbrush and act clever about it). we drive back to mary’s, while eating the cookie dough and then leave once again for the track dance. i was in mary’s school and it was really exciting. well, actually i guess it was only exciting until we found about the green m&m suit that was within walking distance. (actually it wasn’t really very exciting at all but shhhh don’t tell mary ;) )so after about 25 minutes of actively NOT dancing whatsoever and mistaking some beek jerky wrappers for smarties, we get the m&m suit and head for max’s house in mahwah. so mary and i get really nervous because we have a really confusing plan (number two out of infinite), but it was really cute because we were both nervous and i still don’t know why. so after plans one through a thousand failed (these plans are all within the big plan number two [maybe subplans should start being letters or names of dogs i met this weekend]) because of nick eating an apple in the doorway. so anyways let’s fast forward to the part where i get left out on the street in the rain in a green m&m suit. so mary’s already there and i basically just walk into the house by myself. but everyone is out to ruin MCLA plans i swear and so i get to the basement and neal is like who’s there? and mary is like... eminem. so then i fall off the bed but i forget why and nick cuts himself while shaving (he’s so cute). Max, Jess, Nick, and Neal are there and after really exciting hellos, we set up secret headquarters in max’s room and organize presents. bake shows up and he goes around the circle and then hehe i love him because yeah. he makes mcla plans all worth it. so then we hand out presents to everyone. and i hope everyone liked them because it only took like all of mary’s wallet, half of my checking account and two hours to get everything. we watch fight club and nick is militant with the remote control (except for the one story he has about chris piro, which he stops everyone to listen to ). neal, bake and i attempt to put up a tent outside (actualy move it from inside to outside but have to completely disassemble it to move it) we have many issues with one of the broken wooden thing. and our feet go crazy numb but that’s okay because i got a free foot massage for it from bake once we came back in. mary and i go to the bathroom to wash our faces/brush our teeth and then proceed to take about 10 (only 2 worked i think) pictures with bake’s camera and his shoe too, along with some toilet paper that says “hi bacon!!!”. (hahahhhahahha macbeth, i love how when i think about every one of our ideas i’m like whoa we are clever. we’re cute too.) We put Jess to sleep and go outside into the tent. we hear the scariest story ever about outward bound regarding this girl who is alone in the forest and photographs herself and then when she gets back home and develops the film finds pictures of herself asleep (whoa i just got scared again... eep). so we all get attacked by the magnum 44, because, well... that’s just how being around neal at night goes. it gets cold and i go back outside and i am the only one in the (that 70s show) basement. i read the fight club dvd thing and then space out for while, meanwhile eating a large fraction of the cheespuffs (just remember that for the entire time i am eating cheese balls at a moderately constant rate) neal returns from somewhere with nick and nick goes to the bathroom and neal lets me know that i have had magnum 44 on me the entire time. so i get to the bathroom where nick is finishing up cleaning his face. oh right so i ask nick how to get it off, and he says “ you just gotta scrub. a lot” but he says it soooo seriously and he is definently the most unintentionally funny kid in the world. so after the magnum 44 is removed, neal and i go on a search for his car keys and eventually i give up and lie on the ground and just order him around the room for places to look for them. i think i nodded off at this point. oh but i needed a blanket and there was only one and nick was on the couch and didn’t seem like friendly person to sleep on top of, so i sleep on the floor with half the blanket on me ( i wake up having stole the whole thing). we wake up and immediatly jess and neal are on an adventure making pancakes in the kitchen. the smoke alarms goes off, and the pancakes were terrible. but there were some mighty good fruits. the boys disappear and the girls go to the kitchen (right where we belong, right?) bara shows up but we are certainly very mesmerized by dustpans and paper towels and the fact that the kitchen is so gross so we have a late arrival on the bara train. (this means that you can get another summary of the weekend here. we play video games forever. tons of race car driving, (one time i got 3 out of 4, instead of 4th but just because neal got disqualified but shhh) and i lost every game of smash brothers (the ending tally was def. me dead 12 times to bara’s one death), and then 10 minutes of south park battle, except during the whole thing, neither of us actually came in contact with eachother, and, most of my time was spent stuck in this little alley thing with absolutely no idea how to get out. when i played against max he definently beat me into a pulp (actually he got a cow stuck on my head and i couldn’t see anymore). mary and i decide that we really ought to bring our chocolate chip cookie cake with frosting roses on it that we bought at shop rite. too bad half of it was eaten. at this point we connect two very seemingly unrealted things: the half eaten cake, and max’s dog, which had evidently maken an appearance with some red substance on it’s face that had been likened to blood by neal. yeah so the dog eat our freaking cake. we were told later that the dog got really sick that day. after that we head onto the park near max’s and the first stop is this abandoned building. and, as bara said i was to scared i was going to fall all 8 feet and end up dead so i tried to pass myself off as the noble picture taker. so i nobly took pictures while eating lucky charms and all my wonderful friends were so cute and i love them because they were there and i was there and it was happy and yeahhh. so then we walk some more and end up near this high current creek. the boys decide they want to sit on this bench that is sitting in the middle of it and decide to take the most outabout route to get there that exists. they leave all of their stuff with us, and in the meantime we just have to walk away from them so we “go on a search for a good place to have a picnic” while the boys are shouting so loud to try to get us back with their shoes. we end up at this intersection and take the right route and actually DO find a nice place to eat. then we have the sudden realization that we look like 4 hobos walking on a path in the park trying to find a nice place to sleep tonight. we have a ton of cameras so we get these two guys who think we were trying to hit on them and they take pictures with everyone’s cameras. “so why did you look like hobos?” you may ask. first, we have 4 extra pairs of shoes, and two blankets. we have one sewing kit, 3 dirty pairs of socks (bacon wears his birks EVERYWHERE), one bag of lunch meat and cheese, and a large plastic bag of just cut up french bread. so we walk back and we think we are real sneaky and that they have already been to the bench and back, but really they haven’t even got to the bench during our whole expedition. so they DO eventually get there and all these people keep stopping and we get to feel all proud of our boys for getting all the away out there. after a large number of pictures of them, a moderate percentage immediately exposed (whoops, but hey i fixed it by drawing on them with sharpie) on the submerged-in-water bench, they decide that they need sharpies to write on the bench, which waddyaknow, mary was smart enough to steal out of max’s room, leave under the towels in the bathroom and then give them to me to keep in bake’s sweatshirt that i am still wearing at the park(i love how all of us are gross and never change/take showers when are together, and also how it takes us a ton of convincing to even go brush our teeth) so i have 3 sharpies (i don’t know where one of them went), one of them, the red one, ended up stuck in this whirlpool current (and probably still is) becuase i can’t throw anything for my life. the black one jess throws (i think?) to them next and they somehow catch that one and sign their names on the bench. and then very unclimactically, they find out they could have gotten to the bench really easily by just walking directly towards it. their socks and shoes are returned and we walk on to eat really quickly so we can get home by 4, and don’t even get the spot that we had “gone searching for” before. a fourth of us are kosher and can only eat the cheese. at this point i made the realization that we were, without a doubt, that group that you see and are really jealous you aren’t part of their intense cuteness. so anyways, we run back to the parking lot and we all get back to max’s right before jess’ dad arrives. we say our goodbyes and hug our hugs, and then run after the car down the street. we go back inside, and the boys + bara take their spots back on the couch in the basement to play video games and mary and i go back to max’s room with plan 3 ready to go. we can hear every word/ video game noise so we dont really have to worry about anybody walking in and seeing our awesome plan/gifts (it helped the one time we heard neal say really loudly “where are mary and chiara? we so need to ambush them.”) so our plan is (drum roll) to make boxer-briefs for all four guys. so here’s the summary: neal’s front said “what girls want” (just like the pink wand we gave him), on the back said “NEAL” and then under it said “? rorrim eht ni ttub ruoy ta kool netfo uoy od” except backwards letter-wise too. and on the sides it says “you are not your fucking khakis. you are your underwear. it says abuabuabuaubaubaub on it somewhere too. then nick’s says “NONONOONONON” in a circle around the whole thing and then inside the flap it reads “no. seriously, we mean no. and then it says on the front “isn’t it interesting how anything we wrote here would be interpreted as really dirty no matter what?” it has the mirror thing too (all of them do). and then it also says “rhymes with..... ‘i don’t get it!’”