How To Get On Meilo's Good Side (And Stay There)
I've been getting really pissed off about things that people have been doing lately, not just in my journal, but elsewhere also, and I'm trying to stay as cool as possible about it. I won't name any names because I'm not a douche like that; if you've done anything like what's listed below, you know who you are because you did it. I don't want any apologies if you DID do something that's listed below, I just ask that you don't do it again. Ever.
So, here's a list of things you probably SHOULDN'T do if you want to be on my good side. JSYK.
In no particular order:
- FC whores piss me off. The next time someone comments on one of my fics with, "FC? HUR HUR I GOT FC," I'm deleting it. Seriously, no one gives a fuck if you got the first comment, especially not me. It just clutters my inbox with unnecessary bullshit and irritates the hell out of me.
- I HATE HATE *HATE* one word comments. If you're so fuckin' lazy that all you can even manage to comment is ONE FUCKING WORD, just save yourself the energy and don't comment. I can do without your fuckery. "This is hot," also does not count as a proper comment. I know how hard it can be to leave a good comment sometimes, but it's not that hard to fucking TRY.
- If you aren't going to read my story all the way through, the least you could do is don't comment that you aren't going to finish it. Not only is that rude beyond anything I can even THINK of to say to an author, it makes me feel incompetent. How would you feel if you wrote this bad-ass story and I told YOU that I wasn't going to finish it because it has material in it that I don't care for? Exactly.
- Don't criticize me. I'm not perfect, and I know that; you don't have to remind me. But telling me that I suck or asking why I even try to do something or telling me I'm stupid, even if you aren't "trying" to be mean/rude, it's still mean/rude. If you have any comments on something I might have done wrong, feel free to tell me, but don't be an ass about it.
- Call me a grammar/spelling nazi, but I hate when people misspell the simplest words. Yes, I'm talking to people who blatantly misspell easy words in comments. Yeah, I know they're comments, yeah, I know it's not that big of a deal. Things like "your/you're" and "to/too" I can look over. But when I see people misspelling things like fucking "silence" it just... To be completely honest, it makes you look like a complete retard. I do not think very highly of people who misspell things. L2 spellcheck, seriously.
- Excessive exclamation points. Capslock I can handle, but exclamations points are just redundant. I hate them and I rarely use them myself unless I feel it is completely necessary.
- Textspeak. It's only okay if you're my mom, completely terrible at English, and totally lazy. Seriously, I rarely use "lol" at all. No, really, go look, I usually write "haha" instead. I mean, it's okay sometimes (don't get me wrong, I love my smilies :D), but when I see "lol" more than twice in one comment... No, you're obviously a complete retard. I honestly cannot take you seriously if you use "lol" ten times in one comment.
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On the other hand, there are a lot of things that people have been doing that just brighten my day and make me giggle like a little girl. Seriously, more people should do things that make me happy, 'cause then I turn right around and do something for you (whether it be reading one of your fics and leaving a nice comment, writing a prompt you asked for, cheering you up on a bad day, etc.) What's great is that a lot of you don't even have to think about doing these things; you already do them unconsciously.
So, here's a list of things you CAN do to make me smile. This definitely isn't everything, just a few select things.
In no particular order:
- Constructive criticism is my favorite.
- I love long, insightful and/or funny comments. This might seem like a lot for some people, but I know you can do it.
- I love to blabber about stuff, so if I answer your comment with something long and pointless, just go with it. Make up something funny. Write something witty. I'll keep going on until I have nothing left to say.
- I may be a busy guy, but I love when people get great ideas that they don't think they'd be able to write themselves and ask me to write them instead. At the moment, I may not be able to get around to it for some time, but it makes me feel really good to get that kind of recognition.
- I'm a shy person in real life, but I'm really outgoing on the internet (isn't that everyone?) so don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm not some famous celebrity that hates everyone and wishes everyone would leave him alone. I love fans, I really do, and I love talking to fans of my work. Really, I'm not gonna bite your head off, and no one else will either unless you say something really retarded (like something from the above list. ;D)
- I'm human. Treat me like one.
- I'm a sensitive guy. If something you say offends me in whatever way and I tell you outright that you're being offensive or I don't respond (or I respond rather rudely, I've been known to do that too) and you don't think what you said should offend me, please politely explain your side and I will try my best to understand. If you realize that what you said was uncalled for in the first place, just apologize and we can both get on with our lives. Let's be adults here, even if you ARE under 18 (because I know some of you are). I'm treating everyone as adults by letting everyone read my work. Don't make me have to change the age rules.
