Crazy hazy lazy days of Summer
June 22, 2014 Sunday 10:15p.
I wish that I wasn't so tired by the time I sat down each night. It would be really nice to be able to write something halfway worth reading. I'm at C & M's house tonigh, for not my usual 24 hour shift but a (relatively shorter) 17 hour shift. Sitting at Ganga's computer... I did disifect it but will wash my hands well afterwards... it' s not his hands that are the issue but his overspray! There is a picture of my formerly beautiful neice to my left, her high school graduation picture. I was going to say something about her self image thoughts... but truthfully? Who knows what she really thinks? These days she obviously doesn't think much about anything. I hear, however, that she has totally destroyed her looks which is a complete shame. She is thin, haggard and has lost several of her front teeth. She has scars on her forhead from her wonderful husbands shows of affection. And her personality which used to be bright, cheery and helpful is now bitter, self-absorbed and dull. Full of drugs. I heard that she recently had a meeting her only child, a daughter who she hasn't spent any quality time with for over 2 years now, & her daughter basically told her that she was disgusted by her. Of course, Curly cried. Of couse, none of this is her fault. She told the lies that she has been living to her daughter. "I'm like this because it's everyone else's fault. I did nothing to deserve any of this. None of this is my fault!" "I lost my job because of my back injuries," not, "I lost my job because I stole narcotics from a patient who was supposed to get them." "I have a PTSS because my brother raped me when I was 6," not, "I'm looking for any excuse to use drugs and shirk responsibilites and people were getting tired of hearing that losing my (half) sister (who I didn't spend much time with while she was alive) affected me so much and made me depressed. And everyone recovers from losing their grandparents. Oh and since I was 6 when my brother raped me, that would have made him 8... and the whole rape story started out as a "playing doctor" and morphed over the years into this horrible experience that I've endured... my God Damned mother!" Hopefully her dau
I wish that I wasn't so tired by the time I sat down each night. It would be really nice to be able to write something halfway worth reading. I'm at C & M's house tonigh, for not my usual 24 hour shift but a (relatively shorter) 17 hour shift. Sitting at Ganga's computer... I did disifect it but will wash my hands well afterwards... it' s not his hands that are the issue but his overspray! There is a picture of my formerly beautiful neice to my left, her high school graduation picture. I was going to say something about her self image thoughts... but truthfully? Who knows what she really thinks? These days she obviously doesn't think much about anything. I hear, however, that she has totally destroyed her looks which is a complete shame. She is thin, haggard and has lost several of her front teeth. She has scars on her forhead from her wonderful husbands shows of affection. And her personality which used to be bright, cheery and helpful is now bitter, self-absorbed and dull. Full of drugs. I heard that she recently had a meeting her only child, a daughter who she hasn't spent any quality time with for over 2 years now, & her daughter basically told her that she was disgusted by her. Of course, Curly cried. Of couse, none of this is her fault. She told the lies that she has been living to her daughter. "I'm like this because it's everyone else's fault. I did nothing to deserve any of this. None of this is my fault!" "I lost my job because of my back injuries," not, "I lost my job because I stole narcotics from a patient who was supposed to get them." "I have a PTSS because my brother raped me when I was 6," not, "I'm looking for any excuse to use drugs and shirk responsibilites and people were getting tired of hearing that losing my (half) sister (who I didn't spend much time with while she was alive) affected me so much and made me depressed. And everyone recovers from losing their grandparents. Oh and since I was 6 when my brother raped me, that would have made him 8... and the whole rape story started out as a "playing doctor" and morphed over the years into this horrible experience that I've endured... my God Damned mother!" Hopefully her dau