. max’s talk about how he is as cool an ice cube, and how he should be ice cube fruit when we play fruit. it also has a thermometer but mary tried to emphasize how the thermometer would in no way be mistaken with something else. the inside thing says “and now for something completely different.” bake’s are the best of them all, because they were so easy because mary and i made up a song with him over the summer. the front flap says “isthumus be someone’s really lucky bay” (and that someone isn’t the landmass that won the lottery). inside it, it says “so... are your lucky charms on the ground?” and now i will invite you to get that image out of your head (mary stop thinking like that, you so just did), and move on with life. the back, instead of saying alexandre, it says marc fairmount because that is his hooker name (we figured them out on the train to stamford in august). it also has the line about the khakis thing, but instead of underwear it says “fucking underwear” which mary and i thought was sooo clever at the time hahhaa. it also says somewhere that “hope is good thing perhaps the very best of ThIngS” because that quote sucks and there is an arrow pointing. all the inside of the elastics read “self-improvement is masturbation. - fight club”. which in order to quote i had to go back to the basement, find the dvd, pick up and walk out. the entire trip of which everyone in the room was too mesmerized by the video games to actually take notice of. on the way out we make max’s mom hate us even more when we walk past the kitchen, thinking she is in the shower (i still don’t understand why the shower was running), and say how we think there should be a door in the kitchen but there never is. so we give out our presents, but half the population is trying to beat up a prostitute in grand theft auto, and the other half of the room is mesmerized watching it. we get news that dot will make an appearance soon which was wonderful because i had not seen her since july 13, the last day of cty, and the first cty reunion of the year. we wait in the living room which was weird because we never really went to the living room very often. so when dot gets there it is super (i almost just said ubersuper, bara) and she gives me a green amazing guster shirt, and i give her two years of christmas/hannukah presents (dot bracelets). we try to decide on where to go out to dinner, but anyone who has any opinions gets yelled at (Ahm ahem me) so we go out to friendlys, and there are eight of us by now: nick, max, bake, neal, bara, mary, dot, and i, so we fit into two booths next to eachother and they take out the glass slide in the middle so we are exactly like 1 table, except. wait. we aren’t. so anyways, nick is sick and walks around outside and we send out a seach party and once he is found, he is put into neal’s car and we make a get well card for him on a napkin with crayons. i sent out a fortune teller for everyone to write in. i have it next to me write now so i can read it. ok. ready? “YOUR TEETH WILL TURN PURPLE <---NOT LIKE THAT THOUGH”, “one day in your life, you will be somewhere.”, “You will explode from too many cheeseballs”, “one day you will marry someone pretty (pretty funny, pretty funny looking!)”,“Two words. Explosive. Diarhea.”, “Some day some ketchup will fall on your head”, “You will be forced into becoming a crackhore, selling your body for many years, until one day a man named Gus is your customer and cuz of his lack of money, kills you and rapes your dead body.”, “You will become a bum and live in a hobo jungle, and all the other bad things in this fortune teller will happen too”. i love how you can totally tell who wrote what. the service is so bad so we are sitting there from 9:20 till 11:30 i think. mary and i split chickennnnnnnnnnn. and my ice cream melted, because they forgot to give it to me for so long. and i dont’ remember what anyone else got except bara because she was so embarassed about saying “munchie mania”, but maybe it was max’s actually. so we pay and leave eventually. we get back to max’s and dot’s parents isn’t there yet so we watch it came from beneath the quad which was so cute and mary runs into a tree 4 times during it and noah walks funny and ryan fox is just weird in it and it is really cute and remember that scene when they end up dancing in the middle of bolton? ahh i’m thinking about it and almost crying laughing. ok and then dot has to go and we say hi to her family. and then we run after her car too and then we have 7. we find out at this point that the dog has finished completely the cake we bought at shoprite for 7 dollars. mary and i return to the basement and see that they have all started watching 40 days and 40 nights because i guess there is this scene at the end when there is a “sea of breasts” (way to go bara.) mary, neal (our only follower), and i make up a no tv club and have fun in non boring ways, and once they realize that they missed the part they were looking for, the rest of them are fine with joining in too on the no tv club. at this point we have a photo shoot and all the guys actually put on their briefs over their pants and bara, mary, and i can’t stop laughing and we keep on falling over because it is seriously just too funny. so we have about 20 blackmail pictures spread out over about 7 or 8 cameras. after this point, i think bake fell asleep. which was actually awesome because then soon after nick fell asleep and we tried to play games where bacon would kick nick in the face. and then we cut up erin (the lemon) and waved it under nick’s nose and he kept on sneezing (four times), just to fuck with his dreams. he looks like a philosopher. you see, after a while he started holding onto bacon’s feet and when bake moved his feet away nick sits up, still sleeping mumbles angrily something about “where’d they go?!?!” and then falls backafter into this perfect thinking position, with one hand on his hip and the other supporting his head. about 5 or so minutes later he has a thought, partially sitting up an then falls over again. and then neal nods off and when he wakes up we are talking about belly shirts because we are supposed to be fooling bacon, who is also just waking up, that we werent actually tickling his feet for the purpose of kicking nick/neal (too, by this point). so neal wakes up and says “what did you guys write on my face?” we just have to play along because this is too good of an opportunity to lose, when he completely brought it upon himself. we burst out laughing which completely translates into “of course we did” to him. so then, he asks us if the fantastick that is on the table was involved in any way. to that we say “eh. not much. i wouldn’t worry too much.” and mary sniffs his hairs and replies with “mm but lemony fresh!” he freaks and we ask to take a picture. so, yes we have one picture of neal running with his face covered towards the stairs, and he is covering up absolutely nothing. he comes down feeling even more stupid than he would if he actually DID have anything written on his face. by the time he comes back, bara, mary, and i have taken over the mattress and only left blanket. max nods off sometime during this point. we have 3 blankets for 7 people, because the rest of them are still in the tent. max has one, nick and bake have one, and there is one on the mattress. somehow after quite a shuffle, i end up on the couch with neal, mary is sitting on the floor with neal’s head asleep on top of her, and maxs head on her lap who is now sleeping on the mattress with bara. this is a problem, because it is time for plan 4. i can get out pretty easily, but mary is stuck under two people. so i pull sleeping max by