A new day
He rarely ever gave me flowers, but hardly a week went by that he didn't take a picture of some using his cell phone and email them to me. Flowers that never faded, delivered in the middle of a busy day.
So we've begun this particular day. In a few minutes I'll go upstairs and get dressed for work, where I'm giving two midterms, and having lunch with my boss, and grading all day like a fiend since grades are due tomorrow by noon. I'm getting my hair done, then coming home and grading some more, petting the kitties, cuddling the pugs.
All on about 3 hours sleep.
I am calm. But I feel shaky and fragile. Duchezz looks and sounds fragile. We miss him, in a bone aching kind of way, even as we heal a little more, each day. But this is the kind of loss where the healing doesn't take the pain away--it just makes it so you can live through the pain rather than falling to your knees on the kitchen floor, or curling up in a ball in a public place.
So I hope today people make their sweethearts coffee, or tea. Send them flowers--real or photographic. Touch each other tenderly in passing. And giggle in mischief. There's been a little less of all of those in the world in the last month, and there needs to be more.
So we've begun this particular day. In a few minutes I'll go upstairs and get dressed for work, where I'm giving two midterms, and having lunch with my boss, and grading all day like a fiend since grades are due tomorrow by noon. I'm getting my hair done, then coming home and grading some more, petting the kitties, cuddling the pugs.
All on about 3 hours sleep.
I am calm. But I feel shaky and fragile. Duchezz looks and sounds fragile. We miss him, in a bone aching kind of way, even as we heal a little more, each day. But this is the kind of loss where the healing doesn't take the pain away--it just makes it so you can live through the pain rather than falling to your knees on the kitchen floor, or curling up in a ball in a public place.
So I hope today people make their sweethearts coffee, or tea. Send them flowers--real or photographic. Touch each other tenderly in passing. And giggle in mischief. There's been a little less of all of those in the world in the last month, and there needs to be more.