What's great about this post? The next time someone pisses me off, I can just link them here. :D It's not my fault if you didn't read this; it's your fault. Therefore, if I link you to this and you piss me off again, don't expect any mercy from me. I can and WILL be a total bitch if I have to.
If I think of more to put on here, I will.
So, here's a list of things you probably SHOULDN'T do if you want to be on my good side. JSYK.
In no particular order:
- FC whores piss me off. The next time someone comments on one of my fics with, "FC? HUR HUR I GOT FC," I'm deleting it. Seriously, no one gives a fuck if you got the first comment, especially not me. It just clutters my inbox with unnecessary bullshit and irritates the hell out of me.
- I HATE HATE *HATE* one word comments. If you're so fuckin' lazy that all you can even manage to comment is ONE FUCKING WORD, just save yourself the energy and don't comment. I can do without your fuckery. "This is hot," also does not count as a proper comment. I know how hard it can be to leave a good comment sometimes, but it's not that hard to fucking TRY.
- If you aren't going to read my story all the way through, the least you could do is don't comment that you aren't going to finish it. Not only is that rude beyond anything I can even THINK of to say to an author, it makes me feel incompetent. How would you feel if you wrote this bad-ass story and I told YOU that I wasn't going to finish it because it has material in it that I don't care for? Exactly.
- Don't criticize me. I'm not perfect, and I know that; you don't have to remind me. But telling me that I suck or asking why I even try to do something or telling me I'm stupid, even if you aren't "trying" to be mean/rude, it's still mean/rude. If you have any comments on something I might have done wrong, feel free to tell me, but don't be an ass about it.
- Call me a grammar/spelling nazi, but I hate when people misspell the simplest words. Yes, I'm talking to people who blatantly misspell easy words in comments. Yeah, I know they're comments, yeah, I know it's not that big of a deal. Things like "your/you're" and "to/too" I can look over. But when I see people misspelling things like fucking "silence" it just... To be completely honest, it makes you look like a complete retard. I do not think very highly of people who misspell things. L2 spellcheck, seriously.
- Excessive exclamation points. Capslock I can handle, but exclamations points are just redundant. I hate them and I rarely use them myself unless I feel it is completely necessary.
- Textspeak. It's only okay if you're my mom, completely terrible at English, and totally lazy. Seriously, I rarely use "lol" at all. No, really, go look, I usually write "haha" instead. I mean, it's okay sometimes (don't get me wrong, I love my smilies :D), but when I see "lol" more than twice in one comment... No, you're obviously a complete retard. I honestly cannot take you seriously if you use "lol" ten times in one comment.
------------------------
On the other hand, there are a lot of things that people have been doing that just brighten my day and make me giggle like a little girl. Seriously, more people should do things that make me happy, 'cause then I turn right around and do something for you (whether it be reading one of your fics and leaving a nice comment, writing a prompt you asked for, cheering you up on a bad day, etc.) What's great is that a lot of you don't even have to think about doing these things; you already do them unconsciously.
So, here's a list of things you CAN do to make me smile. This definitely isn't everything, just a few select things.
In no particular order:
- Constructive criticism is my favorite.
- I love long, insightful and/or funny comments. This might seem like a lot for some people, but I know you can do it.
- I love to blabber about stuff, so if I answer your comment with something long and pointless, just go with it. Make up something funny. Write something witty. I'll keep going on until I have nothing left to say.
- I may be a busy guy, but I love when people get great ideas that they don't think they'd be able to write themselves and ask me to write them instead. At the moment, I may not be able to get around to it for some time, but it makes me feel really good to get that kind of recognition.
- I'm a shy person in real life, but I'm really outgoing on the internet (isn't that everyone?) so don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm not some famous celebrity that hates everyone and wishes everyone would leave him alone. I love fans, I really do, and I love talking to fans of my work. Really, I'm not gonna bite your head off, and no one else will either unless you say something really retarded (like something from the above list. ;D)
- I'm human. Treat me like one.
- I'm a sensitive guy. If something you say offends me in whatever way and I tell you outright that you're being offensive or I don't respond (or I respond rather rudely, I've been known to do that too) and you don't think what you said should offend me, please politely explain your side and I will try my best to understand. If you realize that what you said was uncalled for in the first place, just apologize and we can both get on with our lives. Let's be adults here, even if you ARE under 18 (because I know some of you are). I'm treating everyone as adults by letting everyone read my work. Don't make me have to change the age rules.
What's great about this post? The next time someone pisses me off, I can just link them here. :D It's not my fault if you didn't read this; it's your fault. Therefore, if I link you to this and you piss me off again, don't expect any mercy from me. I can and WILL be a total bitch if I have to.
If I think of more to put on here, I will.