the feet away from mary, who is after that awake max. but after a quick convincing involving only telling him “go back to sleep max” and he is soon back to sleeping max. and then neal is pushed off onto a pillow. bara is still awake and a very good coordinator of sleeping boys, and announcer of who is stirring at what time. so plan 4 is basically to leave bandaids everywhere and fuck with peoples stuff. we find neal’s car keys in his toiletries bag (where of course it belongs?) so we write on all the bandaids stuff like “maude and macbeth were here” and put them on toothbrushes and tvs, and then move boxers from one bag to another and pants from bacon’s bag into neals. and we fill everyone’s pockets with bandaids and write on forks, spoons and knives “maude and macbeth love you.” we leave them in everyones things and all over max’s room’s floor. the entire time nick is being the most uncooperative sleeping and keeps on standing up and mumbling. the first (of 8 times) that he gets up we freak out and fall onto the floor and act like we are sleeping on the floor. we make up this complex plan that if he does get up and sees us not asleep we wouldn’t say anything or look at him, we’d just dance around and try to convince him he was asleep the entire time, just dreaming. then we go out to neal’s car and take out all the cds in his 6 cd changer, move his cd pack, and then leave plastic wear all over the dashboard of his car, and leave a bandaid on the back of his car that when reflected in the front mirror says “LOSER”. and leave a paper plate that says “maude and macbeth were undoubtedly here.”. then we go on a search for a pair or scissors, and you must remember that by this point it is way past dawn and we have gotten absolutley no sleep. we finally find some in the bathroom behind a cup. we go down stairs and cut up plates to make a scavenger hunt. instead we just leave parts of the plate on the stairs, and since i have them in my backpack (i haven’t unpacked) i can tell you what they said. i guess they aren’t in order anymore but anyways: “number of people that had to be removed from mary: 2.”, “number of bandaids used: 30”, “number of plans that involved the use of ‘interpretive dance to the beat of the water pipes’ to confuse wakers: 2”, “number of times we watched bacon and nick kick bara on the ass: 382138493274579304218437213847347128743 times ten to the 11th power.”, “number of times Nick sneezed after sniffing erin: 4”, “number of times nick woke up and started to sleep talk/walk: 8”, “number of trips to the front yard: 2”, “number of times touching your face will tell you if it has been written on: 0”, “number of times we paniched about nick”, “number of times we stepped in the ‘small’ wet spot: 6”, “number of cds played before everyone went to sleep:6”, “number of cheeseballs eaten: 1”, and “number of hours we’ve slept tonight:0”. so then after all that, it is i think 8 or 9 in the morning, and we decide it is finally time for some sleep. then we realise that every place to sleep is already taken. so we go up to the living room and i bring a bunch of sweaters as covers, becuase other wise we don’t have any at all. so i am already on the sofa and mary is doing last minute stuff, and she comes back and urst outs laughing because she realizes that after all that we are definently about to go to sleep on a sofa covered with about 5 sweaters. and then we sit there and try to figure out an alarm system to wake us up so we’ll still have time to do stuff before we have to leave. we constructed multiple systems. for example we opened the blinds to the window we were sitting next to. and uhhh of course that’ll wake us up. i dont know how but at the time it made a ton of sense. and then other plan was to let the cd player get louder, which it always does?? hahahahah we are so funny because yeah at the time it seemed like it would make sense that we could organize that to happen. we must have slept for say 10 minutes before for some reason we decide to move to max’s bed (mary why did we move? i remember you being like “max’s mom cleaned off his bed so we can go there”, but i don’t remember seeing her). so anyways we are trying to fall asleep on max’s bed now but literally every minute the stupid dog(sorry i call it stupid but it ate our cake) would come into the room, get up onto the bed, start licking on us and then run outside and then one minute late it would come back. very quickly we gave up on this plan and just went back to the basement. at this point the entire room is informed that there are krispy kremes upstairs and so everyone runs upstairs except for us who realize that now there is space to sleep. so we try and fall asleep but the dog actually followed us and scared both of us, but scared mary more funny because she had her eyes closed already and then the dog walked over to her and she opened her eyes and the dog was like RIGHT THERE. so anyways, atleast they liked the stairs, and they hed seen a few of the bandaids by then (but not the full extent of plan 4 bwahahhahaha). we eat our last breakfast together and i kept on trying to get rid of part of my donut and i was so out of it at the time that i kept on putting it on max’s plate and thinking i was the sneakiest person ever. it is time for mary to leave. we deconstruct the tent, and then take last pictures and mary goes and this is very sad because i miss mary. and then like 20 minutes later we had to bring nick and bake to the bus station. and once we said goodbye to them too, we got into neal’s car and they started playing this song by okgo called get over it or something and i started crying so hard because someone was like “this is bacon when he is mad” and i was like omgasdjfk this IS bacon when he is mad and i am not going to see mad bacon for a long time and yeah so i started crying so hard even though i tried really hard to stop. and nick, i miss that kid he is definently the most unintentionally funny kid in the world. so then it is bara, max, neal and i left. we try to pack but fail because instead neal and max go to find directions to bara’s house because bara sure as hell can’t get us there ;), and then because they are gone bara and i slack off with the packing and just sit on the couch and talk. they come back like half an hour later and we are no more packed than before. we finish with packing and then head off to burger king because it is lunch time by then. we got a lot of chicken nuggets and they were in funny shapes, and neal (remember this for later) gets this king sized thing or dr. pepper. and i mean this thing is GIANT. bara also got this cool kids meal toy of plankton from spongebob squarepants that spins and goes wooo wooo wooooooo and sparkles and stuff. so back to the car we go playing okgo (we ought to buy you cadillac HEY!) and soon we are at max’s again. we drop him off home and almost convince his mom that this is the last of us and she is safe now from the craziness entailed in housing us for three days. but WAIT. on the way back into the car bara manages to tip the ENTIRE THING OF DR PEPPER into the back seat of neal’s car. so there, you must imagine is this large puddle of dr pepper sitting in the seat of a car with superabsorbant seats. we start taking it out by the cup full and neal runs into the house and we can’t tell if he is pissed off or okay. he comes out of the house with paper towels and the biggest forced smile on his face. neal is such an amzing kid for keeping his cool. ksjdf k he is so great. he said something allong the lines of “it is a material thing. it does not matter. it does not matter. it does not matter. right??” so about 5 minutes later the puddle is gone but you can still push on the seat and all the soda makes a puddle where there is usually air (does that make sense? it is hard to explain) so max and i play with a bouncy ball in the middle of the road for a while and after about an hour, we finally consider it done and head out after saying our real goodbyes to max. he runs after the car :). the plan is to take bara home about a 45 minute ride according to map quest. right. so it takes 2 hours. we have terrible directions and end up circling it every circular driveway that exists in the county i swear. we listen to early 90s music which is always good. and at one point bara’s mom even tells us to go the wrong way so we kind of end up going in the direction of this one beach near long island sound and so we go to it. and it was so exciting to see the tan and white driving signs for the beach and it was actually a really nice beach and it was quiet because it was almost dark by that point. so we got someone to take a picture of us there and then neal made a memorial to sept 11th (??) in the sand. and we trade shells and then i fill the ice breaker box (that i bought on friday but is now completely gone) with sand from the beach and we go back on the road. hehe a REAL beach!!! that’s so exciting to me, sorry. still. ok so then we actually get there. and we decide to go around