Eh. Life really sucks.
You know what? Life sucks.
I just thought I'd share.
Here we go, once again.. I get on my AIM thing to see if I can unlink my 2 screen names, and Jill manages to IM me before I'm finished, so I'm forced to chat with her. The first thing she does is go on about how much money she has, and she got Troy and a new Blink 182 t-shirt, and Duran Duran, and Vanilla Ice CD and a new CD player.
Come on, now. She tells me that it would be awesome for me to live there, but when I want her to mention it to her mom she tells me "I'll ask later" and then she knows how poor (money-wise) of a situation I'm in here and she's got the nerve to tell me of how much money she's got. Well, that really pisses me the hell off.
Suicide, see, is right there on the top of my to-do list. Problem? DOING IT. I have the motivation, I have the place, time, and how to do it.. but I don't have what it takes to actually kill myself. I guess I'm just too.. too.. i don't even friggen know.
Life just really really really sucks. And it all seems to happen when I speak with one of my lovely friends from Bristol. Well, guess what people: I'm either going to kill myself or end up changing my identity, because my former friends in Bristol are too rich (and horribly spoiled like Jill) to even care for my feelings and well being. i guess i find it so much easier to start over and begin something new than to fix things.. i'm just that kind of person.
Call me selfish if you like.. I don't feel that I am.
I mean, come on now. I go to school Monday-Friday at my high school in Philadelphia from 7:30 am to 3:00 pm. Then, on Saturdays, I get up to go to school at the local Community College from 7:00 am to 5:00 pm because I'm "smart" and have the chance at SAT Prep classes for free. I also have a 2 week training over the summer at West Chester University that prepares me for college life and other things of that nature, which I'm told by that programs Alumni that it is b-r-u-t-a-l. Then I have 5 more weeks of school at the Community College, which takes up all but 2 weeks of my summer holiday from Monday-Thursday from 7:00 am to 5:00 pm, educational trips on Fridays, and then a week-long educational-fun trip in August.
I'm trying to get a good education and make a good life for myself, but with people like Jill who are mooching off of their parents (she gets $40 a friggen week. For lunch. Is that really necessary?!) and then complain and stomp around like a friggen 4 year old when they're asked to load the friggen dishwasher. JESUS, the last time I was there (Friday night to Suday night) I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher 3 times because i cant stand it when she acts so friggen childish and bangs all the goddamed plates and shit in the dishwasher, blaming the maid (THE FRIGGEN MAID!!! WHAT IS SHE COMPLAINING ABOUT IF SHE HAS A MAID?!) for breaking the dishwasher. besides, the maid is an old woman. and, really, Jill is constantly complaining about how stupid a dishwasher is ("you have to rinse the dishes off before you put them in.. its so much smarter to wash them by hand") THEN WHY DONT YOU?
Jill goes on about how her children will learn the value of a dollar. tell me, oh Jill the great one, who thinks that because she gets angry she can tell anyone to "shut the fuck up," (which are her exact words to me, her "friend" just because i was doing exactly what she was doing to me: AGGRAVATING) how will your children learn the value of a dollar IF YOU DONT KNOW THE VALUE OF A FRIGGEN DOLLAR?! you whine and scream and cry when you're asked to take out the trash "Andrew should do it.." yea? well guess what, honey:
I DO EVERYONE'S LAUNDRY, I CLEAN THE BATHROOM AND DO THE DISHES, I VACCUUM, I GO TO SCHOOL 6 DAYS A WEEK AND I'VE JUST BEEN VOLUNTEERED TO CLEAN THE BASEMENT WITH MY FATHER.. AND I GET 5 DOLLARS A MOTHER FUCKING WEEK.
hope you're quite happy because you're lucky. i'm the kind of person who avoids conflict at all costs and because of this, you'll hear none of it. not one bit. i'll take the physical abuse, i'll take the psychological abuse, and i'll take the growing spiritual abuse... and all because i'm a good person.
hope you're all fucking happy.
