Fairy & Kitten "Broken" Pencils
I finished pencilling all the pages for the comic I am going to submit to the Break anthology a little while ago. And today I cleaned them up a little bit and cropped them down for posting (after having a pretty good day at the beach). Here they are:
( 8 pages )
( 8 pages )
ana may here. i wanted to throw in a few comments here for you. hope they help.
page one: a little bland. the house could use a little more character...maybe not quite as perfectly arranged.
page two: the fairy's proportions seem off in the first panel. also, i wish the boy didn't have BOTH hands cropped off in the third panel. love the head shot, but the ear is a little awkward (and seems inconsistent with other shots).
page three: in the kiss panel, i'd put boy's hand on her shoulder.
page four: the 2-panel branch breaking sequence was a little tricky. i thought the branch had extended into next panel. maybe show fairy a little bit in bottom of panel as she falls?
last page: i'd have liked seeing girl reacting to boy getting face slashed as cat jumps away. and the cat in the last panel looks a little too stiff.
overall, i think the story is UTTERLY ADORABLE and very easy to read/enjoy. no words necessary and the whole sequence is just funny and clever. the fairy's sweetness/jealousy comes through loud and clear, but i almost wish the cat had a tad more expressiveness in the face, especially the eyes. and when you ink, be careful not to overemphasize those ankles. but these aren't even what matter. if you change NOTHING it is a fantastically cute story that can appeal to both little kids and older fans, especially shoujo girls...but pretty much anyone. as always, your essential melanie-ness shines through, leaving the reader wanting to see more of your worldview.
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