in a circle around this really fancy house with a sculpture in the middle and bara hides and is scared because they are her neighbors. so then we get to see bara’s house (we were the first of he friends.. woo!!) and jump on her bed which is like 943923423 feet tall and i have to get a running start to get onto. bara gave me this really cute picture of alan and i dancing through the streets of new york in december that i love. and then i notice that the letter i wrote her like a year ago is on her wall which made me so ohappy. we go online and tell bara’s friend that she is supposed to visit that she can’t because she has no ride so she can go with us. neal and i run around on chairs torturing her 1 foot dog (it runs funny hehe).and then we have to caffenite tired neal so we give him tons of coke and i test him on his multiplication tables. we head off to neal’s house. again, okgo playing SOO loud the whole way. we get there and after half a bowl of cup of noodles we have a new plan to go visit mer siller in new canaan. we get there and attack her and she gives us food and try to tell her about the night before and neal eats chocolate frosting off a knife and then mer gives bara and i clothing to wear because we are soo gross. and then i talked to mer about lots of stuff and there was this one story she told me that i was sooo into and i was seriously suspensified if that is a word. she let me borrow these pants that have pez all over them and a yellow shirt with a big cartoon lobster named clarence on it. and then we go to this big nice room where mer has a tv and a computer. neal starts torturing people online and bara watches the oscars and then i realize my sister called back about this joke i wanted to tell neal and bara in the car when you ask about how you get an elephant into a refrigerator and the answer is to take the r out of tree and the f out of way. so there is no f in way ;) and only neal understood it and it finally kicked in for mer and bara like 10 minutes later. at 11:30 we had to go so we did and we said our goodbyes. ( i miss you supercali MERSILLER fragilisticexpealidiouscious). so then we drive back, all the while listening to get get get get over it when i get to scream hos! at the beginning and on the way there to mer’s, neal went 80mph and it scared me shitless so he promised to only go 75 mph which at the time seemed very comforting. so we end up back home at neal’s by midnight finish up our cup noodles and go up the neal’s room and get ready for bed (we also made a post you can see here. bara and i sleep in a different room and the next morning we have half an hour before we have to leave for the stamford train station. i take like a 20 minute shower (sorry, bara) because i kept on falling asleepin the shower. well i ended up everything like my toothbrush, face wash, EVERYTHING in there and bara had like half a second to shower. we get to the stamford train station and bara takes off at 9:11 back to fairfield and at 9:07, neal and i leave for new york to look at colleges. on the train we read the paper and scare away everyone near us. once we get to grand central, our first stop is a hot dog stand. i get a sprite and a hot dog, and he gets two. we sit on the sidewalk and enjoy breakfast. we call michelle and tell her we want to come to her house and take a nap. we never actually went. we try to find nyu, end up missing the last tour till 2 and just get name tags and try to give ourselves a fake tour of nyu and see if anyone would ever join in “and this sculpture was constucted in 1669 by pochahontas” “uhhh no it wasn’t” “SHUT UP”. so we sit in washington square park after giving up on finding the tour and talk. we write on our name tags everyone who was at the reunion’s names and then their locations. next to nick’s it reads “ROB ME!!!”. so if anyone is ever an wahington square park, let me know if we are still there in the form of 2 name tags. then we walk to the subway and on the way stop at this little juice bar, get a peach and banana smootie and a pita gyro chicken sandwich with onions, hot sauce, and lettuce. we sit at one of the tables and neal makes me figure out how to get to columbia. too bad he told me the WRONG STOP. anywho we end up in the middle of harlem. well maybe not middle but it certain wasn’t the safe outskirts that he told me they were. we go to the edge of central park and sit near the duck pond and tell stories about trains and planes and people. at that point it was about 1:30 and we start walking in the wrong direction to columbia. some old guy tries to convince us that we want to take the bus and then we explain that we aren’t taking the bus, and then he is like well, if you DID want to take the bus you just have to do this.... and then we walk away. we end up having to RUN about a mile maybe ( i dunno i’m a bad estimator) and then after that we reach this giant hill on the edge of columbia and we have to go up SO many stairs. after stopping at every possible wrong building on the columbia campus and then not even being able to follow signs within the right building we end up at the admissions meeting about 10 minutes after 2. neal and i write notes back and forth on the notepad we brought to look professional about essays and neal figured out the actual percentage that they take (5.8222222222222222%). and then i keep falling asleep and one time my head almost collapsed to my right where there was some random person that i probably annoyed so much. so then we go on a tour of columbia which by the way i am in love with. and then i explain to neal about the lwh of the volume and how the h is the big one on the campus and he is like yeah chiara you are in a freaking city and then i get the gum i am chewing stuck to the roof of my mouth and neal is laughing at me the whole time because i seriously can’t get it unstuck. after that i get my stuff from neal’s dad’s car who drove to see the admission meeting at columbia. neal carries my overstuffed backpack because he is wonderful yo. we take another walk around campus because it is so beautiful and then take the subway to times square. we find the philly cheese steak place he likes and he got a philly cheese steak. we go to sbarro and i get some pizza. nick calls us and we talk to him for a while and then we start constructing letters to the future. one of them talks about we just talked to nick on the phone and he is a funny kid because when he says something that sounds sarcastic, he means it seriously. the second one was hilarious because neal wrote it. the whole time he kept on talking about how letters were always to the future and he was like wooo am i not the most intelligent kid ever haha and so anyways back to the letter. it was all romantic and from nick oh neil and to alexandre and it is dated august something, 1783. and it talks about how now that the american revolution is over, we can finally see eachother again!!!!!!!!!!! and to quote shakepeare “you got a body like a battleaxe. HEY! get get get get get over it”. and then we made an envelope for it that is addressed to alexandre bay-coane, 1081 Seventiieeighth street, i forget what city it was to, because we kept on fighting over what new york was called back then. it was mailed from the sbarro, 393JK. which neal thought was clever until he realized we should have said THE ARMY, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. anyways we left it in the woodchips that sbarro feeds their fake plants. if anyone ever wants to check if it is still there, it is at the sbarro in times square and it is in the basement in the corner towards the wall you come in on. check it out, and right us a note or something and hide it well deep in the woodchips. and then i had to go catch my train back home so we walked to penn station and we were actually early so we sat in the place we waiting for nick back in august. i left on the 7:10 train to albany.
i love you, tell me what i forgot. seriously, because this took me literally probably 5 or 6 hours to write. you can take two minutes and write me a comment.
you are not your fucking khakis. you’re your fucking socks. there is no f in way you know how much i love you.