-MeIsCreative.
I just thought I'd share.
Here we go, once again.. I get on my AIM thing to see if I can unlink my 2 screen names, and Jill manages to IM me before I'm finished, so I'm forced to chat with her. The first thing she does is go on about how much money she has, and she got Troy and a new Blink 182 t-shirt, and Duran Duran, and Vanilla Ice CD and a new CD player.
Come on, now. She tells me that it would be awesome for me to live there, but when I want her to mention it to her mom she tells me "I'll ask later" and then she knows how poor (money-wise) of a situation I'm in here and she's got the nerve to tell me of how much money she's got. Well, that really pisses me the hell off.
Suicide, see, is right there on the top of my to-do list. Problem? DOING IT. I have the motivation, I have the place, time, and how to do it.. but I don't have what it takes to actually kill myself. I guess I'm just too.. too.. i don't even friggen know.
Life just really really really sucks. And it all seems to happen when I speak with one of my lovely friends from Bristol. Well, guess what people: I'm either going to kill myself or end up changing my identity, because my former friends in Bristol are too rich (and horribly spoiled like Jill) to even care for my feelings and well being. i guess i find it so much easier to start over and begin something new than to fix things.. i'm just that kind of person.
Call me selfish if you like.. I don't feel that I am.
I mean, come on now. I go to school Monday-Friday at my high school in Philadelphia from 7:30 am to 3:00 pm. Then, on Saturdays, I get up to go to school at the local Community College from 7:00 am to 5:00 pm because I'm "smart" and have the chance at SAT Prep classes for free. I also have a 2 week training over the summer at West Chester University that prepares me for college life and other things of that nature, which I'm told by that programs Alumni that it is b-r-u-t-a-l. Then I have 5 more weeks of school at the Community College, which takes up all but 2 weeks of my summer holiday from Monday-Thursday from 7:00 am to 5:00 pm, educational trips on Fridays, and then a week-long educational-fun trip in August.
I'm trying to get a good education and make a good life for myself, but with people like Jill who are mooching off of their parents (she gets $40 a friggen week. For lunch. Is that really necessary?!) and then complain and stomp around like a friggen 4 year old when they're asked to load the friggen dishwasher. JESUS, the last time I was there (Friday night to Suday night) I loaded and unloaded the dishwasher 3 times because i cant stand it when she acts so friggen childish and bangs all the goddamed plates and shit in the dishwasher, blaming the maid (THE FRIGGEN MAID!!! WHAT IS SHE COMPLAINING ABOUT IF SHE HAS A MAID?!) for breaking the dishwasher. besides, the maid is an old woman. and, really, Jill is constantly complaining about how stupid a dishwasher is ("you have to rinse the dishes off before you put them in.. its so much smarter to wash them by hand") THEN WHY DONT YOU?
Jill goes on about how her children will learn the value of a dollar. tell me, oh Jill the great one, who thinks that because she gets angry she can tell anyone to "shut the fuck up," (which are her exact words to me, her "friend" just because i was doing exactly what she was doing to me: AGGRAVATING) how will your children learn the value of a dollar IF YOU DONT KNOW THE VALUE OF A FRIGGEN DOLLAR?! you whine and scream and cry when you're asked to take out the trash "Andrew should do it.." yea? well guess what, honey:
I DO EVERYONE'S LAUNDRY, I CLEAN THE BATHROOM AND DO THE DISHES, I VACCUUM, I GO TO SCHOOL 6 DAYS A WEEK AND I'VE JUST BEEN VOLUNTEERED TO CLEAN THE BASEMENT WITH MY FATHER.. AND I GET 5 DOLLARS A MOTHER FUCKING WEEK.
hope you're quite happy because you're lucky. i'm the kind of person who avoids conflict at all costs and because of this, you'll hear none of it. not one bit. i'll take the physical abuse, i'll take the psychological abuse, and i'll take the growing spiritual abuse... and all because i'm a good person.
hope you're all fucking happy.
-MeIsCreative.