ok so (how the fuck else do i start?) i get on a bus to newburgh after a very convincing million hour phone call from mary the sunday preceding (hahhaha that word sounds so funny). mary’s mom picks me up and drives me to mary’s house after a killer plan (number one out of infinite) involving a library kind of dies (even though i brought the fake flowers and was sooo ready). so i hang out with emma (who remembered me!) and michael (who reintroduced himself to me) and i hear so much interesting things about Dragontales. and then we go to mary’s school and i see mary!!! (so very deserving of exclamation points) and then we go back to mary’s house and we look at pictures, get reintroduced to my fleece (which i promptly will leave behind) and find clothes, and she takes a shower. and then evan (who i totally approve of times 10.5) comes over to mary’s house and we all go to k-mart and go on a 65$ shopping spree for our lovely friends. we got boxer briefs ( you ask why? oh whoa that’s called suspense hun), socks with animals, a pooh cup, ice breaker mints (suspense, again), a magic wand that says “what a girl wants” on the back (and is quickly altered to say “what neal wants”), a big bucket of chalk, and carebears for max (did i forget anything m? i don’t have the receipt). and then.... on to shop rite. and it was pouring rain and lightning beautiful. we got a cake (there’s suspense involved here too), a lemon that is obviously called erin, a lobster bib ( four, actually), cookie dough ( what we would have for dinner was quite a controvery because we were very indesicive regarding ice cream) and a toothbrush for bacon because he is gross and likes to use mary’s dad’s toothbrush and act clever about it). we drive back to mary’s, while eating the cookie dough and then leave once again for the track dance. i was in mary’s school and it was really exciting. well, actually i guess it was only exciting until we found about the green m&m suit that was within walking distance. (actually it wasn’t really very exciting at all but shhhh don’t tell mary ;) )so after about 25 minutes of actively NOT dancing whatsoever and mistaking some beek jerky wrappers for smarties, we get the m&m suit and head for max’s house in mahwah. so mary and i get really nervous because we have a really confusing plan (number two out of infinite), but it was really cute because we were both nervous and i still don’t know why. so after plans one through a thousand failed (these plans are all within the big plan number two [maybe subplans should start being letters or names of dogs i met this weekend]) because of nick eating an apple in the doorway. so anyways let’s fast forward to the part where i get left out on the street in the rain in a green m&m suit. so mary’s already there and i basically just walk into the house by myself. but everyone is out to ruin MCLA plans i swear and so i get to the basement and neal is like who’s there? and mary is like... eminem. so then i fall off the bed but i forget why and nick cuts himself while shaving (he’s so cute). Max, Jess, Nick, and Neal are there and after really exciting hellos, we set up secret headquarters in max’s room and organize presents. bake shows up and he goes around the circle and then hehe i love him because yeah. he makes mcla plans all worth it. so then we hand out presents to everyone. and i hope everyone liked them because it only took like all of mary’s wallet, half of my checking account and two hours to get everything. we watch fight club and nick is militant with the remote control (except for the one story he has about chris piro, which he stops everyone to listen to ). neal, bake and i attempt to put up a tent outside (actualy move it from inside to outside but have to completely disassemble it to move it) we have many issues with one of the broken wooden thing. and our feet go crazy numb but that’s okay because i got a free foot massage for it from bake once we came back in. mary and i go to the bathroom to wash our faces/brush our teeth and then proceed to take about 10 (only 2 worked i think) pictures with bake’s camera and his shoe too, along with some toilet paper that says “hi bacon!!!”. (hahahhhahahha macbeth, i love how when i think about every one of our ideas i’m like whoa we are clever. we’re cute too.) We put Jess to sleep and go outside into the tent. we hear the scariest story ever about outward bound regarding this girl who is alone in the forest and photographs herself and then when she gets back home and develops the film finds pictures of herself asleep (whoa i just got scared again... eep). so we all get attacked by the magnum 44, because, well... that’s just how being around neal at night goes. it gets cold and i go back outside and i am the only one in the (that 70s show) basement. i read the fight club dvd thing and then space out for while, meanwhile eating a large fraction of the cheespuffs (just remember that for the entire time i am eating cheese balls at a moderately constant rate) neal returns from somewhere with nick and nick goes to the bathroom and neal lets me know that i have had magnum 44 on me the entire time. so i get to the bathroom where nick is finishing up cleaning his face. oh right so i ask nick how to get it off, and he says “ you just gotta scrub. a lot” but he says it soooo seriously and he is definently the most unintentionally funny kid in the world. so after the magnum 44 is removed, neal and i go on a search for his car keys and eventually i give up and lie on the ground and just order him around the room for places to look for them. i think i nodded off at this point. oh but i needed a blanket and there was only one and nick was on the couch and didn’t seem like friendly person to sleep on top of, so i sleep on the floor with half the blanket on me ( i wake up having stole the whole thing). we wake up and immediatly jess and neal are on an adventure making pancakes in the kitchen. the smoke alarms goes off, and the pancakes were terrible. but there were some mighty good fruits. the boys disappear and the girls go to the kitchen (right where we belong, right?) bara shows up but we are certainly very mesmerized by dustpans and paper towels and the fact that the kitchen is so gross so we have a late arrival on the bara train. (this means that you can get another summary of the weekend here. we play video games forever. tons of race car driving, (one time i got 3 out of 4, instead of 4th but just because neal got disqualified but shhh) and i lost every game of smash brothers (the ending tally was def. me dead 12 times to bara’s one death), and then 10 minutes of south park battle, except during the whole thing, neither of us actually came in contact with eachother, and, most of my time was spent stuck in this little alley thing with absolutely no idea how to get out. when i played against max he definently beat me into a pulp (actually he got a cow stuck on my head and i couldn’t see anymore). mary and i decide that we really ought to bring our chocolate chip cookie cake with frosting roses on it that we bought at shop rite. too bad half of it was eaten. at this point we connect two very seemingly unrealted things: the half eaten cake, and max’s dog, which had evidently maken an appearance with some red substance on it’s face that had been likened to blood by neal. yeah so the dog eat our freaking cake. we were told later that the dog got really sick that day. after that we head onto the park near max’s and the first stop is this abandoned building. and, as bara said i was to scared i was going to fall all 8 feet and end up dead so i tried to pass myself off as the noble picture taker. so i nobly took pictures while eating lucky charms and all my wonderful friends were so cute and i love them because they were there and i was there and it was happy and yeahhh. so then we walk some more and end up near this high current creek. the boys decide they want to sit on this bench that is sitting in the middle of it and decide to take the most outabout route to get there that exists. they leave all of their stuff with us, and in the meantime we just have to walk away from them so we “go on a search for a good place to have a picnic” while the boys are shouting so loud to try to get us back with their shoes. we end up at this intersection and take the right route and actually DO find a nice place to eat. then we have the sudden realization that we look like 4 hobos walking on a path in the park trying to find a nice place to sleep tonight. we have a ton of cameras so we get these two guys who think we were trying to hit on them and they take pictures with everyone’s cameras. “so why did you look like hobos?” you may ask. first, we have 4 extra pairs of shoes, and two blankets. we have one sewing kit, 3 dirty pairs of socks (bacon wears his birks EVERYWHERE), one bag of lunch meat and cheese, and a large plastic bag of just cut up french bread. so we walk back and we think we are real sneaky and that they have already been to the bench and back, but really they haven’t even got to the bench during our whole expedition. so they DO eventually get there and all these people keep stopping and we get to feel all proud of our boys for getting all the away out there. after a large number of pictures of them, a moderate percentage immediately exposed (whoops, but hey i fixed it by drawing on them with sharpie) on the submerged-in-water bench, they decide that they need sharpies to write on the bench, which waddyaknow, mary was smart enough to steal out of max’s room, leave under the towels in the bathroom and then give them to me to keep in bake’s sweatshirt that i am still wearing at the park(i love how all of us are gross and never change/take showers when are together, and also how it takes us a ton of convincing to even go brush our teeth) so i have 3 sharpies (i don’t know where one of them went), one of them, the red one, ended up stuck in this whirlpool current (and probably still is) becuase i can’t throw anything for my life. the black one jess throws (i think?) to them next and they somehow catch that one and sign their names on the bench. and then very unclimactically, they find out they could have gotten to the bench really easily by just walking directly towards it. their socks and shoes are returned and we walk on to eat really quickly so we can get home by 4, and don’t even get the spot that we had “gone searching for” before. a fourth of us are kosher and can only eat the cheese. at this point i made the realization that we were, without a doubt, that group that you see and are really jealous you aren’t part of their intense cuteness. so anyways, we run back to the parking lot and we all get back to max’s right before jess’ dad arrives. we say our goodbyes and hug our hugs, and then run after the car down the street. we go back inside, and the boys + bara take their spots back on the couch in the basement to play video games and mary and i go back to max’s room with plan 3 ready to go. we can hear every word/ video game noise so we dont really have to worry about anybody walking in and seeing our awesome plan/gifts (it helped the one time we heard neal say really loudly “where are mary and chiara? we so need to ambush them.”) so our plan is (drum roll) to make boxer-briefs for all four guys. so here’s the summary: neal’s front said “what girls want” (just like the pink wand we gave him), on the back said “NEAL” and then under it said “? rorrim eht ni ttub ruoy ta kool netfo uoy od” except backwards letter-wise too. and on the sides it says “you are not your fucking khakis. you are your underwear. it says abuabuabuaubaubaub on it somewhere too. then nick’s says “NONONOONONON” in a circle around the whole thing and then inside the flap it reads “no. seriously, we mean no. and then it says on the front “isn’t it interesting how anything we wrote here would be interpreted as really dirty no matter what?” it has the mirror thing too (all of them do). and then it also says “rhymes with..... ‘i don’t get it!’”. max’s talk about how he is as cool an ice cube, and how he should be ice cube fruit when we play fruit. it also has a thermometer but mary tried to emphasize how the thermometer would in no way be mistaken with something else. the inside thing says “and now for something completely different.” bake’s are the best of them all, because they were so easy because mary and i made up a song with him over the summer. the front flap says “isthumus be someone’s really lucky bay” (and that someone isn’t the landmass that won the lottery). inside it, it says “so... are your lucky charms on the ground?” and now i will invite you to get that image out of your head (mary stop thinking like that, you so just did), and move on with life. the back, instead of saying alexandre, it says marc fairmount because that is his hooker name (we figured them out on the train to stamford in august). it also has the line about the khakis thing, but instead of underwear it says “fucking underwear” which mary and i thought was sooo clever at the time hahhaa. it also says somewhere that “hope is good thing perhaps the very best of ThIngS” because that quote sucks and there is an arrow pointing. all the inside of the elastics read “self-improvement is masturbation. - fight club”. which in order to quote i had to go back to the basement, find the dvd, pick up and walk out. the entire trip of which everyone in the room was too mesmerized by the video games to actually take notice of. on the way out we make max’s mom hate us even more when we walk past the kitchen, thinking she is in the shower (i still don’t understand why the shower was running), and say how we think there should be a door in the kitchen but there never is. so we give out our presents, but half the population is trying to beat up a prostitute in grand theft auto, and the other half of the room is mesmerized watching it. we get news that dot will make an appearance soon which was wonderful because i had not seen her since july 13, the last day of cty, and the first cty reunion of the year. we wait in the living room which was weird because we never really went to the living room very often. so when dot gets there it is super (i almost just said ubersuper, bara) and she gives me a green amazing guster shirt, and i give her two years of christmas/hannukah presents (dot bracelets). we try to decide on where to go out to dinner, but anyone who has any opinions gets yelled at (Ahm ahem me) so we go out to friendlys, and there are eight of us by now: nick, max, bake, neal, bara, mary, dot, and i, so we fit into two booths next to eachother and they take out the glass slide in the middle so we are exactly like 1 table, except. wait. we aren’t. so anyways, nick is sick and walks around outside and we send out a seach party and once he is found, he is put into neal’s car and we make a get well card for him on a napkin with crayons. i sent out a fortune teller for everyone to write in. i have it next to me write now so i can read it. ok. ready? “YOUR TEETH WILL TURN PURPLE <---NOT LIKE THAT THOUGH”, “one day in your life, you will be somewhere.”, “You will explode from too many cheeseballs”, “one day you will marry someone pretty (pretty funny, pretty funny looking!)”,“Two words. Explosive. Diarhea.”, “Some day some ketchup will fall on your head”, “You will be forced into becoming a crackhore, selling your body for many years, until one day a man named Gus is your customer and cuz of his lack of money, kills you and rapes your dead body.”, “You will become a bum and live in a hobo jungle, and all the other bad things in this fortune teller will happen too”. i love how you can totally tell who wrote what. the service is so bad so we are sitting there from 9:20 till 11:30 i think. mary and i split chickennnnnnnnnnn. and my ice cream melted, because they forgot to give it to me for so long. and i dont’ remember what anyone else got except bara because she was so embarassed about saying “munchie mania”, but maybe it was max’s actually. so we pay and leave eventually. we get back to max’s and dot’s parents isn’t there yet so we watch it came from beneath the quad which was so cute and mary runs into a tree 4 times during it and noah walks funny and ryan fox is just weird in it and it is really cute and remember that scene when they end up dancing in the middle of bolton? ahh i’m thinking about it and almost crying laughing. ok and then dot has to go and we say hi to her family. and then we run after her car too and then we have 7. we find out at this point that the dog has finished completely the cake we bought at shoprite for 7 dollars. mary and i return to the basement and see that they have all started watching 40 days and 40 nights because i guess there is this scene at the end when there is a “sea of breasts” (way to go bara.) mary, neal (our only follower), and i make up a no tv club and have fun in non boring ways, and once they realize that they missed the part they were looking for, the rest of them are fine with joining in too on the no tv club. at this point we have a photo shoot and all the guys actually put on their briefs over their pants and bara, mary, and i can’t stop laughing and we keep on falling over because it is seriously just too funny. so we have about 20 blackmail pictures spread out over about 7 or 8 cameras. after this point, i think bake fell asleep. which was actually awesome because then soon after nick fell asleep and we tried to play games where bacon would kick nick in the face. and then we cut up erin (the lemon) and waved it under nick’s nose and he kept on sneezing (four times), just to fuck with his dreams. he looks like a philosopher. you see, after a while he started holding onto bacon’s feet and when bake moved his feet away nick sits up, still sleeping mumbles angrily something about “where’d they go?!?!” and then falls backafter into this perfect thinking position, with one hand on his hip and the other supporting his head. about 5 or so minutes later he has a thought, partially sitting up an then falls over again. and then neal nods off and when he wakes up we are talking about belly shirts because we are supposed to be fooling bacon, who is also just waking up, that we werent actually tickling his feet for the purpose of kicking nick/neal (too, by this point). so neal wakes up and says “what did you guys write on my face?” we just have to play along because this is too good of an opportunity to lose, when he completely brought it upon himself. we burst out laughing which completely translates into “of course we did” to him. so then, he asks us if the fantastick that is on the table was involved in any way. to that we say “eh. not much. i wouldn’t worry too much.” and mary sniffs his hairs and replies with “mm but lemony fresh!” he freaks and we ask to take a picture. so, yes we have one picture of neal running with his face covered towards the stairs, and he is covering up absolutely nothing. he comes down feeling even more stupid than he would if he actually DID have anything written on his face. by the time he comes back, bara, mary, and i have taken over the mattress and only left blanket. max nods off sometime during this point. we have 3 blankets for 7 people, because the rest of them are still in the tent. max has one, nick and bake have one, and there is one on the mattress. somehow after quite a shuffle, i end up on the couch with neal, mary is sitting on the floor with neal’s head asleep on top of her, and maxs head on her lap who is now sleeping on the mattress with bara. this is a problem, because it is time for plan 4. i can get out pretty easily, but mary is stuck under two people. so i pull sleeping max by the feet away from mary, who is after that awake max. but after a quick convincing involving only telling him “go back to sleep max” and he is soon back to sleeping max. and then neal is pushed off onto a pillow. bara is still awake and a very good coordinator of sleeping boys, and announcer of who is stirring at what time. so plan 4 is basically to leave bandaids everywhere and fuck with peoples stuff. we find neal’s car keys in his toiletries bag (where of course it belongs?) so we write on all the bandaids stuff like “maude and macbeth were here” and put them on toothbrushes and tvs, and then move boxers from one bag to another and pants from bacon’s bag into neals. and we fill everyone’s pockets with bandaids and write on forks, spoons and knives “maude and macbeth love you.” we leave them in everyones things and all over max’s room’s floor. the entire time nick is being the most uncooperative sleeping and keeps on standing up and mumbling. the first (of 8 times) that he gets up we freak out and fall onto the floor and act like we are sleeping on the floor. we make up this complex plan that if he does get up and sees us not asleep we wouldn’t say anything or look at him, we’d just dance around and try to convince him he was asleep the entire time, just dreaming. then we go out to neal’s car and take out all the cds in his 6 cd changer, move his cd pack, and then leave plastic wear all over the dashboard of his car, and leave a bandaid on the back of his car that when reflected in the front mirror says “LOSER”. and leave a paper plate that says “maude and macbeth were undoubtedly here.”. then we go on a search for a pair or scissors, and you must remember that by this point it is way past dawn and we have gotten absolutley no sleep. we finally find some in the bathroom behind a cup. we go down stairs and cut up plates to make a scavenger hunt. instead we just leave parts of the plate on the stairs, and since i have them in my backpack (i haven’t unpacked) i can tell you what they said. i guess they aren’t in order anymore but anyways: “number of people that had to be removed from mary: 2.”, “number of bandaids used: 30”, “number of plans that involved the use of ‘interpretive dance to the beat of the water pipes’ to confuse wakers: 2”, “number of times we watched bacon and nick kick bara on the ass: 382138493274579304218437213847347128743 times ten to the 11th power.”, “number of times Nick sneezed after sniffing erin: 4”, “number of times nick woke up and started to sleep talk/walk: 8”, “number of trips to the front yard: 2”, “number of times touching your face will tell you if it has been written on: 0”, “number of times we paniched about nick”, “number of times we stepped in the ‘small’ wet spot: 6”, “number of cds played before everyone went to sleep:6”, “number of cheeseballs eaten: 1”, and “number of hours we’ve slept tonight:0”. so then after all that, it is i think 8 or 9 in the morning, and we decide it is finally time for some sleep. then we realise that every place to sleep is already taken. so we go up to the living room and i bring a bunch of sweaters as covers, becuase other wise we don’t have any at all. so i am already on the sofa and mary is doing last minute stuff, and she comes back and urst outs laughing because she realizes that after all that we are definently about to go to sleep on a sofa covered with about 5 sweaters. and then we sit there and try to figure out an alarm system to wake us up so we’ll still have time to do stuff before we have to leave. we constructed multiple systems. for example we opened the blinds to the window we were sitting next to. and uhhh of course that’ll wake us up. i dont know how but at the time it made a ton of sense. and then other plan was to let the cd player get louder, which it always does?? hahahahah we are so funny because yeah at the time it seemed like it would make sense that we could organize that to happen. we must have slept for say 10 minutes before for some reason we decide to move to max’s bed (mary why did we move? i remember you being like “max’s mom cleaned off his bed so we can go there”, but i don’t remember seeing her). so anyways we are trying to fall asleep on max’s bed now but literally every minute the stupid dog(sorry i call it stupid but it ate our cake) would come into the room, get up onto the bed, start licking on us and then run outside and then one minute late it would come back. very quickly we gave up on this plan and just went back to the basement. at this point the entire room is informed that there are krispy kremes upstairs and so everyone runs upstairs except for us who realize that now there is space to sleep. so we try and fall asleep but the dog actually followed us and scared both of us, but scared mary more funny because she had her eyes closed already and then the dog walked over to her and she opened her eyes and the dog was like RIGHT THERE. so anyways, atleast they liked the stairs, and they hed seen a few of the bandaids by then (but not the full extent of plan 4 bwahahhahaha). we eat our last breakfast together and i kept on trying to get rid of part of my donut and i was so out of it at the time that i kept on putting it on max’s plate and thinking i was the sneakiest person ever. it is time for mary to leave. we deconstruct the tent, and then take last pictures and mary goes and this is very sad because i miss mary. and then like 20 minutes later we had to bring nick and bake to the bus station. and once we said goodbye to them too, we got into neal’s car and they started playing this song by okgo called get over it or something and i started crying so hard because someone was like “this is bacon when he is mad” and i was like omgasdjfk this IS bacon when he is mad and i am not going to see mad bacon for a long time and yeah so i started crying so hard even though i tried really hard to stop. and nick, i miss that kid he is definently the most unintentionally funny kid in the world. so then it is bara, max, neal and i left. we try to pack but fail because instead neal and max go to find directions to bara’s house because bara sure as hell can’t get us there ;), and then because they are gone bara and i slack off with the packing and just sit on the couch and talk. they come back like half an hour later and we are no more packed than before. we finish with packing and then head off to burger king because it is lunch time by then. we got a lot of chicken nuggets and they were in funny shapes, and neal (remember this for later) gets this king sized thing or dr. pepper. and i mean this thing is GIANT. bara also got this cool kids meal toy of plankton from spongebob squarepants that spins and goes wooo wooo wooooooo and sparkles and stuff. so back to the car we go playing okgo (we ought to buy you cadillac HEY!) and soon we are at max’s again. we drop him off home and almost convince his mom that this is the last of us and she is safe now from the craziness entailed in housing us for three days. but WAIT. on the way back into the car bara manages to tip the ENTIRE THING OF DR PEPPER into the back seat of neal’s car. so there, you must imagine is this large puddle of dr pepper sitting in the seat of a car with superabsorbant seats. we start taking it out by the cup full and neal runs into the house and we can’t tell if he is pissed off or okay. he comes out of the house with paper towels and the biggest forced smile on his face. neal is such an amzing kid for keeping his cool. ksjdf k he is so great. he said something allong the lines of “it is a material thing. it does not matter. it does not matter. it does not matter. right??” so about 5 minutes later the puddle is gone but you can still push on the seat and all the soda makes a puddle where there is usually air (does that make sense? it is hard to explain) so max and i play with a bouncy ball in the middle of the road for a while and after about an hour, we finally consider it done and head out after saying our real goodbyes to max. he runs after the car :). the plan is to take bara home about a 45 minute ride according to map quest. right. so it takes 2 hours. we have terrible directions and end up circling it every circular driveway that exists in the county i swear. we listen to early 90s music which is always good. and at one point bara’s mom even tells us to go the wrong way so we kind of end up going in the direction of this one beach near long island sound and so we go to it. and it was so exciting to see the tan and white driving signs for the beach and it was actually a really nice beach and it was quiet because it was almost dark by that point. so we got someone to take a picture of us there and then neal made a memorial to sept 11th (??) in the sand. and we trade shells and then i fill the ice breaker box (that i bought on friday but is now completely gone) with sand from the beach and we go back on the road. hehe a REAL beach!!! that’s so exciting to me, sorry. still. ok so then we actually get there. and we decide to go around in a circle around this really fancy house with a sculpture in the middle and bara hides and is scared because they are her neighbors. so then we get to see bara’s house (we were the first of he friends.. woo!!) and jump on her bed which is like 943923423 feet tall and i have to get a running start to get onto. bara gave me this really cute picture of alan and i dancing through the streets of new york in december that i love. and then i notice that the letter i wrote her like a year ago is on her wall which made me so ohappy. we go online and tell bara’s friend that she is supposed to visit that she can’t because she has no ride so she can go with us. neal and i run around on chairs torturing her 1 foot dog (it runs funny hehe).and then we have to caffenite tired neal so we give him tons of coke and i test him on his multiplication tables. we head off to neal’s house. again, okgo playing SOO loud the whole way. we get there and after half a bowl of cup of noodles we have a new plan to go visit mer siller in new canaan. we get there and attack her and she gives us food and try to tell her about the night before and neal eats chocolate frosting off a knife and then mer gives bara and i clothing to wear because we are soo gross. and then i talked to mer about lots of stuff and there was this one story she told me that i was sooo into and i was seriously suspensified if that is a word. she let me borrow these pants that have pez all over them and a yellow shirt with a big cartoon lobster named clarence on it. and then we go to this big nice room where mer has a tv and a computer. neal starts torturing people online and bara watches the oscars and then i realize my sister called back about this joke i wanted to tell neal and bara in the car when you ask about how you get an elephant into a refrigerator and the answer is to take the r out of tree and the f out of way. so there is no f in way ;) and only neal understood it and it finally kicked in for mer and bara like 10 minutes later. at 11:30 we had to go so we did and we said our goodbyes. ( i miss you supercali MERSILLER fragilisticexpealidiouscious). so then we drive back, all the while listening to get get get get over it when i get to scream hos! at the beginning and on the way there to mer’s, neal went 80mph and it scared me shitless so he promised to only go 75 mph which at the time seemed very comforting. so we end up back home at neal’s by midnight finish up our cup noodles and go up the neal’s room and get ready for bed (we also made a post you can see here. bara and i sleep in a different room and the next morning we have half an hour before we have to leave for the stamford train station. i take like a 20 minute shower (sorry, bara) because i kept on falling asleepin the shower. well i ended up everything like my toothbrush, face wash, EVERYTHING in there and bara had like half a second to shower. we get to the stamford train station and bara takes off at 9:11 back to fairfield and at 9:07, neal and i leave for new york to look at colleges. on the train we read the paper and scare away everyone near us. once we get to grand central, our first stop is a hot dog stand. i get a sprite and a hot dog, and he gets two. we sit on the sidewalk and enjoy breakfast. we call michelle and tell her we want to come to her house and take a nap. we never actually went. we try to find nyu, end up missing the last tour till 2 and just get name tags and try to give ourselves a fake tour of nyu and see if anyone would ever join in “and this sculpture was constucted in 1669 by pochahontas” “uhhh no it wasn’t” “SHUT UP”. so we sit in washington square park after giving up on finding the tour and talk. we write on our name tags everyone who was at the reunion’s names and then their locations. next to nick’s it reads “ROB ME!!!”. so if anyone is ever an wahington square park, let me know if we are still there in the form of 2 name tags. then we walk to the subway and on the way stop at this little juice bar, get a peach and banana smootie and a pita gyro chicken sandwich with onions, hot sauce, and lettuce. we sit at one of the tables and neal makes me figure out how to get to columbia. too bad he told me the WRONG STOP. anywho we end up in the middle of harlem. well maybe not middle but it certain wasn’t the safe outskirts that he told me they were. we go to the edge of central park and sit near the duck pond and tell stories about trains and planes and people. at that point it was about 1:30 and we start walking in the wrong direction to columbia. some old guy tries to convince us that we want to take the bus and then we explain that we aren’t taking the bus, and then he is like well, if you DID want to take the bus you just have to do this.... and then we walk away. we end up having to RUN about a mile maybe ( i dunno i’m a bad estimator) and then after that we reach this giant hill on the edge of columbia and we have to go up SO many stairs. after stopping at every possible wrong building on the columbia campus and then not even being able to follow signs within the right building we end up at the admissions meeting about 10 minutes after 2. neal and i write notes back and forth on the notepad we brought to look professional about essays and neal figured out the actual percentage that they take (5.8222222222222222%). and then i keep falling asleep and one time my head almost collapsed to my right where there was some random person that i probably annoyed so much. so then we go on a tour of columbia which by the way i am in love with. and then i explain to neal about the lwh of the volume and how the h is the big one on the campus and he is like yeah chiara you are in a freaking city and then i get the gum i am chewing stuck to the roof of my mouth and neal is laughing at me the whole time because i seriously can’t get it unstuck. after that i get my stuff from neal’s dad’s car who drove to see the admission meeting at columbia. neal carries my overstuffed backpack because he is wonderful yo. we take another walk around campus because it is so beautiful and then take the subway to times square. we find the philly cheese steak place he likes and he got a philly cheese steak. we go to sbarro and i get some pizza. nick calls us and we talk to him for a while and then we start constructing letters to the future. one of them talks about we just talked to nick on the phone and he is a funny kid because when he says something that sounds sarcastic, he means it seriously. the second one was hilarious because neal wrote it. the whole time he kept on talking about how letters were always to the future and he was like wooo am i not the most intelligent kid ever haha and so anyways back to the letter. it was all romantic and from nick oh neil and to alexandre and it is dated august something, 1783. and it talks about how now that the american revolution is over, we can finally see eachother again!!!!!!!!!!! and to quote shakepeare “you got a body like a battleaxe. HEY! get get get get get over it”. and then we made an envelope for it that is addressed to alexandre bay-coane, 1081 Seventiieeighth street, i forget what city it was to, because we kept on fighting over what new york was called back then. it was mailed from the sbarro, 393JK. which neal thought was clever until he realized we should have said THE ARMY, UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. anyways we left it in the woodchips that sbarro feeds their fake plants. if anyone ever wants to check if it is still there, it is at the sbarro in times square and it is in the basement in the corner towards the wall you come in on. check it out, and right us a note or something and hide it well deep in the woodchips. and then i had to go catch my train back home so we walked to penn station and we were actually early so we sat in the place we waiting for nick back in august. i left on the 7:10 train to albany.
i love you, tell me what i forgot. seriously, because this took me literally probably 5 or 6 hours to write. you can take two minutes and write me a comment.
you are not your fucking khakis. you’re your fucking socks. there is no f in way you know how much i love you.